Found out this week I have DCIS

Blister

I’m 60 years old and I noticed a slight indentation under my left nipple and a dull ache in my left breast.  I was supposed to have a Mammogram in May, but you know COVID happened.

Anyway I finally arranged my Mammogram for early this month, mentioned change did the scan, had an examination, was told the usual call if something found or letter in 8 days.  Well it was the phone call. 

Went back had the tests exams and biopsy.

Was asked to come back with my husband for the biopsy results, while being prepared by staff that things didn’t look good and everything looked very suspicious. 

I’ve been lucky been diagnosed, had specialist appt and my surgery is due Tuesday exactly 1 week after.  We are still waiting for the staining results to come through.

I don’t feel like I’m allowed to feel anything but calm about my diagnosis, my husband keeps telling me with our knowledge of cancer  (he’s a two time survivor) there’s nothing to worry about, it’s early and contained so I just need to be calm and relaxed about the whole process.  

For the sake of my adult children I’m trying to be, but the things going through my head, is the cancer still contained, has the biopsy caused it to spread.  I can’t ask this question as I haven’t had time along with a medical person since I’ve been diagnosed, I know I have no right to complain, my family want this treated and treated quickly so I seem to have lost control of my treatment and care.

Are these feelings normal, my surgeon has told me this cancer I have has a 100% survival rate, so why do I feel like I do, there are so many women/men worse off than me, everything seems to be happening so fast no time to process

FLClover

Hello @Blister 🙂
You are very lucky you caught it early, yes. The outlook is also fantastic 😊. However, it is cancer. And you need time to process it. And you have every right to feel like you do. It’s fine that people are telling you that you’ll beat it and to be calm, it’s necessary to have encouragement and positivity. But in the beginning I also think it’s necessary to allow yourself to feel whatever it is you feel about it. It’s your body, your battle and your emotions around it. And none is allowed to tell you how to feel about it. You need to go through the fear, confusion, sadness, anger etc. You need to feel all this. Don’t suppress or ignore it, or it will only get worse. Allow to feel what needs to be felt, then after that you can transfer to feeling calm, after things have progressed and you’re more familiar with the whole thing. 

Good luck with the surgery, and ask for a psychologist where you are able to discuss whatever you feel without being judged or made to feel guilty about it 🍀❤️

iserbrown

@Blister

A diagnosis can cause a lot of angst internally.  Understandably hubby is trying to take the angst out of it, especially since he is a survivor

There's excellent information on the BCNA website, these links talk about your diagnosis

https://www.bcna.org.au/understanding-breast-cancer/what-is-breast-cancer/types-of-breast-cancer/

https://www.bcna.org.au/understanding-breast-cancer/what-is-breast-cancer/ductal-carcinoma-in-situ/

https://www.bcna.org.au/resource/fact-sheet-breast-cancer-pathology/

Best wishes with your upcoming appointment

Blister

Thank you

iserbrown

Take care 

Afraser

Dear @Blister

I may be reading your post the wrong way but your family, with the best of intentions, seem to be taking over for you. Sooner or later, and possibly easiest sooner, you may have to gently remind them that it’s your body, even your cancer, and you’d like to be the one leading the discussions. Their thoughts and experience of course are valuable, but cancer tends to be different for everyone - not just the pathology but mentally and physically. So keep the team by your side, but remember it’s your game. Best wishes. 

Blister

Thank you will do

MicheleR

Sorry to hear your diagnosis. No one wants to go through this no matter how good the prognosis. Its a shock and you will feel what you feel. Its ok to. Other peoples experiences are not yours and you have every right to experience it your way. All the best. 

Anne65

@Blister Sending love & strength your way. Such a difficult time & so much to take in. Its OK to feel overwhelmed & confused with so many questions continually going through your mind. Write down all your concerns & questions & ask your medical team at your next appointment. I found a McGrath breast care nurse to be an invaluable source of knowledge & I would ask her all those "dumb" questions. Its hard when you want all the answers now but just keep taking one step at a time & try not to worry about things you cant control....easier said than done!
Another good tip is to take someone with you on your appointments as an extra set of ears is invaluable & take notes yourself.
 I was diagnosed with DCIS coming up 3 years ago & have been so blessed with a great outcome & I am praying you will to. I had successful surgery & then had 3 weeks of radiation. I didnt have to endure chemo & I am on no medication so I have been so lucky. 
Stay strong & good luck for next Tuesday. Try to stay positive & be kind to yourself. love & hugs xxxx

Blister

@Afraser yes they did a bit, I had a talk them to remind them this is my diagnosis, my body my choice, have spent the day having little melt down, spoke with my Breast Care Nurse today by the end I was calmer, so tomorrow I have a very long day ahead.  thanks for your advice

Blister

Thank you everyone for your kind words and thoughts, I have spoken with my Breast Care Nurse today and after having a little melt down am feeling a lot better, not a fan of how things are done at the hospital but it is what it is.  its going to be a long long day tomorrow, most of which will be sitting in an armchair waiting for my surgery, but at least after I get as comfortable bed as the hospital give you.  

