Newly diagnosed, now waiting, doesn’t feel real
Hi, following a routine breastscreen mammogram, got a call back and now find myself with multi focal breast cancer in my left breast. After the initial shock, got on with CT Scans and met with surgeon this week and have the start of a treatment plan, starting with mastectomy, however that’s not scheduled until 10th October. I’ve stopped taking HRT (had only been on it a year) and my night sweats and hot flushes have come back with vengeance so sleeping is a bit of an issue. But having initially been almost numb with the shock and then having a short period of high focus, I’m now finding myself acting like it’s not happening. The last two days I’ve been working like I’ve got to an important deadline to meet (which I don’t) and ending the day absolutely shattered and going back to old habits like not eating well and cancelling the gym. When my husband told me to stop because I had to look after myself better I could hear what he was saying and I knew he was right but it felt like the words were just washing over me, as if I was just in some sort of dream. Even when I tell people at the moment, I feel like I’m not talking about me, but maybe someone I’m related to or a work project. I feel quite disconnected to what’s happening. How do I make myself wake up so I’m best prepared for what’s about to happen?
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