All Clear happy and healthy, BUT pre admission tomorrow for Mastectomy/Recon struggling mentally..

@"Butterfly 40" Thank you!!! Everyones input is so welcomed and so appreciated, it is nice to be able to be brutally honest and human in all of this. I always say there is no right or wrong way in any of it, no matter what you are facing. True! I am hoping I bounce back really well, because then I can get back into my exercise and moving forward with peace of mind. Hugs xo

Hi Melinda, 

Thank you so much for sharing your feelings with us. It must be so uneasy, but perfectly normal feelings for what you have been through. You have been a very strong fighter through all these years. It's okay to feel sad, angry, upset and any other feelings. 

It's great that you are WELL, so you will recover from the surgery quickly. You will feel well again soon and not worry about recurrence. 

You are an inspiration and great support for all of us. We will be thinking of you really hard leading up to your surgery. 

Wishing you the best and everything goes well at the pre admission tomorrow!

Lots and lots of love and hugs for you! 

Brightspace haha!! yes have started gathering things I will need earplugs included!!! absolutely!! they'll confirm my date tomorrow hopefully not too long, but at least i'll be ready! thank you xx

Hi Mel 
Another newbie here...all the best for a q u ick recovery .thankyou for your inspiring advice and lovely heart <3
Are the earplugs packed ?

Kat, thank you, I really appreciate it. I think when you get lost in the fear and loss that you forget what youve actually already been through...and honestly it was the depths of hell or at least felt like it, and I didnt think I would have come through it, but I did. I guess the fact its been such a long recovery from Chemo Im finally getting somewhere that I know this will set me back for a while. So yes just need to focus on that final piece of kicking this thing to the curb! Hugs xo

Hi Mel,
I know I'm really new to the group but I just wanted to say in reading all of the posts that I have you have been one of the most positive and supportive people. You have also faced alot and fought really hard to get your life back and this as scary as it is, will be that very last thing that you face before you can kick this all for the very last time to the curb! Knowing that you nailed it and come out the other side a true survivor with the knowledge that you've done everything possible to live a long and healthy life. And look forward to all the beautiful adventures you, your boys and your partner now have ahead.
Good luck with your surgery, know that we are all thinking of you 
Kat x

@Shaylls thank so much for your post, it helps to know others get it!!! helps you feel not quite so alone in it all. Just have to keep reminding myself how TOUGH! to have gotten this far...this is my finish line after this. 

@RNSW Rita thank you so much, its my 4hr pre admission so they'll be confirming the date so far either 13th or 27th Feb. Breathe....thats me talking to myself...amazing isnt it, I look at what Ive endured the past 6yrs and still this brings me to breaking point. Enough tears!! get through tomorrow and lets keep moving!!! 

Hugs ladies, thank you!! Melinda xo

@iserbrown Thank you so very much for your encouragement, you are right, in that, I know I have to do it, but deep down I know I don't want to, but it is for the best and I do realize that. I will ring the support and have a chat, I think it really will be helpful, thanks!

@rowdy Thanks! it really is that isn't it? I can be honest, Ive always loved my boobs, losing one is incredibly personal as i know not everyone is attached to them. The harder part I carry is my Mum had a Mastectomy at 40 and she regretted it, adds to my pain, though I know I am so very different. So am being super smart! 

@Afraser Thanks! You know I think the self doubt creeps in, you spend so much time being on top of it, proactive positive and doing all the right things, that you do lose a little faith that I made this decision as I know I dont want to face another recurrence, so you are so right! 

@Primek Kath thank you so much, I am grateful that Im only losing one its so scarred and battered from all the treatments and surgery that not even i cant touch it, so its useless anyway. Strangely when I think about it, Ive been living with one Boob!!! really since mid 2015, so how will this be any different really? I love the idea of writing, I used to write alot and alot of poetry, so that I will do! 

@Lisa50 Thanks so much too, I am so very aware of my journey and I think like everyone here it really helps when listening to others and how you can help support. I guess the reality is I am human and the journey gets downright hard sometimes. Stupid isnt it? sometimes I forget to give myself permission...being a single parent Ive had to be everything to my kids, breaking hasnt been an option and yet I allowed them to see all of me through Chemo...and I have no regrets so I need to remind myself of that! This is life, being strong is one thing, being sad, fearful, angry and downright a raving lunatic at times is OK too. 

@"Michelle R" Thanks! I think thats why I try to keep focusing on, Im thankful its just a single and knowing that boob wont give me any trouble again, really is what keeps me going. Yes Ive started to plan, meals, pillows bit anxious as will be alone alot as to how I'll manage as long as I can shuffle along I'll be fine. 

@socoda My Dear Cath, thank you so much yet again for your support, my Dad is in reasonable health, but Im worried as this is too close to home, he nursed my Mum through the same surgery, so I know how hard it is for him. I will let him come for  little bit and I have to say he was my rock through Chemo, took care of my kids kept us all going. 

Sorry I know a long post, but wanted to acknowledge you all, and thank you for the support, I know its so normal to feel this way, and cry?? OMG all week long it hasnt let up and that has concerned me. I find out tomorrow my date and Im hoping that I will feel a little more peaceful stepping through everything. Big breath...just another hiccup on the road to freedom hmmm?? 

Big hugs everyone, yeah yeah the posts made me cry some more Uuuuuugh!!!! xo Melinda

Hi Melinda,
I definitely feel for you because I know that feeling. You can do this you are brave and strong this is just a hurdle at the moment you are coming towards the jump, tomorrow you will jump it and the day after you will over it and it will be behind you.
You have been through so much already and when you go in for surgery tomorrow know we are all behind you. Your own cheer squad cheering you and thinking of you. We may not know eachother but we share in eachothers highs and lows a sisterhood of fighters!
All the best Rita xo 

Hi Mel, 
What a road you have had. This is just another step that you are taking To ensure this thing is beaten. Every step taken on this journey is scary. We all feel it every day. Talk to us all whenever you need over this next phase. Let your dad be there to help, that's  what he wants and we all know in this time we need to take the help that's offered. Your not alone. 
Keep us posted constantly as we are here to help you through. Your a tough one. You can do this. 
We all relate to how you would be feeling right now. If anyone gets it, it's the ladies on here. It's very real. 
Lots of love and best wishes for tomorrow xxx