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BelindaM's avatar
BelindaM
Member
15 years ago

Experiencing grief and loss

After attending the 2nd National Young women with Breast Cancer Conference last weekend...it was a real eye opener as to how all these feelings of loss, angry, feeling down, anxious are quite normal...I also think there is a real grief and loss period as well...loss of the breast or part of, loss of your hair, loss of the control you thought you had over your body, loss of your lifestyle....it's A LOT to deal with! I was talking to my friend the other day about the 7 stages of grieving....I think the most important thing to remember is although staying positive is important for your general well being you also have to allow yourself that time to grieve as well :O)

  • starsinmypocket's avatar
    starsinmypocket
    Member
    15 years ago

    Hi Belinda,

    Thanks for posting this. I have suffered a lot of grief and anger and I know it is normal but it still can be hard to deal with. I totally agree with the thinking positive thing - I find I want to punch anyone who tells me to think positively. Being sad and feeling scared does not mean I am being negative. In general my outlook is very positive but telling me to be positive tends to ignore and negate what I am actually feeling as being part of the healing process. 

     

  • BelindaM's avatar
    BelindaM
    Member
    15 years ago

    Yes...I totally agree! I have had friends tell me that they are disappointed in me for saying I felt down or upset...It's like telling someone who has lost a loved one "don't worry! just be positive and it'll be fine" Positivity helps but it doesn't fix everything! Sometimes you need to grieve....

    Sometimes I feel like it is some kind of failure if I don't have my happy positive face on all the time! The councelling I have been receiving through the Cancer Council has been really helpful! I can whinge to them all I like and they don't mind at all :O) They also told me about a book called "the happiness trap" which has been really helpful in understanding that feeling a bit down or anxious is totally normal and it is literally impossible to stay positive all the time....the journey is just that (it's not a holiday to Fiji people, bad stuff...lots of bad stuff happens to us along the way!),... with highs and lows and I think we come out the other side more grateful, compassionate and understanding people ....