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Being Alone is not good

missteamisstea Adelaide, South AustraliaMember Posts: 3
Hi Members
I have been dignose May 2021 Invasive breat cancer, Multifocal and Type ER positive PR Positive. Aged 50 years old.
As I am a public patient, I saw the breast surgeon twice.  The information that I received was too muched too hear and this has affected my mental health. The fact was, the surgeon said,  "if you dont do this them you will died". I was not given a choice. They are doing their jobs but I wish they were more considered towards me as I have other diseases in my body. From the catscan they have found that I have mild cirrhosis. Another bad luck that I have to deal with. I am not having a good time with accepting my cancer and other complex issues. I have not started treatment because I have decided to get a mental health care plan from my GP so that later in the near future I can get councelling. I have booked an appointment to see a different breast Doctor to discuss my case.
My family are overseas and interstate. My only first born adult has left me and living elsewhere. I do have some (not many) work mates that I can ring for a chat. Basically I feel ALONE in my journey.
I raised my first born alone single mum. the father lives overseas and I lived alone. BEING ALONE IS NOT GOOD.
A Question
Anyone got any links or information from non profit organisation or community websites for Women like me living isolated with cancer  loneliness and grieve is a strange feeling to have. Thank you for reading my story. XXX

Comments

  • June1952June1952 Member Posts: 1,200
    Hello @misstea.  Welcome to this club none of us ever wanted or thought we'd need to join.  There are many ladies on here who will be keen to help you.
    Perhaps if you put your approximate location in your profile (it will appear next to your name) you will get more precise information close to you.
    All the best.  Sending you a big cyber hug.  💖
  • MicheleRMicheleR South AustraliaMember Posts: 301
    Hi @misstea,

    Sorry you are having a hard time. Im in adelaide too. There is a facebook support group for adelaide breast cancer patients and they sometimes have get togethers. Ive just joined it. There are lot of women in this group (over 700) and this may help. 

    Where are you getting treated? 

    I am 49 and finished active treatment in March. I had a mastectomy, chemo and radiotherapy. It is hard and yes unfortunately it can be lonely even if you have people around you. I think it helps to be connected with others in a similar situation.

    Ive just got a mental health plan now - you are ahead of the game in that respect.

    The feelings of overwhelm and confusion are normal and not pleasant.

    I will get you face book group name.

    Hugs to you. 
    Michele
  • MicheleRMicheleR South AustraliaMember Posts: 301
    Group is "Adelaide Breast Cancer Friendship Group Chat Room". 

    Make a request to join. Very supportive group of people at all stages of treatment or survivorship
  • missteamisstea Adelaide, South AustraliaMember Posts: 3
    Hi Michele
    Thank you for sharing with me about the face book group.  I will look into it. I have not decided yet about treatment and have not started. I need time to get my head around this nightmare that eventually I have to faced. 
    I am in the north. 
    XXX
  • MicheleRMicheleR South AustraliaMember Posts: 301
    Hi @misstea,

    Im in the south. You can message me if you like. Click on my profile and there is a message icon. 

    It is a lot to deal with. Some doctors are a bit blunt at times. I think they want to help but stats etc can be very overwhelming. 

    Do you know what treatment they want you to have? You dont say how big the cancer is.

    There is a bcna virtual conference about treatment options and how to decipher on july 15. You could sign up for that. Those conferences are really good. One of the drs they often have has had breast cancer and understands the emotions around it. Also they have survivors and nurses who have different perspectives.

    If you look at the mcgrath foundation they list out breast cancer nurses in your area and you can send an email and an they will respond to you. The cancer council has nurses too. They rang me one day and it was exactly what i needed. The lady was so lovely. 

    There are many of us here who understand the shock of it all. The treatment itself can be daunting but it is doable. Because of covid i wasnt able to have many people with me in hospital, at chemo etc. Many of the ladies in melbourne have also experienced treatment without much support. There is empathy and support here.

