Never thought this would happen
Sunday 30th October 2011
This would have to be the hardest day of my life
My mum sadly passed away and could not fight her 3 year battle with breast cancer anymore... I cant describe the feeling to see her there laying in the hospital bed knowing her heart is not beating and she is no longer alive. I layed next to her for about 3 hours before the nurses said they needed to take her away.
i cried and cried- that was goodbye, that was the last time i was going to see my mum.
The Funeral was the hardest , actually no the cemetary. When the coffin lowered into the ground my heart just sunk the tears that poured from me and my sisters eyes could fill a thousand rivers!!!!!
I hope you are at peace now mum. I hope you are free of suffering... No longer in pain having to take all those drugs and go through all those painful procedures.
Today i cleaned out mums kitchen cupboards and filled a HUGE box full of drugs and it was over filling i filled a laundry basket aswell full of morphine, oxycontin, endone, tykerb, steroids, xloda, zaffron, maxilon thats just a few to name there was so many more... I took them all back to the chemist so they can dispose of them and just get rid of them.. it was so depressing looking at it all.
I miss you mum I LOVE YOU so so so much. You were and no actually ARE my best friend
Comments
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So sorry to hear about your mum. I also lost my mum to cancer two years ago, but it was bowel cancer.
One thing that you were lucky about was that you were able to be there for her. My mother who lived in England refused to see me when she found out she was dying, so I never got to share her last battle.
Good Luck in the future!
Julia
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My heart is breaking for you in your grief. You write beautifully, and your blog has brought tears to my eyes. I have a daughter about your age, and 3 sons also close in age to you. Reading your blog gave me a huge insite into cancer from my kids perspective. I put on a brave face, and try and keep things as normal as possible for the kids, but there is no way to protect them fully and shield them from this ugly disease. My daughter made a casual comment a few months ago that made me realise how this was affecting her. Towards the second part of my baldness, during winter, I wore a wig all of the time. It was a very good wig, and her comment to me was, " mum, I can almost forget that you have cancer when you wear your wig all the time". When I lost my hair at the end of summer, I would often wear nothing on my head around the house. Only after that comment did I realise how much my bald head was a constant reminder that her mum was sick.
My heart goes out to you as you mourn the loss of your mum.
Love Chris xx0 -
My heart is breaking for you in your grief. You write beautifully, and your blog has brought tears to my eyes. I have a daughter about your age, and 3 sons also close in age to you. Reading your blog gave me a huge insite into cancer from my kids perspective. I put on a brave face, and try and keep things as normal as possible for the kids, but there is no way to protect them fully and shield them from this ugly disease. My daughter made a casual comment a few months ago that made me realise how this was affecting her. Towards the second part of my baldness, during winter, I wore a wig all of the time. It was a very good wig, and her comment to me was, " mum, I can almost forget that you have cancer when you wear your wig all the time". When I lost my hair at the end of summer, I would often wear nothing on my head around the house. Only after that comment did I realise how much my bald head was a constant reminder that her mum was sick.
My heart goes out to you as you mourn the loss of your mum.
Love Chris xx0 -
Dani, you are a beautiful soul and you and your mum were extremely lucky to have had each other.
It breaks my heart to hear your words it makes me think of my own children and how much time i may have with them. If i live as long as your mum and get to spend as many years as them as you and your mum did i will be a very happy lady.
I think that the offer you have put out to help other ladies is truely amazing. Your mum would be so very proud of you and Renee.
Danielle xx
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I am so sorry to hear about your Mums passing.
I am so glad you got to be there with her.It all must be over-whelming for you,I pray you can find some sort of peace through this and know we are all thinking of you.Its been great for you to have this web sight so you can share your feelings with others.
Take care and god bless xxx
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I am so sorry to hear about your Mums passing.
I am so glad you got to be there with her.It all must be over-whelming for you,I pray you can find some sort of peace through this and know we are all thinking of you.Its been great for you to have this web sight so you can share your feelings with others.
Take care and god bless xxx
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So sorry to hear about your lovely mum.She must have been a wonderful person to bring up such a lovely daughter like you.I have 2 daughters,25yrs and 27yrs.so your beautiful blog brought tears to my eyes.I don't want to leave this world yet but if I had to then I would go knowing that my girls were ok and old enough to look after themselves.As time goes on you will remember your mum in all sorts of ways-she'll never really leave you.
Tonya xx
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So sorry to hear about your lovely mum.She must have been a wonderful person to bring up such a lovely daughter like you.I have 2 daughters,25yrs and 27yrs.so your beautiful blog brought tears to my eyes.I don't want to leave this world yet but if I had to then I would go knowing that my girls were ok and old enough to look after themselves.As time goes on you will remember your mum in all sorts of ways-she'll never really leave you.
Tonya xx
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Hi Dani
I am so sorry to hear about your Mum and your sadness. I am sure she was an amazing Mum to have brought up such an articulate and loving daughter. How fortunate for her that you were with her when she passed.
Everyday I fear the impact that my death will have on my children - I live in hope that I will be here to see them to adulthood and live a life of example (as I am sure your mum felt too) - full and fullfilling despite adversity.
Cancer is a bummer and not only affects individuals but it happens to the entire family. It may seem really difficult now and it will be for some time but your Mum will forever be with you both in your heart and your memories - in you she will live on.
With love to you,
Amanda xx
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Hi Dani
I am so sorry to hear about your Mum and your sadness. I am sure she was an amazing Mum to have brought up such an articulate and loving daughter. How fortunate for her that you were with her when she passed.
Everyday I fear the impact that my death will have on my children - I live in hope that I will be here to see them to adulthood and live a life of example (as I am sure your mum felt too) - full and fullfilling despite adversity.
Cancer is a bummer and not only affects individuals but it happens to the entire family. It may seem really difficult now and it will be for some time but your Mum will forever be with you both in your heart and your memories - in you she will live on.
With love to you,
Amanda xx
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