Sadly, Wendy55 passed away on March 3rd, 2024
arpie
Member Posts: 8,122 ✭
I have just heard the sad news from Wendy55's partner, Ron, that Wendy passed away on March 3rd, 2024. He asked me to thank everyone for their friendship and contact with Wendy over the years. xx
She was first diagnosed with Breast Cancer 11 years ago - and had the most amazing Oncologist who fought for her all the way - she was on many new tests and trials with many good outcomes. Most Oncs will only give you 2-3 'lines of treatment' ... Wendy's Onc gave her 10 or 11. She was on many trials & tests & given meds on compassionate grounds .... but late last year, things started getting really tough.
It was Wendy's wish that her friends on BCNA be advised of her passing.
She wanted the Dragonfly Motif to grace her name.
Wendy was just the most amazing, uplifting, wise, wonderful woman - so tolerant of the treatment she was going thru - yet wiling to share SO MUCH of her story with all of us.
Wendy had been the beacon for so many members here (particularly those with Mets) and was so supportive of everyone else, even when she was feeling so crook herself, particularly in the last 6 months of her life.
She was incredibly supportive of me, when my beloved husband was diagnosed with Mets in 2020 and passed away in May 2022 .... for which I will forever be grateful.
They really could write a book about her Breast Cancer story - as she never stopped fighting.
Vale Wendy - Rest in Peace my friend. Fly high xx
I have advised my siblings that I, too, want members to know of my demise and the dragonfly attached to my profile, when the time comes. They will email BCNA when appropriate.
She was first diagnosed with Breast Cancer 11 years ago - and had the most amazing Oncologist who fought for her all the way - she was on many new tests and trials with many good outcomes. Most Oncs will only give you 2-3 'lines of treatment' ... Wendy's Onc gave her 10 or 11. She was on many trials & tests & given meds on compassionate grounds .... but late last year, things started getting really tough.
It was Wendy's wish that her friends on BCNA be advised of her passing.
She wanted the Dragonfly Motif to grace her name.
Wendy was just the most amazing, uplifting, wise, wonderful woman - so tolerant of the treatment she was going thru - yet wiling to share SO MUCH of her story with all of us.
Wendy had been the beacon for so many members here (particularly those with Mets) and was so supportive of everyone else, even when she was feeling so crook herself, particularly in the last 6 months of her life.
She was incredibly supportive of me, when my beloved husband was diagnosed with Mets in 2020 and passed away in May 2022 .... for which I will forever be grateful.
They really could write a book about her Breast Cancer story - as she never stopped fighting.
Vale Wendy - Rest in Peace my friend. Fly high xx
I have advised my siblings that I, too, want members to know of my demise and the dragonfly attached to my profile, when the time comes. They will email BCNA when appropriate.
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Comments
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Thank you @arpie for letting us know. I asked about Wendy55 recently and suspected she wasn't well sometime ago.
It is a shame members aren't recognised with the dragonfly. I know I would want to be.
People with mets continue to say we aren't visible and a little thing like a dragonfly is small recognition.
Wendy55 was wonderful support to so many in this network, including me and I so appreciated her thoughtfulness and wisdom.
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@arpie, Please thank Ron for letting us know. It is very sad news and it does stop us all wondering about her. I hope her family are coping and see her in the clouds, watching down on them. Her spirit is flying free.
I recently asked BCNA about the dragonfly symbol disappearing but apparently privacy comes into it. Hopefully they will reach out to Ron for any required approval and she will get her wish to be recognised in this way.2 -
Thanks @arpie
Wendy truly was an inspiration to us all , especially those with a Mets diagnosis.
I always though the dragonfly motif to indicate those members who had passed on was a good idea and in terms of privacy issues I would have thought BCNA could contact the members of the online network to seek their approval ( or otherwise) to the use of the motif if they pass on.
For myself I would like it to be on my profile should I pass on as a result of this disease.
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@arpie thankyou for letting us know. That is very sad news. I personally would like to see the dragonfly icon against someone's name who has passed. It's a gentle way of giving respect to members who have contributed to the forum. All members should be asked if they would like the icon against their name when they pass. I understand everyone may not want it, but please ask us members what we would like. I would want it against my name. I have asked my family to advise bcna.
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@arpie, @Locksley and @Julez1958 seems several of us would like to be recognised if we pass from this disease and me included.
This organisation only exists because of our disease and we should be able to have a dragonfly if we one. @Mez_BCNA this really should be put forward again. Things change and ad someone with mets, I feel very strongly about this.
This feedback from us here needs to included in the current survey and escalated. Please also escalate my previous feedback about listing members of the mets group by active first instead of by joining group date.4 -
Absolutely, @Cath62 - I actually believe there should be 2 x 'click options' within our profile that we can change at any time to:
1) permission to advise members of our demise once BCNA is made aware of it by a family member
2) Add Dragonfly to our profile as a sign of respect
Initially I thought maybe a question when registering with BCNA - as at that point, the new member doesn't have a relationship with the group & would be unlikely to tick 'yes' ...
Wendy55 was also very concerned about inactive members, particularly in the Mets Private Group - it should be a simple change, to show members from 'joined most recently' rather than as is showing now ...
Checking on inactive members could be something as simple as the Mods sending an email out to those who've been inactive for a year or so - 'just checking on how you are going' ..... and hopefully they would reply - or else a family member may reply, advising that the member had passed away. xx
Many of us have ongoing 'offline' contact with members who have become very good friends & we also socialise and holiday together - many of us have exchanged email & phone numbers, so that we can keep in touch when offline .... and we support each other thru good times & bad.
And having the Dragonfly added to passed member's profiles - shows that WE CARE!
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I felt so upset when a friend had passed from this disease and it took me two months before finding out. Chasing someone up for months only to find out they have died is extremely cruel. Bring back the dragonfly.4
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Ditto @Blossom1961
Why the Dragonfly was discontinued without consultation is beyond me. Obviously those 'in charge' have no understanding of how we feel about each other.3 -
The way I see it is that members who become metastatic should be asked about this or members should be asked on joining what their wishes are.
BCNA only exist because we do and their survival is related only to us. So if they stop meeting members needs, they will lose funding if members aren't joining or they leave.
My point is that they should therefore give us the dragonfly and other simple things we require from them.
The current survey is an opportunity but for staff who read this thread please look at this issue. Actually any issues raised from us here should always be considered, escalated and responded to. That would be service.
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Sending compassion and kindness to all of those who are friends of Wendy. Very saddened to hear of her passing and hope you all connect with and support each other during this time.
We don't want to take away from purpose of this discussion in honouring Wendy and will keep this next part brief. We do not want to ignore the conversations around the Dragonfly and the legacy process, we encourage you to please voice this feedback in the survey (Refer to post Have your say on the Online Network )
Take care and reflect on the wonderful connections you have had with your friend Wendy.
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Dear @arpie thank you very much for letting us know about @wendy55
@wendy55 posted some caring lovey supportive posts
on a personal note, I’m in the mets group but I don’t like the dragonfly motif and have had a discussion around this with @Mez_BCNA - it should be an option to opt for or not
best wishes to everyone xx
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