Welcome New Members - 28th January 2022

Mez_BCNA Administrator, Staff, Member, Moderator Posts: 901
edited February 2022 in General discussion

You have found your way to Breast Cancer Network Australia’s (BCNA’s) Online Network. This is a forum where you are not alone and can engage with generous members who provide meaningful support to each other. You can share as much or as little as you feel comfortable with to other members. Please explore our various Groups for members who are looking for greater peer-to-peer support.  

Th following links may also be helpful in getting you started:  

Our long-time members (newbies too!) are a wealth of information regarding the useful discussion topics and information available through BCNA’s Online Network, therefore please do not hesitate to post your questions.  You have the option to add details about yourself to your ‘profile’ and if you would like more targeted member responses, you may like to add where you live ( eg. Sydney, Melbourne, regional Victoria etc).  

If you need help navigating the Online Network please message myself @Mez_BCNA or one of our other moderators @Jenny_BCNA @Carissa_BCNA @Pat_BCNA @MichelleP_BCNA @Anna_BCNA @Kate_BCNA . 

Please note: The online network is not moderated by staff/volunteers on Sundays, however if you need something actioned the quickest way to resolve your query is to contact the Member Support Team via email contact@bcna.org.au or phone 1800 500 258 Monday to Friday 9 am - 5 pm AEST.


  • AaryBee
    AaryBee Member Posts: 2
    Hi Everyone. I am Aaron and my wife, Bianca 37yo was diagnosed with Breast Cancer last week. I have spent the last week feeling incredibly sad and scared. I adore Bianca so much and love everything about her. She is a naturally positive and very strong woman. This was a quality that drew me to her when I started dating her. She is much stronger than I am. I am so worried about all of the unknowns and uncertainties. I cannot imagine life without her in it. She brings me so much joy and happiness.
    She has HER2+ Breast Cancer which is Aggressive. It is a multi-focal cancer in her left breast. The largest tumour is 2.5cm. The few others are about 1cm. We know from biopsy that there is spread into the lymph node. She had a PET Scan yesterday which will shed light on the amount of LN involvement. I cannot even fathom that it has gone anywhere else.
    The doctor has conducted an oral/physical examination and tentatively noted early lymph node involvment and I am clinging on to those words. She said that Bianca's cancer is very treatable however there is a high risk of recurrance. I am struggling with this bit so much. I can support my wife through all of her treatment, and I can be there for her for all of that, but I am struggling to deal with the uncertainty. I want my wife treated and then cured and then I want to live with her until were old. 
    I thank you for taking the time to read my post and please know that typing this does help me. I am surrounded by my wife and living friends and familiy and am well supported. 
    Thank you. Aaron  
  • Locksley
    Locksley Member Posts: 938
    @AaryBee Dear Aaron that is so loving of you to reach out as partners need support too. 

      I am sorry Bianca has joined the club no one wants to join.   The information from the doctors all at once is overwhelming.   It's is good she has a plan.  My breast cancer was also HER2+.    It is very treatable and doable and that is wonderful you are so supportive.   Does Bianca have a breast care nurse as yet.  There is a young women's group on here she can join if she would like to.   @Mez_BCNA can you please assist with joining this group.

    There will be members who have more suggestions with links etc to help you.  Do seek a chat from a counsellor if you need too.   Sending you both hugs.   Xxx
  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 7,668
    edited January 2022
    Well done, Aaron @AaryBee for reaching out on behalf of your lovely wife.  You will both still be suffering shock from Bianca's diagnosis and the unknowns & uncertainties & emotions that go with it.   
    You are in the right spot for support and information from those who've gone before ...... That is terrific that you have supportive family & friends.  Lean on them - they will want to help you both.

    Some great info from @Locksley already xx

    Wishing you both all the best with the PET scan results xx.  Bianca's medical team will be working on the best plan for her treatment xx

    Here is a fairly recent post on members who are triple positive who may be able to  help you .... to read up on .... 

    Has anyone on the Medical Team mentioned immunotherapy treatment? Herceptin is used with Her2 Positive & there may be other treatments that have been approved, as trials & advancement in treatments are happening all the time.  The USA are doing trials using Keytruda too (currently used in Australia on Melanomas and Lung Cancers.) Hopefully Australia starts trialling it sometime soon too.

    take care xx

    @Mez_BCNA - could Aaron's post also be moved to its own Thread for more dedicated support from members?

  • Cath62
    Cath62 Member Posts: 1,311
    Hi @AaryBee, Aaron what a wonderful supportive husband you are. I had a different cancer to your wife but it was aggressive and a high return rate. I am ok. I got through treatment pretty well really. I even amazed myself. I am due my second mammogram since treatment so I am 2 years down. 

     It was scary at the time and scary for my supportive husband. My husband is a champion and cared for me so well. It's early days but may I suggest that you also look after yourself too as your lovely wife goes through this. We can all give you lots of advice for your wife and we are happy to share experiences with you but to help your wife you It's good to look after you too.

    My hubby was stressed and while he initially tried to hide it, I encouraged him to talk about all that fear. He did but initially didn't want to because he felt he should not upset me. It was better we both talked everything through. If you need to see anyone to talk about it all please don't hesitate to get that help. 

    The other thing my husband did during my treatment was once a fortnight he would take off for a day fishing. That was his time out from it all. He just need that to rejuvenate and come back to help me. Not that you have to go fishing but time with a mate or sport or whatever it is you enjoy can help you through this time too. 

    Best wishes to you and your wife 💐
  • Carissa_BCNA
    Carissa_BCNA Administrator, Staff, Member, Moderator Posts: 252
    Hi @AaryBee

    I've just sent you a private message. 
  • Mez_BCNA
    Mez_BCNA Administrator, Staff, Member, Moderator Posts: 901
    Hi @AaryBee, so glad you have already found wonderful support from other members here. I have also created your own discussion thread https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/24210/supporting-wife-diagnosed-with-her-breast-cancer/p1?new=1

    Please reach out to the member support team 1800 500 258 if we can support you any further.