Well...crap
How much crying can one person do?? Without the headaches that follow??
I know there is a song called "I don't like Mondays", but I've now found my own reasons to not like Mondays. It was a Monday that I found the lump, a Monday that a diagnosis to cancer was confirmed, a Monday that I had all my chemo treatments, and this past Monday, I was diagnosed with secondary cancer in my lung.
Looking back, perhaps it's because I didn't make the lifestyle choices a cancer diagnosis should cause you to make, maybe I didn't take it seriously enough, maybe I should have been more insistant the doctors remove the lymph node under my sternum that they weren't sure about, maybe the meditation would have helped, maybe, maybe, maybe,
I will start chemo again (on Monday), and believe that whilst there will be no end date for chemo treatment, I plan on doing this for at least the next 20 years - the hospital might get sick of me, but I don't care, I will still be here (or there!). With all the positive energy I feel around me, I know that the symptoms troubling me now, will subside, and I will feel much better and will have the energy to live my life again.
My friend wanted me to start blogging again, perhaps this time, I will stick to it more routinely and reach out to the people who know exactly what I'm going through - to cut out the things in my life that aren't working, and to embrace the things that make me happy.
I look forward to writing again, maybe after first new treatment
xxx
Comments
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I agree- it's nothing you did or didn't do -crap just happens.I am so sorry to hear your news-as if you haven't been through enough already.It's just so unfair.But I can see you have that fighting spirit and go get em attitude.Yes,do blog back here to get support from your pink sisters or to just vent your feelings and frustrations.Good luck for next week when you start chemo - let us know how it goes.Sending a hug.
Tonya xx
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Thanks, guys!! I know it is said here often that us bc girls have to stick together and that we are here to vent and express our feelings, I don't want to do that too often, so feel free to tell me to Suck it up and beat it!!!
The support here has always been amazing, I hope to inspire others to kick this once and for all
Penny0 -
What a shock for you. But at least you're thinking very positively - "20 yrs down the track etc". I believe one way or another if this was meant to be, then it would happen - no matter what you did or didn't do. Don't feel it's your fault by any means.
I'm a bit philosophical about all this and figure that its a test of character, strength and love. I try not to go down the "what if" scenerio as I figure it's a bit pointless as it's already happened.
You need to put yourself first and learn to say 'no' if you don't want to do something. Embrace life, do things you enjoy, try out some challenges - you never know it might be heaps of fun.
But don't forget we are all here for you when you need to talk.
Take care and go and relax in a lovely warm bath with lots of scented candles around it...play some lovely music too - does wonders for the body (and the soul!).
Luv H
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What a shock for you. But at least you're thinking very positively - "20 yrs down the track etc". I believe one way or another if this was meant to be, then it would happen - no matter what you did or didn't do. Don't feel it's your fault by any means.
I'm a bit philosophical about all this and figure that its a test of character, strength and love. I try not to go down the "what if" scenerio as I figure it's a bit pointless as it's already happened.
You need to put yourself first and learn to say 'no' if you don't want to do something. Embrace life, do things you enjoy, try out some challenges - you never know it might be heaps of fun.
But don't forget we are all here for you when you need to talk.
Take care and go and relax in a lovely warm bath with lots of scented candles around it...play some lovely music too - does wonders for the body (and the soul!).
Luv H
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If I can get through this with half of your fighting spirit then I know I have won!! Am sending you a huge hug!0
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I like what you have said... A test of character, strength and love! (-:0
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Thanks, I know I can get through this, just wanted to be healthy a little longer. Hopefully treatment will help the breathing and I will start to feel better soon
Thanks again everyone for the hugs and support.
Penny0 -
I realised late last night that you're part of the Yarra valley group which I joined (I live in Blackburn)!!
I apologise for that but I'm so glad you like my thoughts...I am, by nature, a bit of a positive person so I always viewed this cancer thing as a challenge and test of strength for me.
Just regarding the Yarra group - have you noticed this group doesn't seem to active?