Thanks again for all your kind words, advice and support

Afraser

It’s hard sometimes for family to hit the right note - too much can look like taking over, too little like not caring! It’s hard on everyone. I found the brisk, practical attitude of professionals helped a lot - stuff to be done, decisions to be made rather than too much reflection - I had plenty of time for that later, when I was much better informed and much surer about myself and what really mattered. And a bit of a melt is therapeutic! Take care, best wishes. 

Blister

@FLClover thank you, well today was the day I had those emotions, from not being able to get the right advice or be told the right person to get the necessary information, to having a bad fat old ugly cry session.  My daughter really came through sat there and held me through it and apologised for forgetting this was happening to me, she was just trying to make things easier for me, she thought.  Have spoke to my lovely Breast Care Nurse, who suggested postponing my procedure, I said no its ok, while I'm not a fan of the hospital thats been chosen, I will go ahead with my surgery tomorrow, she eased my mind, am I a fan of having to sit in an armchair from 6:15am and my possible surgery time of 4pm in the afternoon no but its the way hospitals work these days, no being admitted into the ward before the surgery.  Only time I won't be in the armchair is when they do my ECG, my mammogram to insert Hook Wire and my surgery, it is going to be a long tiring day but I will get through it.  Thanks

kezmusc

Welcome @Blister

Truly stinks to be here but you're in the right place for warmth, understanding and a wealth of knowledge.  That beginning part just after diagnosis is nothing short of unbearable.  The rollercoaster of emotions and your brain continually conjuring up the worst possible scenario it can think of.
The ladies are right, as usual,  it is your show and even though you've been there with somebody who has gone through cancer it's never the same as when it's your name on the top of the results. 
Your hubby must feel like an old pro at this by now, no wonder he's so calm and matter of fact.  
The breast care nurses are the best go between you and the medicos.  They can normally put what they've said into a language us mere mortals can understand and will go in to bat for you if it's ever needed.

There really is no right or wrong way to get through this.  Just do what you need to do be that cry, scream, curse, jump up and down, go into hibernation from everyone else or all of the above.
One day at a time lovely.
Wishing you all the best and lots of hugs. 
xoxoxoxoxox 

Blister

@Anne65, I have bought a book and am writing my questions and things Im being told to do to get ready for my surgery tomorrow, my surgeon is lovely and told me no question is dumb they are all important, I spoke with my Breast Care Nurse today and she is lovely and caught me in the middle of my melt down but we are good now.  Think you have to be a special person to have their job.  I'm glad yours was picked up early as well.  Thank you I'm ready for my surgery tomorrow

FLClover

@Blister I’m really glad you did 😊. Having those meltdowns and ugly crying sessions is a great way of releasing all that pent up fear and anger. And they’re the best when we don’t feel guilty for having them. It’s true that your family only have the best for you in mind, and will try to downplay it, thinking that will ease things for you. Unfortunately it doesn’t, not with something this big. When I had to go through more surgery, plus radiation etc, I just wanted my parents to allow me to feel scared and acknowledge that fear, because it was definitely valid. I appreciated my dad telling me he knew I was going to beat this, but I really just wanted someone to say to me, you have the right to be shitscared right now. So cry, and yell, and here’s a plate to smash against the wall, because it’s all valid. Luckily, my sister came through and told me to allow my emotions, so I did, and it felt better. She just sat with me and my fear. Then I sat with my fears, and asked myself what exactly was it that I was so afraid of, and whether it was realistic, and what could I do about it. That helped. 

Your emotions will change through each phase. I wish I could tell myself then, what I know now, but of course that’s impossible. The only reason I’m better now is because I went through each stage and allowed it to happen and run its course. Seeing a psychologist has helped an enormous amount. Also, make sure you have a supportive medical team. I can’t put enough emphasis with words on how important that is. If you’re not happy about something and have anxiety, then change it, because it’s your intuition telling you something is wrong. You have every right to voice all your concerns, especially now. 

It does sound like tomorrow will be a bit of a long haul. Make sure you have something interesting to read or watch if you can. 

It sounds lovely that your daughter is there for you. I remember in my worst period, just crying all day in the bedroom, and my 7 yr old daughter would come in, not say anything, and just hand me tissues. Then she’d kiss me and leave me alone. Bless her, my beautiful girl, she gave me so much motivation to get better. 

So they do have your best interest at heart, and are also scared senseless by it all and trying to be brave for you, and suffering in their own way, but it’s good to let people know, as you did, that it is scary and you do need to release and vent somehow. As long and as many times as you need to. 

All the best for tomorrow. One thing I can tell you is that you can be deliriously happy again after all this 🍀❤️😘