Mum with young children-how do you cope?

flick88 Member Posts: 2
I’m 35 and was diagnosed with a 22mm IDC last month and DCIS, booked in for mastectomy in 10 days. I found my lump while breastfeeding, I have a one year old and a four year old, this diagnosis flipped my life upside down. Still dealing with crippling anxiety, every time I look at my kids or try to spend any quality time with them my fear of not being around for them comes up and I start crying. The sadness and crying is worse at night.

Please share some coping mechanisms. I started tamoxifen and zoladex mid Feb so I don’t know if the emotions are also exacerbated by those.


  • Aska
    Aska Member Posts: 67
    Hi @flick88
    There's nothing easy about what we go through.  Try fitting in a walk every day,  not easy to do with little kids,  but draw on any support you have available.  That's what got me through my lowest times.  Sometimes I could only manage 900m, others 6km. Keep fighting,  you can do this!
  • Mez_BCNA
    Mez_BCNA Administrator, Staff, Member, Moderator Posts: 901
    Hi @flick88

    You will receive wonderful support here through the Online Network community as observed in Aska's response. In the meantime I thought some of the BCNA resources may support you during this time:

    Breast cancer in young women (BCNA Website).

    Early breast cancer information for young women (My Journey)

    Podcast: Young women and breast cancer (Ruth)

    Coping with emotions after an early breast cancer diagnosis (My Journey)

    Mindfulness and breast cancer (My Journey)

    You may also like to connect with ‘Mummy’s Wish’:

    Mummy’s Wish has supported more than 7000 families since 2007. They currently support 1000 of the 5000 mums diagnosed with cancer who have children under 13 every year.

    In March 2024, Mummy’s Wish became a program of Rare Cancers Australia (ABN 24 159 196 997). Find out more about their impact here.

  • MrsMorrisey
    MrsMorrisey Member Posts: 78
    You poor thing. You must feel awful. 
    Your cancer will be sorted and the chances are you will get through it eventually. 

    Get lots of help with your kids if possible 
    And don’t feel guilty! 
    The drugs would definitely be contributing to you feeling everything so hard. 
    It’s awful but you’re not alone ❤️
  • Afraser
    Afraser Member Posts: 4,388
    While I can appreciate you are juggling so
    many things, don’t lose sight of some professional treatment for your feelings and emotions . There’s so much going on about the body, it’s easy to overlook the confusion and doubt that can afflict anyone facing an unexpected, and potentially serious, illness. Time spent with a good counsellor may be an investment. It’s not weakness to get some guidance and coping mechanisms, it’s good commonsense. This is unknown territory and a few compass directions are helpful. Best wishes.