Barbara63 Member Posts: 2
edited August 2020 in General discussion
Hi, I'm Barbara.  I started my BC journey on 7th May. I had a lumpectomy for the removal of 44mm lump with 5 satellites on  4th June and then a further anxcillery clearance on 16th June. 9 of 15 lymph nodes were cancerous.  Have started the chemo journey and I will finish off December or January with Radiation therapy.  I had a clear mammogram in March 2019. By May 2020 I had a fast growing cancer that had spread to my lymph nodes. I am reasonably healthy and being over 50 do all the right health checks. There is no BC in my family. I never saw this coming, but yet here I am.  My prognosis is good as my pet scan has shown no further cancer. I am lucky and appreciate my life all the more. But I do have issues around talking about BC so this is why I am reaching out to you beautiful people who understand how difficult, lonely and devastating this disease is, made worse by Covid. Anyway best wishes to everyone 💕


  • Beryl C.
    Beryl C. Member Posts: 270
    Hello Barbara 63, its important to stay connected as you negotiate your way around and through this 'major health concern', this forum is the best, always supportive - a place where you can 'say it as it is'. You can talk about anything you like, replies will be from actual, lived experience - so never hold back. best wishes, Beryl
  • Afraser
    Afraser Member Posts: 4,390
    Dear @Barbara63

    Welcome! We know you would much rather not be here but you are very welcome irrespective! It’s a good place to talk, say what you like - letting feelings out is an important part of recovery. Like you, I had no breast cancer (any cancer for that matter) in my family, and yes, it’s a shock. Your prognosis is good but don’t underestimate what a potential brush with death can do to your equilibrium - at any age! There’s no ‘can’t talk about that’ list here. COVID makes things harder, as everyone has an additional layer of anxiety. So chat, vent, laugh - especially laugh! Even bc can have its funny, bizarre side. Best wishes. 
  • FLClover
    FLClover Member Posts: 1,554
    Hello @Barbara63 🙂

    I had early stage bc, have had double mastectomy and radiation. Just started Femara after Zoladex injections. Got it at 39 with no family history. I am now basically moving on with life and generally happy, but still have issues talking about bc as well. I don’t have a problem telling close friends about it and I’m fine with it, but as soon as I talk to a psychologist or go to another appointment with a doctor or specialist of some sort, I break down. It makes me feel like a ‘patient’ or ‘victim’ of it which I never want to be. So I think it will take a while to fully come to terms with it, if ever, and talking about it with other women in the same position is soooo important. I think there’s that anger which we rightfully feel, that needs to be released, even though we’ve accepted it as we can’t really change the past. Moving forward and keeping positive is important, but so is venting, releasing and sharing all our frustration, fears and doubts. Release the negative to allow for the positive. 
    Best wishes to you too 😊🍀❤️
  • Cath62
    Cath62 Member Posts: 1,336
    Hi @Barbara63,
    Welcome to this wonderful group where you can say whatever you like. There is no judgement here but only support from wonderful brave women and men. 

    I started my treatment with surgery in May and i am currently going through chemo (4 rounds to go after today's treatment), then radium and hormones to come too. It is a shock for sure and everything happens so fast from diagnosis to surgery to other treatments. It is a roller-coaster ride for sure. It is hard to process all the emotions. It takes time. I have trouble discussing it with others too.

    I only told a few people that I know would support me  but even then it is very difficult.  I have a couple of girlfriends who have been through it and they are terrific support as is this group. Thank goodness for those who have been through it or going through it who share their experiences and thoughts. Through them we learn and know we are normal in what we aee feeling and experiencing. It is very hard at times so it is great you have reached out.

    I find covid does make is harder for us and our treatment. We need to be so careful and protect ourselves and in doubt so it is lonely at times because it is so isolating. Keep those positive thoughts coming to help you get through. Sending you lots of love and rainbows ❤🌈
  • Dory65
    Dory65 Member Posts: 323
    Hello @Barbara63,

    I too find it a bit lonely in the sense that no one really wants to talk about BC now that active treatment is finished and I'm "just" navigating the hormone blockers and side effects. I have just started seeing a cancer counsellor to discuss my fears and doubts, and how to live my best life from here on. I don't have the answers, but this forum has helped me so much when anxieties surface or for practical advice. Lovely bunch of people  :)
  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 7,742
    Hi @Barbara63 - welcome to the club that no-one really wants to join! Terrific that your pet scan was clear! Xx  Here, You can raise ANY issue, and get helpful replies from those who’ve gone before you.  Nothing is off limits.  We have ‘private groups’ for some discussions .... so feel free to join any of them, if they suit you.

    We all know the absolute turmoil that comes with the bc diagnosis .... specially after a ‘clear mammogram’ and no family history. This was my story too.  My MG was clear just months before my wonderful GP found it, by accident!

    Your whole world is turned upside down in a millisecond, as you navigate unknown areas of our health system! It is almost a conveyor belt! First you do this, then this, then go there and do that, then come back here and do this .... and it may take a year or two for your life to settle down.

    It is totally 100% ok to skip between anger, denial, sadness - but if your find the sadness is overwhelming you, please seek professional help! Your GP may be able to refer you ... or your local Breast Cancer Centre May have help there .... where you are more likely to find a bc specific psychologist.  Just talking about it openly and sharing it with a professional should be able to give you coping mechanisms ... 

    You will make new friends and may lose some old ones, as most just do not understand what you are going thru. Most of us here, have found wonderful friends within the group and have even met up with them in ‘real life’ before this Covid thing! Grrr In July last year, I met up with @Annie C in Darwin for a week of fun .... and we are planning another one next year (if Covid allows us!)

    Personally I found that it mucked with my BRAIN more than anything else!  And sometimes that is very hard to control, as it has a mind of its own! Keeping BUSY doing things is the secret .... get back into your hobbies or take up a new one - even more so now with Covid as we can’t get together with buddies as readily as before.  

    Try & keep your sense of humour 'up there' - we have a really good 'funnies page' (called Friday Funnies, but we add them every day!!).
    If you are into arts & crafts, we have a 'Creative Corner'
     and if into your garden, a Gardening post as well!!
    And we now have a Fishing post, as that is one of my passions!

    take care, look after YOU ...  and do what you have to, to get thru this shit fight! Xx
  • Abbydog
    Abbydog Member Posts: 485
    Dear  @Barbara63,
    My story is a little similar to you, Although I have just finished Chemo and about to start Radiotherapy.
    I had a Mastectomy with axillary clearance. I also have done all of the recommended checks and screening tests.
    My last Breastscreen Mammogram was 9 months before I found the lump. I'm lucky to have found it.
    Hopefully my outcome will be ok. Stage 2, Grade 3 BC
    I've had good support from several people I know through work, who've had BC.
    Best wishes for your Chemo. I hope you tolerate it well. I was lucky. I had side effects but it was quite manageable.

  • Barbara63
    Barbara63 Member Posts: 2
    Hearing others stories certainly helps in this situation.  Thank you all for sharing with me. Best wishes 💕