The Start
I kinda routinely did a breast check, and have been having consistent mammograms since early 30's as my Mum had breast cancer. I always try to be a positive person and proud that I am 46 and not taking any medication. I recall the moment I noticed a lump because I just put my hand straight on it and felt a bit painful. I assumed it was just a cyst again and having shifted 8 times in the last 7 years knew I was about 6 months late for a mammogram. When I was asked by my GP to go for a core tissue sample I felt a little concerned, but never thought it would be a problem. The results day I nearly told my husband not to come with me because I was sure it was alright and why should he miss out on work. As I introduced him to my doctor the response from the doctor instantly confirmed I was in big trouble here. Being told you have breast cancer I had two thoughts that followed. Oh my God and I knew one day Id have my turn, its in my family. As we stood outside the doctors surgery I looked at my husband and said "What are we going to do now, we are supposed to be going to work?".
We have just taken that "Leap of Faith", as we named the decision to move to Launceston in Tasmania. After only being here for 6 months, the 2 of us now settled into our jobs and I have just begun a Traineeship as a Pharmacy Assistant. We dont have family here and the 2 couples we know have their own lives, and I can honestly say I feel we are totally on our own with this. We live at Swan Bay, 25 minutes out of Launceston, so its beautiful and tranquil, perfect for walks, but secluded.
I have just been into hospital to have the lump removed and several nodes, and now await the verdict of whats next.
Comments
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Hi Belinda, I am really feeling for you right now. It's such a shock finding out isn't it - really hard to get your head around especially when you're relatively young and healthy. So much of what you've written reminds me of my own diagnosis 7 months ago. I am 46 too and I thought going to the gym 4-5 times a week would stop me getting any nasty diseases, at least for a couple of decades. My mum also had breast cancer but she was 61 so I didn't expect to get it in my 40s. And I sent my husband off to work on the day I got the biopsy results thinking it would be nothing to worry about.
I know you must feel horrible right now. I think the waiting and not knowing where you stand is probably the worst part. And its a shame you don't have your family and friends nearby. But I am glad you found this site. I have found the support and information I've got here invaluable. While my family and friends have mostly been terrific sometimes it's easier to share your fears and frustrations with other women going through the same things.
I had a 2.4 cm hormone positive tumour that was thought to be low risk after the biopsy but found to be more aggressive after my surgery. On the positive side my surgeon got clear margins and there was no spread to my lymph nodes. I've had chemo (lost my hair which totally sucks) and I am now almost finished 6 weeks of radiation therapy. Soon I will have to start taking tamoxifen for 5 years. While none of it has been fun, I suppose through reading other women's stories on this site I've come to realise that I've been fairly lucky overall. I haven't suffered any dramatic side effects and my cancer has been treatable and my prognosis is good.
Unfortunately there are no guarantees with this crappy disease but I do feel pretty confident that I will get past this and life will go back to normal. I just say this to let you know there is light at the end of the tunnel. You will get through it. Be gentle on yourself, accept any help that is offered and don't hesitate to ask any question at all or just express how you're feeling on this site. There's always lots of amazing, caring women here willing to respond.
I will be keeping my fingers crossed for you Belinda and hoping things go as smoothly as possible for you. Take care, Janet.
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Hi,
It's really hard when you don't have family around you - a similar circumstance as my hubby and I moved from QLD to come down and look after my aging Mother, she passed away five weeks after we moved to Victoria....as a result we moved to a small town (we were thinking of moving to Tasmania) but I landed a job at the local Council and whammo! Guess what......lump, doctors and all the rest. So my hubby and I had to go through it all with no family around...mind you at the time I wasn't thinking to much about our isolation, just trying to plough through each day. The ONE thing that kept me sane was this website! The ladies on here helped me through my fears, rants and general raving. I needed to vent, and it was so good that the women on here are used to it, we have all done it, we all needed to do it - so even though you are isolated in geographical terms......here - you are not alone. Don't be afraid to put down your thoughts - you will get responses and they will benefit you in many ways, just remember we are 'here for you'....big hugs and lots of love from Josie x
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Youre right it really does make feel better that you have replied to my first acknowledgement of having breast cancer. Its great we are the same age, and I can relate to how much I loved the gym and used to go 5 nights a week religiously. I only stopped when I met my husband, and had to replace that with walking and the bike as we shifted continuoulsy once a year over the last 7! We havent had time to form new friendships along the way, so having isolated ourselves was always a tad risky, but it wasnt something we had control over.
