All Clear happy and healthy, BUT pre admission tomorrow for Mastectomy/Recon struggling mentally..
To say its been a tough week, has been an understatement even after a recurrence multiple surgeries and treatments over the past 6yrs. As much as I knew it was coming, I wasnt prepared for the call from Hospital for my pre-admission tomorrow. 19 months on from a lumpectomy, 13 months post chemo, happy, healthy reclaiming my life. The mental torture has been relentless this week, knowing I'm WELL but in light of a recurrence don't gamble Melinda, do a Mastectomy/Diep flap reconstruction. Even knowing deep down its the best thing I could do, I still struggle with the loss, the prevention, the surgery. Its always been my struggle getting to this decision now it is here, I don't feel any different, I'm still struggling with it. I can be honest, I'm scared, petrified of the actual surgery, the recovery, the loss, the end result. Struggling with feeling Im damned if I do, damned if I don't. Maybe I'll feel different once it's done? Ive looked at it every which way possible, and its just so mentally challenging when I know Im so well...the tears havent stopped. I will also be mostly alone through recovery as my kids are going to live with their Dad as its easier for them to get to Uni and my baby in VCE. Whilst its the right thing for me to do...am heartbroken to not have them with me loving and supporting me. My Partner lives an hour away, due to work and life will only be able to manage at different times. Another reminder of traveling this road nearly 7yrs without my Mum, lucky to have my Dad who wants to help but is 77. Inspite of all this, knowing how incredibly lucky am I really!!! how dare I be sad, upset, angry, so why do I struggle, don't know how to resolve this for myself?? I've always been proactive, positive and upbeat...hoping its purely the fear thats getting in the way...
Newbie
Hi there everyone 👋 this is my first time posting my journey so far, it has taken me awhile to do this, so apologize in advance for such a long post. First I must say how wonderful it has been reading people's posts and how lovely and caring you all are 💞 such an inspiration I was diagnosed 10/2/20 with ILC stage 2 grade 2 hormone + her2- 11mm right breast. Appointment with Breast Surgeon the next evening he suggested lumpectomy but going for a MRI 20/2/20. Results back 27/2/20 that uncovered a few small lesions so more biopsies they came back cancerous 4/3/20. So now have chosen to have a skin & nipple sparing mastectomy with tissue expander & sentinel node biopsy. Boy how things change. BS is hoping for clear margins and clear under nipple and clear nodes then no need for chemo or rads just 5 year hormones. Op booked for 9/3/20 Private Hospital. Awoke to so much pain in top of breast where the tissue expander seemed to be up to high (under my muscle). Heaps of pain killers, even the self administrating pump thingy, eventually taken to my private room (that was nice). Had one drain in, IV, oxygen, then the usual obs, pain killers & antibiotics through out the night & day. 10/3/20 still very painful like nothing was really working. Nurse took me off the IV, oxygen & self administration thingy and gave me 2 endos but even they didn't help the pressure feeling. Feeling pretty bummed. Pathology results should be back by Fri week. 12/3/20 saw physio start level 1 exercises and walking the corridors. 6/3/20 Yay going home today after 1 week. Results in 20/3/20 good margins, main tumor was actually 16mm, 3 smaller lesions, unfortunately 1 out of 4 sentinel nodes had a 4mm cancer, bugger now I'm told it's going to be chemo, rads & hormones. Being referred to the Alan Walker Centre. 31/3/20 appointments with chemo oncologist & radiologist, off for blood tests and an echo test on heart before I start chemo. 8/4/20 1st chemo cycle booked. Treatment plan is 4 cycles of AC dose dense every fortnightly then 4 cycles of Paclitaxel dose dense every fortnight, then radiotherapy 5 days a week for 5 weeks. Then hormones for 5 years. 7/4/20 Appointment with BS put 100ml in TE. 8/4/20 chemo went well, went home with a bag of medication, was waiting to feel sick or nausea but I didn't. Cycle 2 booked for 22/4/20 went well again. 28/4/20 unfortunately I had an accident this afternoon cut my shin open on some tin, rushed to emergncy ended up with a 8cm long cut and 9 stitches and had a tetnus shot. Discharged at 10.30pm with having 1 antibiotic & a script for more. 30/4/20 leg was painful getting red and had a fever 38.7 so back to emergency and was admitted straight on to IV antibiotics and lots of tests, transferred me to RDH more tests. 2/5/20 Chemo oncologist came and saw me said chemo cycle 3 booked for 6/5/20 is cancelled. 5/5/20 discharged. 7/5/20 community nurse house visit to change dressing, leg still throbbing when unelevating. 8/5/20 Appointment with BS put 75ml in TE only 75ml to go then no more GREAT! as it is such an uncomfortable process and feels like a rock. 9/5/20 concerned about leg still sore. 11/5/20 nurse came to change dressing said wound was looking ok but warmth & redness not good so went my gp and changed my antibiotics, contacted my BC nurse & she filled in my chemo oncologist he said go for your usual pre blood test & come into tomorrow for chemo depending on wound. 12/5/20 well he took one look and sent me straight to emergency RDH after they took a wound swab (to find out which bacteria bug to treat for which takes 3 days to grow). So once again admitted put on IV antibiotics, wound cleaned and packed, more tests. This is really turning into a nightmare😣. 14/4/20 finally got the swab results, so on the right antibiotic now YAY YAY. 15/4/20 one of the treating Dr's came and said the xray of your leg showed a shadow on your bone which could be that the infection could have spread to it, so off for a CT scan (just what I don't need) thankfully results came be negative 😊😊.Got discharged 4pm with take home antibiotics.16/5/20 the best sleep for the year marvelous I've been so exhausted. Nurses coming daily, finally everyday seeing improvement. So chemo cycle 3 booked for 26/5/20 depending on wound. Usual blood tests day before. YAY they decided to go ahead finally can get back on track. Feeling so much better now. 29/5/20 nurse coming out this morning. Appointment this afternoon with BS only going to go for half the fill to my TE. Chemo cycle 4 last AC booked 9/6/20. Once again sorry for the long story but thought it best to put it all out there. xx❤❤xx
About to start radiotherapy
I have just had my planning session for radiotherapy on my right breast (mastectomy in July 2019, tissue expander now in place) I was worried about having the tattoos but they were just a scratch. The CT machine closest to my home (I live in SW WA) was not able to do the scan so I had to travel a couple of hours closer to Perth. All ok there though. Apparently the images are not so good with the magnet in place on my tissue expander but the newer machine was good. It was just a wasted journey, a week after chemo. So I am hoping I can get some good tips from those of you who have been through the radiotherapy journey (I think I have 25 daily sessions).
