One year on
Today is a day of mixed emotions for me. One year ago today I got the news that my breast cancer had returned, 3 years after my initial diagnosis! I was shocked beyond belief…. my whole world came crashing down yet again. I had fought so damn hard first time around, the treatment was gruelling, and I remember thinking back then “I will NEVER, EVER do this again…NEVER!”
I will never forget the day I got my secondary diagnosis. My sister and I were attending the hospital for what we (and my medical team) thought was to be a fairly routine appointment… just a discussion about another form of preventative treatment... nothing out of the ordindary. I remember us laughing and joking in the waiting room over some silly thing. Then we were called in and out came the words that are etched in my mind and changed my life forever “I am very sorry Celeste, I have some bad news for you…. But we will do whatever we can ”. In one breath, my life was no longer the same.
So here I am, one year on. I have looked death in the face now, on more than one occasion. I have fought hard to stay in this world, to continue to raise my beautiful daughter, who deserves her mum to be around. It has taken the better part of this last year just to accept my diagnosis…to get over the shock…and to pick up the pieces of my shattered world. I have stopped asking ‘why’ and I now make plans...and although they are no further ahead than in 3 month blocks (to coincide with my scans), they are still plans! I have good days and bad days…but at the moment there are more good days than bad, and for that I am truly grateful.
Those who know me well know that I am indeed a battler…always have been…always will be! They say there is no cure, they say I will get terribly sick, but I say roll on with the treatment…hit me with all you've got! I am still standing strong one year on and have the determination to beat the odds and kick cancer’s butt yet again!
In true Celeste style, I say "BRING IT"! Yeah!