    Michele
  • Cath62Cath62 Brisbane Member Posts: 356
    Sending you a very big hug @misstea. I was a sole parent for 20 years and empathise with you about being alone. You have done the right thing reaching out here and @MicheleR has some great advice in her posts. I hope you get the support you need to help with this roller-coaster ride. It is so overwhelming at the beginning but once you have decided on your treatment plan and that starts you will feel like you are getting somewhere. Best wishes 🌻
  • June1952June1952 Member Posts: 1,200
    Hello @misstea.  Just checking in to see how you are coping.  Hope you are feeling more on top of things.  💖

  • patdugpatdug Member Posts: 43
    Hello @misstea
    I understand how you feel and was truly touched by your story....there is a lot to unpack and you recognising you need and want a GP mental health care plan is the first step for you to regain your equilibrium and also muster the courage to proceed with your treatment. I think everyone on this forum (in some way) can relate to your feelings of isolation and loneliness. It is wonderful you have sought the opinion of another surgeon who will hopefully provide you with information and guidance that will empower you to go ahead with what he/she recommends to tackle the breast cancer... 
    Be reassured that you have the grit and determination to accept and proceed with treatment and live life again....sometimes we doubt ourselves...but you hopefully will cope and come through the other side....I am not minimising your feelings in any way...but rather letting you know 'you can do it'. There are REALLY tough days for sure but if you can set a lovely goal you want to achieve/see/have when the treatment is finished.....or whatever you do to persevere through a difficult time....then focus on it....
    Check back in on here on this forum lots and lots  and often (!) as there is SO much encouragement, helpful resources and comment that will help through things....Take good care of YOU xxx Big huge hugs....💕😘
  • tismetisme Member Posts: 133
    misstea said:
    Hi Members
    I have been dignose May 2021 Invasive breat cancer, Multifocal and Type ER positive PR Positive. Aged 50 years old.
    As I am a public patient, I saw the breast surgeon twice.  The information that I received was too muched too hear and this has affected my mental health. The fact was, the surgeon said,  "if you dont do this them you will died". I was not given a choice. They are doing their jobs but I wish they were more considered towards me as I have other diseases in my body. From the catscan they have found that I have mild cirrhosis. Another bad luck that I have to deal with. I am not having a good time with accepting my cancer and other complex issues. I have not started treatment because I have decided to get a mental health care plan from my GP so that later in the near future I can get councelling. I have booked an appointment to see a different breast Doctor to discuss my case.
    My family are overseas and interstate. My only first born adult has left me and living elsewhere. I do have some (not many) work mates that I can ring for a chat. Basically I feel ALONE in my journey.
    I raised my first born alone single mum. the father lives overseas and I lived alone. BEING ALONE IS NOT GOOD.
    A Question
    Anyone got any links or information from non profit organisation or community websites for Women like me living isolated with cancer  loneliness and grieve is a strange feeling to have. Thank you for reading my story. XXX

  • tismetisme Member Posts: 133
    i know how u feel , i had breast cancer 2 years ago , there is just me and my autistic daughter now I have found a lump docs say is scar tissue but I wonder and worry . Ive never felt so alone in my life. , I get angry when I think about it , ive helped so many in my life ( Im 61 ) now I need help ,. Im alone
  • arpiearpie Mid North Coast, NSWMember Posts: 5,175
    @tisme - when you advised your team of the lump, did they do a mammogram and/or ultrasound to check it out, or a biopsy?   I would imagine that would be 'standard procedure' first up ..... if they didn't - maybe contact your local cancer centre or GP (or even the Cancer Council) and get that sorted first.  Best to do it before the weekend - as you'll be more worried over the weekend.  :( 

    Please ring the helpline (number is up on the blue banner at the top of the page) and have a chat with one of the mods - they will be able to talk you thru it & may be able to give you phone numbers to contact up there.. 

    All the best xx

  • tismetisme Member Posts: 133
    i had an ultrasound and and MRI 
  • arpiearpie Mid North Coast, NSWMember Posts: 5,175
    @tismeThat's good.  And the report would have indicated that it was scar tissue.   I had similar concerns 12 months after my surgery & ended up having a biopsy too, to confirm that it wasn't a tumour - so you may be able to request a biopsy for peace of mind? 

    Chat with the helpline first, I reckon xx. Maybe have your report handy too ...  

    Take care
  • missteamisstea Adelaide, South AustraliaMember Posts: 3
    Hi all , Three weeks ago I had breast conserving surgery and some lymph nodes remove. Lasted week i got my results. The margins came out clear. So grateful that I have my breast. Mastectomy wasn't for me. My mental health is slowly getting better. Next month i will have radiation treatment and then go on aromatase inhibitors for post menopausal women. I hope my body can cope with the side affects. THANK YOU for your comments. Have a beautiful day.
  • arpiearpie Mid North Coast, NSWMember Posts: 5,175
    @misstea - terrific results ....  Try & do what you love doing (even in these covid times) and keep busy - or even take up a new hobby (I can recommend Ukulele!  ;) )   A few BCNA members play!!  I have thousands of songs, if you need any!  :)

    take care & all the best for you rads xx

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