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Suzf's avatar
Suzf
Member
14 years ago

Depression and anxiety

I have finally come to the realisation that my subconscious is an uncontrollable beast that has been torturing me for the last 6 months.  No amount of logic, reasoning or counselling  seems to be able to control the nightmares that wake me regularly.  

 

I now accept that my subconscious will work through every possible scenario whether I know the possibilities or not in my conscious mind. I have a very creative and colourful primeaval mind that is so real to me as if I am living the things I am working through in full colour, other languages and time frames - sometimes so scary I have to write or paint the scene to put it to rest as I awake having a full on panic attack where my body reacts physically to the thought patterns in my mind.

 

I have tried counselling and various therapies such as mindfulness etc. but the best thing seems to be either distraction or commiting my thoughts either to paper in writing or painting. This can be very painful and very confronting but eventually works for me.  There seems to be no easy fix however anti-depressives do help to some degree.

Does anyone had any other ways of coping?  I have been told it is quite normal to have this reaction but that is no consolation without some way of coping that works well.

It would be great to hear from others who have had this problem and how they have takled it, Suz.

2 Replies

  • Suzf's avatar
    Suzf
    Member
    14 years ago

    Thank you for your words of encouragement Lynda, I have tried all the above and have now found anti-depressants are working for me and allow me to return to sleep when I wake and keep me on track during the day.  My next round of follow ups are coming up next month and that will stir things up again.

     I joined an Encore exercise group and tomorrow we are going sailing so hopefully the weather will hold not that I get seasick but it is very pleasant on the water when it is not tooo sloppy.

    I hope all is going well for you,

    Cheers, 

    Suz xx

  • Suzf's avatar
    Suzf
    Member
    14 years ago

    Yes Herb lady I use 'being in the moment' and 'keeping busy' every day and I have tools I can use that help when I wake having those panic attacks.  

    I expected I would be over the terrifying nightmares and dreams that come from the subconscious but that really hasn't happened and apparently I may never be completely rid of them.  I am learning to accept that and consider them as a natural part of my healing process.  

    I found I also needed to socialise with positive people because I would go into depression otherwise just listening to negative attitudes.  Logically I am able to understand the fear of recurrence and perhaps it is good to be prepared.  I believe I was rather innocent thinking I would be able to cope much bettere than I am.

    Still I can acknowledge my problems and work on them.