Just diagnosed

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SharonMolenaar
SharonMolenaar Member Posts: 23
edited November 2012 in General discussion
Hi. I'm Sharon, 33 and diagnosed with breast cancer. I am a brac1 gene positive so since I was 30 I have been having 6 monthly scans. All were fine until two weeks ago when I was told I have an 8 millimeter tumor. I am just devastated. I have a 10 month old baby and I just want to be here to watch my little man grow up. I'm booked in on 11 July to have a double mastectomy with skin sparing reconstruction. I don't care at all about loosing my breasts I just want to survive these. I am so frightened about my prognosis and so worried that the tumor is growing while I am waiting for the surgery. The doctors have told me that it is a good sign that I can't feel a lump but it is an aggressive tumor. Every little pain and feeling I have in my body I just think that it must be the cancer and it has spread. I just want to get this surgery and the chemo started. Waiting around not knowing is just so hard. Has anyone had similar fears like me . .? I just want to get this tumor out and find out what I have to deal with . Xoxo

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  • Ange Edwardson
    Ange Edwardson Member Posts: 19
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Sharon, I will be thinking of you next week, I had the same operation last Tuesday, again managing the discomfort with Panadol. Just think you have caught this bugger really early and now taking control of it.
    As everyone told me, this is the worst part..waiting.. I got some sleeping tablets to help me through this time. If I had a decent night's sleep I found I felt so much more positive about everything. Good luck xxx
  • Ange Edwardson
    Ange Edwardson Member Posts: 19
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Sharon, I will be thinking of you next week, I had the same operation last Tuesday, again managing the discomfort with Panadol. Just think you have caught this bugger really early and now taking control of it.
    As everyone told me, this is the worst part..waiting.. I got some sleeping tablets to help me through this time. If I had a decent night's sleep I found I felt so much more positive about everything. Good luck xxx
  • SharonMolenaar
    SharonMolenaar Member Posts: 23
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Ange. Thank you so much. I always thought in my mind that I would face breast cancer because of my family history but I really didn't expect it to be this early. I don't think that I have even really thought about the impact of having my breast taken off will have, i just want to survive this. We're you really scared going in .? I keep thinking that the tumor will have grown so much and it will have spread so far. That's my biggest fear about waking up after surgery. Xox
  • SharonMolenaar
    SharonMolenaar Member Posts: 23
    edited March 2015
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    Thank you so much Michelle for your support. It's comforting to knowim not the only person going through this and people understand how I feel. You re so right that the waiting is the worst. I just want to get to this surgery and get it out. That is encourage that the surgery wasn't nearly as bad as you thought. I am so worried that I won't be able to lift up my little boy for a while .im just going to try to do everything I can to recover as fast as possible. Thank you so much for our encouragement. Xoxo
  • such is life
    such is life Member Posts: 93
    edited March 2015
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    Hi I had bilateral skin sparing mastectomies with tissue expanders about 6 weeks ago and never had anything stronger than a panadol or panadeine, I have been back at work for a couple of weeks, i had full range of motion from day one, while you may not be able to lift your precious little boy for the first couple of weeks you will still be able to give him big cuddles and kisses, and I am sure it wont be long till you are able to give him a big swing, I think the chemo is a bigger hurdle than the surgery, but I didnt have to have it so will leave it to the other ladies to comment on that, all the best and will be thinking of you  next wednesday

    Cheers Narelle 

  • Ange Edwardson
    Ange Edwardson Member Posts: 19
    edited March 2015
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    I was not scared about the surgery but just wanted it done. I had a lumpectomy in May so I knew what I was dealing with so that probably made it easier on the nerves! Keep yourself busy over the next week and surround yourself with positive people.
    Another wise owl promised me I would feel so much better when I knew what I was facing and had a plan in place. And they were so right. Remember you have detected it early and that is a big positive for you. X
  • SharonMolenaar
    SharonMolenaar Member Posts: 23
    edited March 2015
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    You are all so kind . It's so amazing that I'm getting so much comfort from all the support . I feel at the moment that I'm in the blocks ready to run the race of my life and I just want it to start . I think my mind is my worst enemy and I always try to protect myself by thinking the worst . I've had this arm pain all day so I've convinced myself it must have spread . You are all amazing women and I just hope I can be as strong as you all . Thank you so much x x xThanks so much for listening last night . I just have to get to surgery and then the fight can start . Can u please just remind me until I get there that it's going to be ok 
  • Joey_36
    Joey_36 Member Posts: 51
    edited March 2015
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    We all have days where we think the worst and wonder if we will ever be 'normal' again, but like someone once told me it will be a new normal....like when you had your precious baby, things changed but it was still ok. Can you get your Dr to give you something to settle your nerves?

    Always remember the majority of women diagnosed with early breast cancer survive.