I have met a couple of the ladies from there for coffee on a Friday (when I don't work) and I was wondering if you want to do the same?
I was also wondering how would you feel if I start up another group for us "easties" that is more active.
I've tried to get in touch with the facilitator of the Yarra group but had no response (which worries me) but as it seems no one is facilitating and I'm constantly on the network I thought I'd start up another group - called it "Easties" and invite people to join including those who are part of Yarra ....then perhaps we could get together for coffee/cake every so often to give each other some support.
Let me know how you feel about that. I'll run it past a couple of the other members of Yarra too and see what they think.
cheers for now
Luv H
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Sounds good, I think there might be a support group based out of Ringwood Private, but never joined or enquired about it in the past, that might get us a few more friends!!!0
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Hi Penny
Yes I know of that particular support group and who facilitates it. I can send you the details if you wish.
I was talking more about on-line support group with the idea of getting together occasionally.
Does that still sound ok to you?
Let me know if you wish to connect to the Maroondah group and I can send you details. Unfortunately for me they have things on during the days I work so it was pointless me joining. Also I preferred to have a support group from the Hospital I was treated at, not another but they didn't have a support group suitable - only for Chinese women or Advanced ladies...I didn't fit either criteria.
This is the only place I got support from but it was great nevertheless.
cheers for now
Helen
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Hi Penny
So sorry to hear your news - I too have lung mets - going on 18months plus now. I am 40 and live in Melbourne too.
There is a group at Box Hill called Thursday Girls and is specifically for women with secondary BC - we range in age from 30's to 70's and these ladies are such an important part of my life.
There is also an ABC group on here and we have an active FB group if you are a user and interested too. PM me for more info.
It is worth getting a copy of the new Hopes and Hurdles kit and ask for the Lung Mets booklet.
You have a wonderful attitude. I hope your current treatment brings you some relief.
Much love. Amanda0 -
Hi Penny
So sorry to hear your news - I too have lung mets - going on 18months plus now. I am 40 and live in Melbourne too.
There is a group at Box Hill called Thursday Girls and is specifically for women with secondary BC - we range in age from 30's to 70's and these ladies are such an important part of my life.
There is also an ABC group on here and we have an active FB group if you are a user and interested too. PM me for more info.
It is worth getting a copy of the new Hopes and Hurdles kit and ask for the Lung Mets booklet.
You have a wonderful attitude. I hope your current treatment brings you some relief.
Much love. Amanda0 -
Hi Penny
So sorry to hear your news - I too have lung mets - going on 18months plus now. I am 40 and live in Melbourne too.
There is a group at Box Hill called Thursday Girls and is specifically for women with secondary BC - we range in age from 30's to 70's and these ladies are such an important part of my life.
There is also an ABC group on here and we have an active FB group if you are a user and interested too. PM me for more info.
It is worth getting a copy of the new Hopes and Hurdles kit and ask for the Lung Mets booklet.
You have a wonderful attitude. I hope your current treatment brings you some relief.
Much love. Amanda0 -
Great advice...I heard of the Thursday girls and mentioned that in my previous post but as I said I don't fit the criteria and it's also on a day I work.
I have only just recently finished treatment at Box Hill Hospital. Did you also have treatment there?
Also I was wondering about your on-line name - are you a cow lover?? Cause I am! I have a huge black and white cow collection - everything you can think of! So I luv your name hahaha!
Anyway I am going to create the "Easties" on-line support group and invite you to join. This will be more about on-line blogging thru BCNA obviously and meeting occasionally for social get togethers and support, rather than a full on support group. So you would more than welcome to join.
Take care.
Luv H
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Thanks Helen
Mandamoo and moo are longtime nicknames though I do have a lovely cow painting in my home!
I live in Camberwell - the Easties sounds like a great idea. I have had treatment all over the place (Cabrini Malvern, Monash Morabbin, and currently Frankston private) - some of the Thursday girls have treatment at Box Hill but we are from all over really - there are not many ABC support groups around and once I got secondaries I didn't feel welcome in the other group I had tried to join.
:-)
A xx0
