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Susan_Schuback's avatar
Susan_Schuback
Member
14 years ago

One year on..........

Hey everyone,  I'ts been a while since I blogged on here so I thought I'd share my thoughts with you all.

I'ts nearly a year ago now on the 6-6-2011 since my diagnoses & I seem to be more nervous than ever before & anxiously thinking about bc more than I have been in the past several months.....

My next check up isn't until October so there's no scans I need to have although I think with TNBC it should however be manditory after that year is up seeings it seems to appear within the 1st or 2nd yr after the 1st dianosis but no nothing!  Even if it's just for my own peace of mind,  but then I think to myself that it's better if I live with the ignorance of the whole BC thing and just get on with life.  I don't know, I think once your told your ill it seems to be all you think about & it devours your self consciousnous & if allowed your soul as well.... so if you don't know anything about it, do you think we would get sick at all....I think it's rather like pointing the bone or cursing someone, if your belief is strong enough that by having that done to you your doomed...Thats my theory anyway ATM.    I'm going to the wellness centre 2 days before my aniverary for some reflexology which will be nice I think to take my mind off things for awhile.  Anyway thats whats on my mind & I hope you don't mind my sharing it with y'all...

Brightest Blessing )o(  Susan  xxx

6 Replies

  • Michelle_R's avatar
    Michelle_R
    Member
    14 years ago

    Hi Susan,

    October isn't too far off from your 12 month anniversary, but might seem forever if you are fretting or worrying.  Would it make you feel better to have your scans re-scheduled earlier, just for the peace of mind it would give you?

    Like Leonie, I try to push down the anxiety by keeping busy.  The more I read about TNBC the worse I feel, so have stopped reading about it!  I hope you enjoy your visit to the wellness centre, and hey - Congratulations on your Anniversary!!

    love and hugs,

    Michelle xx

  • Michelle_R's avatar
    Michelle_R
    Member
    14 years ago

    Hi Susan,

    October isn't too far off from your 12 month anniversary, but might seem forever if you are fretting or worrying.  Would it make you feel better to have your scans re-scheduled earlier, just for the peace of mind it would give you?

    Like Leonie, I try to push down the anxiety by keeping busy.  The more I read about TNBC the worse I feel, so have stopped reading about it!  I hope you enjoy your visit to the wellness centre, and hey - Congratulations on your Anniversary!!

    love and hugs,

    Michelle xx

  • Leonie_Moore's avatar
    Leonie_Moore
    Member
    14 years ago

    The anxiety nevery goes away - YOU ARE NORMAL.  I think that I am a really strong woman (have been through lots of things in my life) but I still feel anzious most of the time.  I try and keep really busy but it is still there.  Sometimes when I am being realistic I think that I am in denial most of the time in order to survive.  My family think I am now free of BC even though I have secondaries - I know it is their way of dealing with it.  Big help to me NOT.  Anyway I try not to talk about it much and get my support through other women "doing the same track".  In actual fact, even though I am still busy moving house and preparing our old home for sale, I am going to apply for a part time job.  This will satisfy a few areas in my life if I get this job.  (As if I am not busy enough)  My friend who is very ill keeps being extremely busy in her life.  I know what she is doing - I am going to be devastated when she is not by my side so I think it is time for me to "wean" myself from her by getting a job.  I have always been quite "knowing" and I think this is the "right" thing for me to do at this time.  All you can do Susan is what feels right for you.  It is such a scarey disease.  Then on the other side of things I rejoice in seeing ladies who have been free from bc for years. Take care dear pink sister. XLeonie

  • SoniaWhite48's avatar
    SoniaWhite48
    Member
    14 years ago
    Hi Susan, It is amazing how much can happen in a year. You seem to have a positive handle on your BC journey this last year. Congratulations. I hope everything turns out well in October. The wellness centre sounds amazing as does the reflexology. Stay positive lovely lady. My initial diagnosis was in April last year, and after a year of mastectomy, axiliary clearance, chemo, radiation and Herceptin, I was diagnosed with a secondary tumour in the brain. It is uncanny, how this diagnosis was exactly one year following my initial diagnosis! You have to laugh, I do! I am on Twitter (@SoniaWhite48) and tweeting everyday about the parallel between last year (#mylifeayearago) and this year (#mylifethisday). I hope this helps others out there with their journey. Best wishes for the next year. Sonia :-)
  • Al's avatar
    Al
    Member
    14 years ago

    What you have just decribed is how a lot of us feel. You are not alone. In my spare moments I think of my BC journey alot. That's why I like working because it keeps my mind off things. I think about my diagnosis everyday and wonder how lucky I am. Keep smiling and stay positive is my motto. Some days are better than others. I feel for you having to wait until October. I had my follow up with my surgeon last month and mammogram - my anniversary is 26th of this month. I'm still having herceptin so am in contact with my oncologist every 3 weeks until October but I know what you mean. My next surgeon's appointment is next year! It is life changing but I know I couldn't have got through without you and other wonderful ladies on this site. I think the anxiety will always be with us but we all find ways to manage this.

    Stay positive dear lady and keep blogging away.  Thinking of you always...

    Take care,

    Love Alison xxx

  • Al's avatar
    Al
    Member
    14 years ago

    What you have just decribed is how a lot of us feel. You are not alone. In my spare moments I think of my BC journey alot. That's why I like working because it keeps my mind off things. I think about my diagnosis everyday and wonder how lucky I am. Keep smiling and stay positive is my motto. Some days are better than others. I feel for you having to wait until October. I had my follow up with my surgeon last month and mammogram - my anniversary is 26th of this month. I'm still having herceptin so am in contact with my oncologist every 3 weeks until October but I know what you mean. My next surgeon's appointment is next year! It is life changing but I know I couldn't have got through without you and other wonderful ladies on this site. I think the anxiety will always be with us but we all find ways to manage this.

    Stay positive dear lady and keep blogging away.  Thinking of you always...

    Take care,

    Love Alison xxx