    Hugs
    xxxx
  • TonyaM
    TonyaM Member Posts: 2,836
    edited March 2015
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    The waiting does your head in and there is no getting around that anxiety you feel.I just kept really busy in the day and took an over the counter pill that the chemist gave me to sleep at night leading up to surgery.With my first breast cancer diagnosis I was a mess.I wanted the cancer out pronto and I had visions of it spreading like wild fire all through me just like you.So what you are feeling is quite normal. My lump was 2cm and cancer hadn't gone to any of my 18 lymph nodes.I then had radiation and was ok for 7years and then it grew back in the same spot would you believe.So in 2010 I had a mastectomy and the lump was 3cm. I am fine now and touch wood,the cancer didn't travel anywhere. I was driving and doing normal stuff  about 3 weeks after surgery and I am older(56)and probably  way unfitter than you. You just have to tell your rational self that a week or two wait is not going to make the cancer spread.It's a big operation but after 3 days you don't have too much pain and you can move around ok. You'll get through it- you're in battle mode now.I think it's terrible that young women like yourself should have to face bc.It's unfair and just not right and I am so sorry for you.We are here for you any time you are scared or want to vent. Thinking of you and sending a hug.

                                    Tonya xx

  • TonyaM
    TonyaM Member Posts: 2,836
    edited March 2015
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    I have heard that triple negative is a more aggressive type but at this stage try not to guess your pathology. My surgeon told me that due to the size of my cancer I had a 60%chance that it had gone to my lymph nodes -well they were all clear.I was also told that I had only an 8%chance of bc coming back after radiation - well I lost on that one.This bc journey has more twists and turns than a theme park ride.You can't see around the next bend.I've come to hate statistics but I suppose the doctors have to base their treatments on some yardstick.It's good to research and be informed,doesn't always help the anxiety though.My mantra has become-prepare for the worst but hope for the best.        

                                  Tonya xx

  • TonyaM
    TonyaM Member Posts: 2,836
    edited March 2015
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    I have heard that triple negative is a more aggressive type but at this stage try not to guess your pathology. My surgeon told me that due to the size of my cancer I had a 60%chance that it had gone to my lymph nodes -well they were all clear.I was also told that I had only an 8%chance of bc coming back after radiation - well I lost on that one.This bc journey has more twists and turns than a theme park ride.You can't see around the next bend.I've come to hate statistics but I suppose the doctors have to base their treatments on some yardstick.It's good to research and be informed,doesn't always help the anxiety though.My mantra has become-prepare for the worst but hope for the best.        

                                  Tonya xx

  • kirsteno
    kirsteno Member Posts: 4
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Sharon

    I am 33 and in the last three weeks, I took my baby to the doctor for her 4 month injections, was sent for an ultraound, was diagnosed and had a total left masectomy.

    The week between diagnosis and surgery was just agony - I felt all of what you have described, every twinge, niggle it wa the cancer spreading. Having to go for the CT and bone scans to rule out spread terrifying.  I was breastfeeding too and was advised to stop.  

     I am the third in my family and it has been reccomended to have genetic testing done but they didn't want to take the other breast just yet. I was disappointed with this as I just wanted to get it all over with but have followed the reccomendations of the surgeon to get on with the treatment and worry about the rest later

    Now, a week or so past surgery I feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest. The sentinel nodes came back clear but I am Her2+ and grade 3. ??. It was hard being away from the bub and my toddler and not being able to lift them or have cuddles but I am getting stronger every day.  I was so lucky my sister was able to come to help with the baby so I could focus on myself.

    Next comes the appointments with the oncologists - I guess I have learnt in the last 3 weeks that the brain can only cope with so much and will just shut down/out. Things have happened so quickly I often wake up and forget that I am in this nightmare, only to remember....  I often think that the doctors are keeping things from me - I wonder if it is becasue they do this every day and know that we become overwhelmed with what is happening to us. 

    I am concentrating on eating and sleeping well and spending time with my children while I wait for the med onc appointment next week. The waiting is agony.?......

  • FD
    FD Member Posts: 139
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Sharon can't imagine being diagnosed so young. I am 40 and have had bilateral mastectomies recently (30 May) just like Narelle and Ange and just wanted to say if you have had a baby you can definitely do this. The hardest part will be being in hospital away from bubba. Even though you will be itching to get back home get all the rest you can while you are in hospital. I have an 8 and 4 year old and they can really wear you out. However they can be reasoned with and even bribed when required :) 10 month olds can be a little trickier....I'll be thinking of you and sending you healing vibes!! Just take all the pain killers offered and be kind to yourself.

    Take care

    Lara xx

  • SharonMolenaar
    SharonMolenaar Member Posts: 23
    edited March 2015
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    Thank you girls for all your support. I'm five sleeps away till surgery and it can't come quick enough. I went today and had my hair all chopped so all the changes don't come at once and then we met with the ivf team to make the arrangements about embreyo freezing. To be honest, I really would rather than worry about doing ivf, at the moment I just want my life with the beautiful son I have but everyone tells me I might regret it later. My response is that as long as there is a later I will have no regrets. This time between diagnosis and surgery is just horrible. I just keep reading my pathology reports and it just sounds so horrid. My love goes out to all us women going through this. I just want to be able to do normal things again without things again without this cloud over my head. Hugs and love to everyone xoxox
  • Cheryl D
    Cheryl D Member Posts: 125
    edited March 2015
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    Hi there sweetie,

    I hate that you finally had to join us but feel welcomed by our loving and forthright circle.

    Don't forget as women we have waited for crap forever, lol.

     You know you can and will do this as a woman you are born to be tough for your kis so scream, laugh, love, cry, shake, shut down and talk to us whenyou need or want, we are always here.