Forum Discussion
Temple
6 years agoMember
Rise of the machinesš©š¤¬š„“š¤¢
Is anyone else terrified of the scanners, the beam, the other thing thatās round? Itās been building for weeks. I can call it out right now. This is my first āphobiaā. Itās not claustrophobia. Just looking at them terrifies me. And so does everything else - the powerlessness, itās impersonal and cold, itās poorly organised, the staff nothing special, not helpful and simply got a job to do, and seem
completely unaware of how utterly horrible the machines look,
how disempowered and vulnerable a persons may feel. I have endured this for all the presurgery scans of machines I donāt even know the name of. And then some staffer asks me to tell them
what tests Iāve had. I donāt know! My wallet knows. Iāll ask my wallet. How bout I do that? WTF do you not have records of what is happening to me?
Iāve read about shorter durations etc for radiation, but nobody has mentioned to me who gets this? Why not me?
I am starting radiation therapy next week.
Has anyone ever bailed on radiation? ie not complete it? Is there a way to make this less terrifying? I could give it a go but may quit. I donāt think I can do it. I wasnt scared or anxious when being told of the breast cancer diagnosis, or and wasnāt anything other than upbeat during the surgery. This machine scanner boobs out bullshit. Nup, nada, nope,
completely unaware of how utterly horrible the machines look,
how disempowered and vulnerable a persons may feel. I have endured this for all the presurgery scans of machines I donāt even know the name of. And then some staffer asks me to tell them
what tests Iāve had. I donāt know! My wallet knows. Iāll ask my wallet. How bout I do that? WTF do you not have records of what is happening to me?
Now the idea of my ugly fat self and my ugly fat disfigured boob popped out and exposed while lying on some fugly board attached to what looks like an instrument of death, in a fugly room while people stare at me, and doing it every day, yeah thatās more than I can do.
Iāve read about shorter durations etc for radiation, but nobody has mentioned to me who gets this? Why not me?
I am starting radiation therapy next week.
Has anyone ever bailed on radiation? ie not complete it? Is there a way to make this less terrifying? I could give it a go but may quit. I donāt think I can do it. I wasnt scared or anxious when being told of the breast cancer diagnosis, or and wasnāt anything other than upbeat during the surgery. This machine scanner boobs out bullshit. Nup, nada, nope,
Thatās how I feel today.
26 Replies
- MiraMemberMaybe you could suggest it to them when you give them the feedback. Give them some ideas of things that would have helped you. :smile:
- TempleMemberIt doesnāt or else not mentioned but such a good idea. The
communication been terrible unfortunately. - MiraMemberHi @Temple, I just remembered my radiation centre had an orientation session before treatment. We went into a room (with other patients) and we all watched a video on how it all works and we had the opportunity to ask staff questions. This was in a public hospital. I wonder if the centre you go to has one of them?
- TempleMemberThank you @LIttleBlueWren - I wish I knew if I was allowed to do that, or what will happen, what to wear, where I get changed, into what, etc before hand. I wish I could have seen a linear accelerator ahead of time and what it will be like. Seems a basic idea and good practice. Despite all the āweāre here to support youā propaganda they were not supportive nor had they shown any awareness of how to be patient centred. I will find out the complaints and feedback
process. Not looking for new best friends, just efficient, patient centred folks to do the radiation. I have however transferred whatever radiation I am having that maybe starts next week to a different centre, unfortunately within the same network but maybe the team there are not as self centred.
Someone suggested taking a notebook but the info hasnāt been about me or my treatment or prognosis, just banal crap I have already read on line.
I think itās poor that the radiation specialist or someone hasnāt had a single written communication with me arising from my initial consultation - Not an email, letter, SMS, report, booking slip. Im sure I will get a bill promptly though š¤£
I will also ring the imaging centre to ask āWTFā re the alleged appointments they may or may not have made but nobody knows for sure. A morsel of info would be great.š¤ - Hi @Temple
I too was very worried about rads once I realised that I was expected to lie half-naked on the machine with my arms up. Thankfully, I found out this bit of info before I started and I purchased some 'baby blankets' (Kmart $10 for 3) and took one in with me each day. I was able to cover myself up during the actual radiation part. When they were setting me up, some staff seemed to take delight in making me feel as vulnerable as possible and others set me up without exposing my chest at all (just lifting the blanket a little to put the bolus on my chest and do the measurements).
They really don't understand (some do try though) how the whole process makes one feel.
My thoughts will be with you, it will be done before you know it.
Hugs
LittleBlueWren - iserbrownMemberThat certainly was wise to walk!
- AfraserMemberI almost never had this problem for bc treatment but a recent interview prior to a routine colonoscopy was different. Appointment moved nearly an hour early by the doctorās request, no problem. Got in even earlier to fill out the lengthy forms I knew theyād ask for. Kept waiting for over half an hour past appointment time while the person who it turned out I was seeing mooched around, had a cup of tea and did not read my file. Finally in the consulting room, no introduction of any kind other than that he was gong to conduct a medical examination. I should have asked then and there what his qualifications were. I asked if he wanted reports, other than what was already on the referral, from my medical team. Got told this was how they do things and if I wasnāt happy with that, I was at liberty to go elsewhere. He then proceeded to ask all the questions I had already written on the form but abruptly and unhelpfully - āWhat did I mean, I have an arrhythmia?ā. Did he want a medical description? Finally I thought I should raise the real reason I was there (I am on blood thinners) as he clearly wasnāt getting to it any time soon. Off tablets for three days, aspirin instead. I (mildly) noted that was different from last time. Once again, if donāt like it you can leave. So I did. Advised my GP ( who was not impressed), referred to 2nd centre, professional, thorough, pleasant and reassuring. Walking saves a lot of nervous tension!
- kezmuscMember@Temple,
My goodness, what a mess. That's beyond poor sevice let alone the emotional side of it. Start jumping up and down, taking names and kicking butts. Maybe ask who the head honcho is there and what the patient liasons phone number is. That tends to shake everyone up a bit. I like @Zoffiel idea of the name notebook. That could be a lot of fun.
My appointments were made on the Monday for the rest of the week and confirmed daily. The few times I needed to change them there was no problem. The whole 6 weeks ran very smoothly.
This was me as a public patient in a private hospital and I was treated exactly the same as everyone paying the big bucks. The staff were always friendly and understanding. Except the one that did the tattoos, didn't like her much. Ouch.
Whether you're paying or not, this is a serious business and everybody should be treated equally, fairly and respectfully. If you're not....give em hell lovely.
xoxoxoox - iserbrownMemberI would be asking for clarity on the process as the "oh are you here again, not interested attitude" is causing unnecessary anxiety otherwise give consideration to asking for a consult with the Radiation Oncologist and ask for a transfer to a different facility!
A notebook sounds like a wise move!
Take care as at the end of the day you didn't ask to be in this predicament - SisterMemberI'm so sorry you are getting this sort of attitude @temple. And that you are paying for it. I would certainly be recording names and processes - you may need to know them down the track. Regarding appointments - it is common for appointments to be day-by-day, private & public. I was given a list of times before I started but was told that these would be reviewed each day for the following day. However, even though I was in the main public hospital here, they were always as accommodating as they could be. My preference was for around 9:30ish each morning due to other commitments and from memory, they made it within 30 minutes of that each day except for once when it had to be closer to 11. So while the appointments may not be set in stone, I would think there would be room to get it close. If you are not feeling confident about the centre's ability to effect treatment, it may be necessary to speak up about it before you start. You are a paying customer.