You have helped straight away, friends are avoiding the phone, and the aquaintances I have met here over the last 6 months in Tas havent been seen for dust! My husband has just spent 3 days at home following the Op to remove tumour and 3 nodes, but now back to work to try to keep some normality at his job.
Grade 3 ductal cancer, not sure what Mums was, doesnt really matter now, I beat her, mines worse apparently! She skipped the Chemo and Rad, lopped off one boob, and went on Tamoxifen, and is about 73 now!
Having been sent home over a long weekend was a little isolating, but I made a phone call this morning to the Breast Cancer Council to get some advice on our immediate needs.
I had a friend who had breast cancer 2 years back, she was brutal when I told her with the description of what Im in for. I just hold onto the fact that I need to just go through it one day at a time.
Appreciate your response,
Bel
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Thank you Daina for you great words of advice and I do appreciate it. We were a bit stuck because I was sent home with only seeing a Breast Cancer Nurse, and then no communications due to it being a long weekend. We have moved here to Launceston and dont have friends to drive us around, my husband has gone back to work, and I live 25 mins North of Launceston at Swan Bay. Unable to drive and now my husband is totally overwhelmed with having to do everything, I shall have to work out how I am supposed to get to these meetings first!
There is one this morning, I missed that, but at this moment, with horrible weather outside, wouldnt have been interested yet anyway.
I am a social butterfly and love a chat, so I will be keen to participate in anything to meet people and make friends.
Regards Bel
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Josie
I thank you for the words of encouragement. This is my second day home on my own, and it really helps to have "friends" out there who understand. As I look around my house and see the floors need vaccumming and notice my husband who has had me to do all the domestics seemed to have his head in a flurry as he left this morning. I have spoilt him and now he has to do it all. But he has the short list in mind, and I remind myself its not important.
You never know what its like until it happens to you. I was someone who thought it wouldnt, remain positive I said, and you will be fine. My husband said "I never expected anything to happen before we turned 50!" which sums up his responses every time I said "We should get some income protection, life insurance, bla bla bla"
5 years ago when his sister became brain injured in a cycling accident I marvelled at the results obtained for some-one who had a fabulous career, wealthy friends, and plenty of money to support the years ahead. I recall thinking, how hard would it be if you werent wealthy, when things go wrong over night.
How did you cope? Do you remember that time between the op and the results?
Regards
Bel
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I do have your phone numer on the fridge, but knew I wouldnt make it to the first meeting this morning on Melbourne Cup Day! My husband has gone back to work, I cant drive, and we havent got outside help its just the two of us.
I was told by my doctor that there is a great support system here, and a high population of breast cancer people. I thought good, at last, I can join a group and make friends.
I have been working for 5 months in a Pharmacy, they have sent beautiful flowers, but obviously it takes longer to form bonds.
Asking people to care, and help a stranger, and I havent been to church, is a tall ask. A bit rude rolling up at church now (smiling).
I have a great sense of humour, and find it easy to talk to people, its the patience I struggle with at the moment.
This website is fabulous, and I look forward to meeting you one day.
I am at Swan Bay by the way on Windermere Road, and most locals dont even know where it is!
Regards Bel
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Dear Bel, You asked if I remembered the time between my surgery and the results! It was double jeopardy - I had the surgery prior to Christmas, and every thing shut down for Christmas and New Year! I had to wait until the 4th of January for my results - it was like a bad dream and everything was quite surreal....I just don't know how I managed it, but I did. One part of me wanted desperatley to know the results (hoping for the best) but the other half of me didn't want to know - expecting the worst. That was a very long time to suffer that all out - I found the lump in late October, and then the stupid and most incompetant GP forgot to ring me about the results - because she didn't book me in for the mammogram, I didn't end up with surgery until the 21st of December - talk about a comedy of errors.
After that everything seems a blur, the chemo and radiotherapy - BUT, I got through it. It certainly changed my whole outlook on life - If I get cranky now, I make sure it has purpose. It was at this time I didcovered this website - this is what held it together for me - my poor hubby was by now quite used to the tears, I dont drive either, so I depended on him greatly for all those travels from one end of the state to the other, with all the tests and treatments - he never once complained. He would go fishing out at the lakes, and it was a kind of quiet reprieve for both of us, the least I could do under the circumstances was to give him some time out on his own.
We never got to move to Tasmania as planned, but have no regrets with living here - but we went over to Tasmania in February - we took the car, we could only stay seven days as I was in the middle of treatments and the doctor wasn't happy about it....but I wasn't concerned with his happiness. So we went anyway and had a ball - we did the East Coast, down to Hobart and back up to the North West where I spent a lot of my childhood. It all went so fast time wise, but we are saving like crazy to do it again in 2014.
