Newly diagnosed with triple negative.

Hatter74

Hi everyone,

Wish I wasn't here but glad I'm not alone. I'm 49yo and diagnosed yesterday with triple negative invasive ductal cancer with lymph node involvement. I had positive biopsies last week but got the full breakdown when I met with my surgeon yesterday.

I had all my scans this afternoon and now I wait I guess until I get a call. I believe I've already been referred to an oncologist and there is a rough plan in place. To be confirmed at their multidisciplinary meeting presumably.

I haven't told my daughters yet. My youngest turns 11 in 2 days, so I might hold off a little. I'm a single parent sole trader so life is about to get really hard and the feelings of overwhelm and terror are close by at all times.

What a journey to embark on 😳 Wishing you all the best travelling through it.

Karen xo

Blossom1961

@Hatter74 Welcome to the best support around. The ladies (and occasionally men) all understand the unchosen journey you are embarking on. Waiting to tell your daughters is wise until you know what the plan is going to look like. I am not triple negative but many of the ladies on here are so hopefully they will hop on to give you some ideas. The forum does have some quiet periods due to appointments, work schedules and just plain 'over it' blah days.

Try to keep your mind busy with other things. I know, easier said than done. Get some meals cooked and frozen in preparation of your treatment for those days you don't feel like cooking. As a sole trader you will know the importance of being prepared. Make sure everything in your business is up to date so you will only have to cope with the now not the past.

Accept any help you are offered. Now is the time to let your pride loosen a little. If your daughters need driving anywhere, see if someone else can do that for you. There are some great supports for children of people diagnosed with cancer but I am not the person to advise on that one. Other ladies with young children will be able to help there. Also, if you have a McGrath breast care nurse they have info on that. If you don't have a breast care nurse, ring the hospital and ask for the number.

Take care and big deep breaths. You got this. Sending big hugs

arpie

So sorry to see you here @Hatter74 .... joining our exclusive little club.   

@Blossom1961 has given you some excellent advice - I would just add to consider joining the Triple Negative Private Group here (https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/group/30-triple-negative-breast-cancer-tnbc) where you'll be able to engage with others who have the same diagnosis & get some insight into what treatment they are having - they may be able to load you up with questions for your surgeon & Onc xx.

Consider recording your appointments so you can go over them later on - it is difficult to remember all that is said! Also, take a trusted family member or friend with you, as a 2nd set of ears & also for physical & mental support xx

Enjoy your daughter's birthday - I hope it goes well xx

Try & keep as busy as you are able whilst you are waiting for your surgery & treatment plan ..... maybe cook up & freeze some meals in readiness, so you have stuff ready for when you get home xx. 

You may also like to join the Young Women's group - they may have suggestions on ways of letting your kids know without scaring them xx ..... There are also various organisations (like Canteen and Red Kite and Camp Quality) where they give kids (who's parent may have cancer) the chance to meet up with other kids in the same boat & just have fun.  Your hospital Social Worker should be able to point you to local organisations who may be able to help too.  Your Breast Care Nurse may also be able to point you to relevant organisations, too. xx

take care, take one day at a time ... try not to get too far ahead of yourself re the treatment & side effects - all going well, you won't have any xx