Breast Implants following major double mastectomy and lymph nodes removal
I am having surgery in May for breast implants and am anxious of what to expect. Though I have been told by my surgeon it will be 2 operations and very painful I am still going through with it. My double mastectomy was in October 2014 followed by a second operation in November 2014 to remove cancerous lymph nodes on my left side not originally found. Went through chemo, allergies to the drugs, etc etc. If there is anyone who might have some insight or advice on this operation I would appreciate it. Judy
Going mental
I'm going nuts 4 x acs 8 taxol mastectomy expander refills what set me off today was calling onco whom of course was busy I can't feel my feet in desperation I called bc nurse hum it appears my nerves are gone but biggest shock you have done massive treatments maybe we will stop chemo wtf my intention was its killing my nerves apparently 8 taxol s and the rest is enough but I'm scared I don't finish its killing me now if I finish chemo my bodies not taking it anymore nor my mind ladies anyone else stopped chemo? Still 5 weeks of radio I'm so confused apparently there's like a .5 now if I stop chemo one part of me wants to stop another is soo scared say I stop then it comes back? Can't do it advice please
Why dont we talk about this?
Hello, I was diagnosed October 2013, surgery and reconstructive surgery continued, chemo and then tamoxifen which I have stopped taking. Why aren't we told about all the side effects? Why I wasnt told I had cancer from the start then that's a whole new question too as surely this process would have been handled differently. The chemo has depleted my oestrogen and I am now with a nil operating vagina. I'm a happily married woman but its impossible to engage in let alone enjoy intimacy and what can I do about it? It's like the doctors don't care! I have taken on alot of naturaly therapies and diet lifestyle changes but if anyone knows anyone we can talk to, to get this important part of our relastionship back on track please anyone any direction would very much appreciate it :-)
Diary of a DIEP flap bilateral reconstruction
When I was considering reconstruction options I went looking for accounts of people who had been through the process. There was not much there so I promised myself I would try to add to the information available. I am a few days into the process so will have to go back a bit to explain my situation. Bowel cancer diagnosis age 36 when having my first screening (aged 10 yrs less than my mother had been diagnosed, she died of it). Surgery and loss of 2/3 of bowel. Chemotherapy over following 7 months. Genetic investigations revealed HNPCC (lynch syndrome) so I have a continuing risk; I have annual colon screening and had a total hysterectomy to reduce my risk of associated cancers. When my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer I was told it was not associated with our genetics, just the 'background' risk of breast cancer, so i did not really believe it could happen to me - I had had my cancer.How quickly genetics research is advancing. I found a lump in 2010 and began my breast cancer journey which turns out to be genetically linked with HNPCC (not the more usual BRACCA genetics).
Chemo, herceptin, surgery
Hi all, have been reading everyones post wasn't sure if I wanted to put up a post. So here goes. I have had 2 surgeries, chemo. and having herceptin, now booked for a mastectomy and recontruction for the 19/8/14. Terrifed of the what is to come, as I can see everyone else feels the same.
Thanks
Well isn't it amazing what a little blog on a totally unrelated page has started. Firstly thanks to Julie for starting up a conversation which I had never thought to have on this site. Thanks Pam for starting up this page. What amazing women are there at BCNA. After reading the initial post on the breast reconstruction page I realised I was not alone. I like most of you was thrown into early menopause after starting chemo at age 47. A second breast cancer diagnosis within 18 months of the first and more chemo saw me well and truly staying in a state of menopause...is it a state? Anyway, I quickly dried up down there! Sex became painful. I discovered Sylk early on and it is pretty good, although have to use quite a lot. I am nearly 52 and since reading the other blog have started to use replens. It has really helped. My tissues were not as damaged as poor Julie's and I never bled, just the pain and burning. I feel things may start to turn around now that I have discovered the replens. I was only using it every 3 days, but will start to use it more often for a while. Thanks again girls. Paula xx
3 weeks post op
Three weeks ago I had left mastectomy, lymph node removal and DIEP flap reconstruction. All went well and I got the all clear no cancer in the lymph nodes. So glad all the chemo, radiation had done the trick. The last two drain tubes came out last Monday so walking around is a lot easier now without my 'two friends'. Trying to do my exercises but I am finding it difficult as there is still a bit of pain in the arm. How long does the pain last? Don't know if it is from the lymph node removal or from the reconstruction of the breast. I see the oncologist in two weeks so will start the next stage of this journey.