I have made some wonderful friends on here - some I email, others on Facebook and also on this site - but we are in the club that no-one wanted to join, but we are firm friends - you know, the kind of friends you get to keep and have a common bond with. The kind of friends that allow you to vent, cry and share joy. So you are as the ladies have said 'not alone'. Thinking of you, hugs and love from Josie x x x
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Dear Bel, You asked if I remembered the time between my surgery and the results! It was double jeopardy - I had the surgery prior to Christmas, and every thing shut down for Christmas and New Year! I had to wait until the 4th of January for my results - it was like a bad dream and everything was quite surreal....I just don't know how I managed it, but I did. One part of me wanted desperatley to know the results (hoping for the best) but the other half of me didn't want to know - expecting the worst. That was a very long time to suffer that all out - I found the lump in late October, and then the stupid and most incompetant GP forgot to ring me about the results - because she didn't book me in for the mammogram, I didn't end up with surgery until the 21st of December - talk about a comedy of errors.
After that everything seems a blur, the chemo and radiotherapy - BUT, I got through it. It certainly changed my whole outlook on life - If I get cranky now, I make sure it has purpose. It was at this time I didcovered this website - this is what held it together for me - my poor hubby was by now quite used to the tears, I dont drive either, so I depended on him greatly for all those travels from one end of the state to the other, with all the tests and treatments - he never once complained. He would go fishing out at the lakes, and it was a kind of quiet reprieve for both of us, the least I could do under the circumstances was to give him some time out on his own.
We never got to move to Tasmania as planned, but have no regrets with living here - but we went over to Tasmania in February - we took the car, we could only stay seven days as I was in the middle of treatments and the doctor wasn't happy about it....but I wasn't concerned with his happiness. So we went anyway and had a ball - we did the East Coast, down to Hobart and back up to the North West where I spent a lot of my childhood. It all went so fast time wise, but we are saving like crazy to do it again in 2014.
I have made some wonderful friends on here - some I email, others on Facebook and also on this site - but we are in the club that no-one wanted to join, but we are firm friends - you know, the kind of friends you get to keep and have a common bond with. The kind of friends that allow you to vent, cry and share joy. So you are as the ladies have said 'not alone'. Thinking of you, hugs and love from Josie x x x
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Hi Mel,
For me being in the "waiting room" is a difficult time which is perfectly natural.
For me one day at a time is the only way to go on this journey otherwise I do my head in (and those around me) ~ but I see you have worked this out alreadyHave you checked your Super to see if you have Income Protection? Hopefully (like me) you took it out ages ago and because the premium came out of my Super I just forgot about it.
You, along with the other members of the awful club are in my thoughts and prayers daily. Ann
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I live around the corner from your friends Kathy! We moved here 6 months back, and Ive found it vertually impossible to get to know neighbours. We also dont have children, and up until now, I worked at Legana Amcal, job is waiting for me.
I am keen to connect with people close by, and even though I get the friendly waves, it would be great to talk to people.
My parents arrive next Thursday.
Have to run now, I am 46 by the way
XX Bel
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Hi Bel
as you have my phone number , please call me. I reckon there will be someone either through Sue Schwabe, the BC nurse, or the Cancer Council, who you will "click" with. I am happy to meet you- I can drive but am working til Thursday this coming week- usually only work Mondays and Wednsedays, but warn you I am old and grey! (61). It is great that your parents arrive on Thursday, perhaps they could bring you in to town one day and we could all meet up... if you want. There are ways and means, and the reason all of us out there in the world and on-line are around is because we care and don't want anyone to feel isolated.
The sun is shining so that helps, take care, Mandy
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Hi Bel
as you have my phone number , please call me. I reckon there will be someone either through Sue Schwabe, the BC nurse, or the Cancer Council, who you will "click" with. I am happy to meet you- I can drive but am working til Thursday this coming week- usually only work Mondays and Wednsedays, but warn you I am old and grey! (61). It is great that your parents arrive on Thursday, perhaps they could bring you in to town one day and we could all meet up... if you want. There are ways and means, and the reason all of us out there in the world and on-line are around is because we care and don't want anyone to feel isolated.
The sun is shining so that helps, take care, Mandy
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I ahave found a someone who also doubles up as a volunteer on Tuesdays at the Launceston Cancer Council who is happy to get in touch. Ring me and I can give you her details!
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