Trying to absorb the shock and fear

M_Cooper Member Posts: 9
edited September 2023 in Newly diagnosed
Hi 👋 

I’m not sure how you introduce yourself to new friends under these circumstances. 

Boy this happens fast. From lump, to scan, to FNA, to biopsy, mammogram, MRI and blood work last Thursday to today being told at 46, fit triathlete non-smoker etc blah blah blah that I have grade 3 triple negative breast cancer. It’s small and I caught it early but on Monday it’s getting clipped and then straight to chemo. 

I’ve turned my life upside down - was due to be on a plane to Spain on Friday for 3 weeks of work, racing and vacation. Nope. 

Now, I’m trying to work out where to start. This diagnosis seems like the worst possible option but I’m sure I’m just being selfish and catastrophising. 

I’m here to learn, absorb as much as I can and contribute where possible. 


  • Edithead
    Edithead Member Posts: 12
  • GinGin
    GinGin Member Posts: 147
    @Michellecooper, sorry to see you joining this special club where no one want to find themselves in.

     What you are going through is normal.

     In my case, even when my biopsy results stated cancer, my hubby was still in denial about my breast cancer diagnosis. My GP had to literally ‘slapped’ him. 
    Our life has definitely changed, I quit my corporate job so we can travel for two years and transition to retirement. Then this happened and now my life literally revolves around the cancer (no joke), surgery, physio and starting chemo soon. But looking ahead in 7 months time, hopefully my life will be back to ‘normal’ or new normal…

    I have found this online network very supportive and friends here get what I am going through + have also been able to provide valuable insights when I am unsure what to do.

    if you have any questions, feel free to ask, there’s usually someone who has been through the journey and can share their experiences.


  • Tarma
    Tarma Member Posts: 73
    A Big warm Welcome 💌

    Life is spinning out of control right now but I know being a part of  this group of beautiful women will be a great source of information, they will lift youre spirits but most of all, if you're like me, they will remind you you're not alone, there's support here, real, honest and caring.. 

    Take good care of yourself 


  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 7,804
    I am SO sorry to see you here @Michellecooper .....  and it absolutely SUCKS that you've had to cancel your trip to Spain for fun & racing .... my husband was a multi age-group Tri World champion, also struck down with cancer ... but after losing most of his stomach to the cancer - he got back into training & competing just 6 months after his chemo finished & won 5 more World Champ medals over the next 10 years (the only stomach amputee to do so, I believe) ..... so don't write yourself off getting back to full on competition again xx. (A buddy has just taken out Silver in Finland in late August in the 75-79 age bracket 1/2 Ironman World Champs ... )

    I fully understand how it is SO unfair & a total shock, when you are so fit & eating all the right things & doing the right things & otherwise 'healthy' .... this diagnosis mucks with your BRAIN even more than it mucks with your body :(  And yep - it totally turns your life around in an instant.

    Feel free to join the TNBC 'private group' - where you can raise ANY question/issue about your diagnosis & treatment in total privacy .....

    Check out this post too, for a bit more info on the forum & 'other things' you may like to check out (and even have a bit of a laugh, as we ALL need a laugh now & then!)

    take care & all the best 
  • PrisMay1
    PrisMay1 Member Posts: 70
    I hear you @Michellecooper! I too had to cancel a trip to the UK recently because of this damn thing! I went for a routine mammogram - which I do in May every year. Just happened to be a month before our trip! They found a cancer this time after 17 years cancer free and my world fell apart! Yes it does happen quickly and I feel you get little time to make a decision! Don’t feel bad about the way you feel - it is a catastrophe! But you will get through it! I’m still really angry that the plans I had made for this time have had to be cancelled but now that I’m on the mend I’m making time to rebook our trip and focus on the future. I wish you well. 
  • Abbydog
    Abbydog Member Posts: 492
    That is a shock. I'm sorry for your diagnosis. you will get through this.
    My diagnosis from finding my own lump to Mastectomy was 10 days.
    I was supposed to holiday in Japan. And Covid started then also, in 2020.
    But I truly felt lucky that I had found it. I had had a mammogram only 9mths before.
    My BC was stage 2, grade 3( this meant fast growing) Mine was oestrogen sensitive.
    There is a TNC group on this site, that may be able to give you more specific information.

  • Afraser
    Afraser Member Posts: 4,392
    Hi @Michellecooper

    'Small' and 'caught early' are good words, in the scheme of things. Not having cancer would undoubtedly be better but much as we are all shocked at the beginning, this disease is sadly not at all uncommon.  

    This part of your life may be turned upside down, but cancer isn't all of your life - it's been good before and it can be good again, but you have to take a bit of an unwanted detour. Everyone finds their own way (sometimes slowly) to come to terms with the present - some take time out to reflect, some keep really occupied, but through the general business of treatment, the adjustments about your sense of your body and the sometimes bizarrely funny/ironic side of it all, it's quite possible to come out the other end a bit battered and older, but wiser and more considered about who you are and what you want. I got really annoyed when a pathologist referred to my 'adventure', but later I saw his point. Some adventures are scary and not pleasant at the time, but they often have positive end results, shape our resolve and directions and we can look back at them as learning experiences of a valuable kind. I found writing down my feelings and experiences useful. Best wishes. 
  • M_Cooper
    M_Cooper Member Posts: 9
    thank you thank you thank you. Those are great words of advice! I’m beginning to feel more informed and pragmatic about it. As you said, a good chance to find out what’s important to me.