Who me ?

It's SO much easier than chemo. Seems to take only a few seconds. And the therapist yesterday told me that I shouldn't have too much trouble with my skin as it's smooth and there are no folds where the beams go. That's good.

I think Arimidex is keeping my tummy gurgling though. It hasn't really settled since chemo finished and I read that Arimidex can cause upsets. Great - 5 years before it's ordinary again. Oh well, it could be worse.

I have started to wrry again about metastises. Silly I know, but I'm really fretting about how I will know whether I have any. I spose it;s because a few poeple I know have died recently after a very short time and I'm just anxious.

How do you deal with that ? How do you know when a pain is just a pain, or when should you go and ask about it ? I do NOT want to spend my life having checkups and worrying myself for no reason, but I don't want to  find that something I thought was nothing turns about to be serious and too late. Oh crap, why isn't this getting easier.

magicmum

The call from the clinic came today to tell me my radiation starts next Monday. Means I will going through xmas but at leats it's starting and the next step on the recovery road begins. I also started Arimidex today. Had a bone density scan on Monday and it was excellent ! At least some piece of me is in good nick !

The effecets of chemo are gradually subsiding. I can taste again, that's a bonus in time for xmas. Tummy still hasn't settled back to normal but I guess that'll be slower. I'm feeling ok, ready for whatever radiation throws at me.

Watching every day to see if my hair is growing ! Haven't quite started to measure individual hairs but who knows :P

It's a bit of a bummer how your whole life revolves around doc's appts and tests and scans - takes over everything. Impossible to forget it even for a minute.

My husband lost a cousin the other night to an aggressive lung cancer. She only knew for about 2 months. He's quite subdued, I think he's more worried for me now than he was before.

I am NOT going to recur - I say that to myself as often as I can. It has to work doesn't it ?

Keep on keeping on girls

magicmum

The call from the clinic came today to tell me my radiation starts next Monday. Means I will going through xmas but at leats it's starting and the next step on the recovery road begins. I also started Arimidex today. Had a bone density scan on Monday and it was excellent ! At least some piece of me is in good nick !

The effecets of chemo are gradually subsiding. I can taste again, that's a bonus in time for xmas. Tummy still hasn't settled back to normal but I guess that'll be slower. I'm feeling ok, ready for whatever radiation throws at me.

Watching every day to see if my hair is growing ! Haven't quite started to measure individual hairs but who knows :P

It's a bit of a bummer how your whole life revolves around doc's appts and tests and scans - takes over everything. Impossible to forget it even for a minute.

My husband lost a cousin the other night to an aggressive lung cancer. She only knew for about 2 months. He's quite subdued, I think he's more worried for me now than he was before.

I am NOT going to recur - I say that to myself as often as I can. It has to work doesn't it ?

Keep on keeping on girls

magicmum

Thanks Dan - yes that's what my friend who is 8 years out tells me.

I'm in the REALLY LOW phase after chemo right now, so tired I can barely stand and wanting to eat but feeling sick at the same time. I know I only have another week of horrible and then it's all up from there. I can do the Herceptin and the radiation, I'm sure.

We'll be coming out of Herceptin about the same time, all the very best of good wishes to you for a successful time and NO recurrence.

Life will never be the same again.

magicmum

 

I hear ya sister! I'm at the end of chemo but still have herceptin until July next year. It's an awful shadow that will now follow us but as my friend who is 10 years cancer free says the further away you get from treatment the easier it is. So I just hold on to that thought and do everything I can to make my body a hostile cancer environment. Big hugs Dan

Chemo #6 - last one - coming up on Tuesday. A few weeks wait and then chemo.

Why am I not happy, excited ? No idea. So tired, so lacking in any motivation, don't want to do anything at all. Getting back to the early fears and worries about "what if". I don't know how to handle this right now. Lost all my courage, positivity. Is that just exhaustion ? Will it come back ?

I don't want to do this anymore.

magicmum

Doc appt today - my gated heart scan was good ! That's a relief. Bloods not so much - liver and kidney results not the best but nothing to worry about yet she tells me. Also anaemic. Have been advised to take magnesium as that is also very low.

Nothing to be done for the watery eyes - use drops if they're irritated. *sigh*

Anaemia will be contributing to the tiredness, that's all I needed.

Oh well , after tomorrow I will have only 1 left of the full chemo. Then finish out the year with Herceptin. I hope to be able to have my radiation done before xmas. Timeframe is tight but I'd LOVE to start 2012 with all that behind me.

Better get to bed although not sleeping well at the moment. How is that fair when you are SO tired !!

my best wishes to everyone on this trip.

magicmum

Does anyone else suffer from really watery eyes ? It's been like this for a week ormore now, driving me crazy. Blurry and just weeping. I read somewhere that it's Herceptin that does it - which is crap cos I'm on that for a whole year !

Any suggestions would be a help.

Feeling low today as well, you know, one of those down days where your whole positive attitude just goes down the gurgler. I've tried thinking "up" but I can't. Done nothing, just sat around watching telly.  Hope it goes tomorrow, I don'tike this at all.

magicmum

I've just had a turn at crap side effects after chemo no 4. My apologies to everyone who copes with this all the time, I've been spared before.

SOOOOO tired I could barely move, how is it possible when you tell your arm to lift that it doesn't ? Couldn't eat, drink, nauseous, heartburn. 4 days. Guessing this will be repeated after no 5 and no 6, yayy can hardly wait.

BUT I can't complain really as it's been so little. I can do it, I'll make it through.

I only have to read the blogs of others who are doing it way tougher than me. I salute you. I have NO idea where you get the strength.

magicmum

I can't shake the creepy thoughts today. My mind keeps on wondering how will I know if I have a brain tumour ? I'm doing so well it's silly really, except I know it's a possibility. Her2+ recurrence riskier and brain metastases are the ones to worry about cos Herceptin doesn't protect the brain.

Have to ask the doc next time, it's really doing my head in.

magicmum