Feeling let down by friends

Hello @christine_m, you are not alone in your thoughts as this happens sometimes, we find out who our friends are.  Sometimes it is as simple as them not knowing what to say or do and often we need to guide them by asking for the support we need.
Partners are often in the same boat as that or they drop their bundle as they cannot fix things for you.
Try not to think about it too much as that just makes you feel worse.  It is very disappointing to say the least but you have to accept that and move past it the best way you can.
Have you actually said anything to any of them ?  Maybe as you have helped them before they think you are vey strong and don't need help.
Perhaps ask your GP for a referral to a counsellor so you can talk about it ?
Above all, remember this is on them, it is not you.
All the best.  Sending a cyber hug.  💖

@christine_m You are certainly not alone. I lost a few 'friends' who were only interested in me getting better so that I could help them again. But they were not willing to do anything for me. I moved on and have a much better circle of friends who care for me as much as I care for them. My hubby was a rock but many partners just go into their own spaces as they cannot cope. 

@christine_m you may also find our podcast on this very topic of interest:

The showing up and the letting down: surprises and disappointments in relationships

Sorry to see you here.   Unfortunately it does happen.  I lost a few friends along the way, but I also found some new friends that I treasure.   

Ask your gp for a referral for a counsellor.   Then if you feel you need it you won't have to wait for a referral.   Wishing you all the best.

I imagine it can be very hard if you feel
isolated and without support but it’s true that many people have no idea what to say or do, so don’t. They don’t say anything, do anything, steer clear. And in that situation it can be very hard also to ask. But before you give your friends up as a bad job, it’s worth a try. Ask for something clear and direct that doesn’t need interpretation, pick up shopping, mow a lawn, offer a lift. 

And time with a really good counsellor is time well spent. Almost everyone diagnosed with cancer will experience some anxiety, sense of loss, fears about mortality. Even if friends or loved ones are willing to talk, they are often too close or too uncomfortable about those topics themselves to help much. As @June1952 mentioned, your GP can help with a referral. Best wishes.

hi @christine_m

@christine_m, 
You’ll find who your true friends are during this journey. Interestingly, some of my close friends have disappeared but acquaintances have become my good friends, bringing me food and asking what else they can do for me. So you are not alone in discovering this.
My hubby is an excellent support but he doesn’t get what I am going through, he has been cooking, housework etc. He wants me to see the light but not the tunnel which is challenging for me as I am going through chemo currently ( with side effects). I have been trying to get him to understand (I have a fabulous GP who has been guiding me on how to communicate with him so the idea of a counsellor like what the ladies have suggested may be a good idea)

Thanks guys ❤️ it has just been a hard year. Husband left because he couldn't handle the whole “no breast thing”. And not 1 of my friends came to help with my 3 year old or came past with a meal, some didnt even go past texting. I know no one is obligated to do anything but i cant help but be angry about it.
Now that the roughest times are past they call and want to “catch up”. I guess im still bitter and i was feeling alone. But thank you to each one of you that replied with advice & support, means more than you know. 

Sounds awful, but don’t discard the ones who want to catch up.  They were embarrassed, and didn’t know how to approach you.   Now they feel able to support you.