Acceptance

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Bim
Bim Member Posts: 3 ✭
edited December 2019 in General discussion
3 rounds of surgery over. Very early detection started with conservation surgery in both. Next wider margins. Still not clear in left. I made the decision for bilateral mastectomy and confidently say this was the right decision for me. Supported by my husband and surgeon. No further treatment. Next year for review etc. I made the decision for no reconstruction of any type. No prosthesis. I wish those well meaning folk around would accept this. The bra given sits in a drawer. Yesterday, a friend said  "It will make me feel better if I wear it". Thank you for the loving support from my husband and family, I am who I am, comfortable in my own skin and accepting this is how I am now. I do understand those who want reconstruction. My mother was a widow but said it did effect her and how she felt. We are all different. PLEASE do not make my choice and those who feel the same as less a person because we choose to be who we are now in life. I went to a school reunion on the weekend, drains in my shoulder bag and had a fabulous time. One school friend has made the same decision years ago. Still confident also that it was right for her.
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  • Afraser
    Afraser Member Posts: 4,373 ✭
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    No reconstruction was the right decision for me too, although I am monoboobed and do wear a prosthesis. Only once walked out of the house without it! But have no problem stripping off in change rooms when required. Each to her own. I have no issues about it at all and also accept that reconstruction is an important part of recovery for others. Bear in mind that the majority of Australian women still don’t have reconstruction (for whatever reason). Best wishes. 
  • Beryl C.
    Beryl C. Member Posts: 270 ✭
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    Most of the time a find 'well meaning folk' a source of major irritation. How do I manage? 'Thanks, I'm very comfortable with my decision.' That's it, no explanations, you are not required to defend your decisions and choices to anyone. Good that you found someone who made the same choice.
  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 7,584 ✭
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    Well done you, @Bim !  You are very comfy with your decision & that's how it should be.  If I had to, I'd go the same path & not have recon ... but as you say, can understand why some do.

    All the best with your recovery xxx

  • Blossom1961
    Blossom1961 Member Posts: 2,377 ✭
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    Hi @Bim I am mono boobed and often leave the house without a prosthetic. It is quite noticeable but I am quite comfortable with it ......now. If I had gone flat my prosthetics would also sit in the drawer taking up space. 
  • Bim
    Bim Member Posts: 3 ✭
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    You have to love the honesty of children. I am going to use your saying 'flat and fabulous'. I'm an Oma and made the error perhaps when my grandson asked me how old I was. I said well how old did he think I was. 92! Apparently. Quite chuffed that Nannie is 98! We are both in our 60's. Laughter is the best medicine
  • kmakm
    kmakm Member Posts: 7,974 ✭
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    It continues to flabbergast how frequently people think they know how you feel about your body better than you do yourself. It's nobody's business but your own!  :#
  • Sister
    Sister Member Posts: 4,960 ✭
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    I won't say that I feel wonderful being monoboobed but I don't fancy the idea of surgery either and since there's not fairy with a magic wand around, this is how I am.  I don't hide in the change rooms - if it bothers people, they can deal with it.  I do wear a prosthesis when I wear a bra which is when I want to look vaguely respectable so I'd put one on to go to the shops but not to go for a walk up the road.  If I was flat on both sides, I probably wouldn't bother then.  I may one day decide to have reconstruction but at the moment, it doesn't seem likely.

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