Newbie

BroniD

Hi, so yesterday was my 21st wedding anniversary it was also the day I was told I have breast cancer.
I'm going for my core biopsy on Tues then I guess I wait to find out when & what surgery I need.
Not really sure how this BCNA works or if i'm doing this right.
Broni

Romla

Welcome Broni D. Yes you are in the best place for guidance and support from very kind and generous people.

I had my core biopsy the day before my 63 birthday at Breast Screen in 2017. The team involved were wonderful and I  felt very safe and cared for.Yourpreliminary diagnosis should be given at the end with a recommendation to see a breast surgeon .

BCNA provide free a wonderful My Journey Kit which has helped us all a lot at this worrying time.One of our members @soldiercrab has set up a wonderful intro for new people and hope she’ll see this and do so again soon for you.

We are all at varying stages in the breast cancer journey and can offer practical support and guidance - just ask and someone will come on to help.Many members also are awake thru the night too - we have a chatty mob in fact called Night Owls .

It may help to advise your state and possible treatment location as members may be able to help with suggestions regarding hospitals , medical professionals etc.

Afraser

Hi @BroniD
No day is a good day for a breast cancer diagnosis but that's particularly tough! Knowing what your treatment is brings a bit of certainty. It's daunting and alarming at first but many have been through it, and many like me are well past treatment and living normally. Best advice I can give is take things one step at a time, as far as possible choose medical experts you trust and can talk to, and ask for help when you need it. Best wishes. 

Wonk

Hi BroniD
I was diagnosed the day before you and feeling like I’m two different people at the moment. Trying to portray a positive self as I tell family and work colleagues (so people don’t get scared), yet being so scared myself. Am booked in for surgery Wednesday. This has all moved so fast in two days. The most confronting thing was when I was answering the hospital pre-admission questions I always just say ‘no’ to all the ones like “Do you have heart disease, diabetes, epilepsy etc.” The last question was “Do you have cancer?” I automatically ticked no, then had to change my answer. That was hard.  I’m here to walk beside you if you need me.

BroniD

Thank you ladies for chatting with me. I live in Qld and Iast month I turned 54 years young.
I found a lump a week ago and went straight the doc, I have always had my 2 yearly mammograms, my doc did a full breast exam and found a much larger lump in my other breast. He said they are probably just cysts but lets get checked, I was heading to New Zealand in a couple of days for the weekend, so as soon as I got back I booked in for my mammogram & ultra sound. I live in a rural town & my hubby and I own a mechanical business on the coast so I made the 3 hour round trip by myself. I still can't quite believe this is happening. I guess I thought they would say once we get the results back from biopsy we will confirm if it is Cancer but the Doc (being the 4th person to see me within half an hour) said you have Cancer, she tried to do a needle biopsy but the pain was extreme and she said that is also another sign. I have a 8mm mass in my right breast 5cm from my nipple.
My hubby and I have told our immediate family, I'm at a loss as to - Should I keep it to myself until the biopsy results? Should I wait for the actual treatment plan before I say anything to friends and work mates & staff?
My GP's mum is going thru the exact same thing right now so he has recommended me to Dr Lisa Creighton on the Sunshine Coast Qld who only does breasts, this is where he has sent his mum. Has anyone been to her? 
I'm also feeling like "Wonk" being so positive on the outside and getting on with work and being strong for my family, I am always the bright happy person and always try to put a smile on everyones faces but inside I'm feeling so lost and weepy.  
I have a girl friend who is a breast cancer survivor so I'm going to reach out to her, but in my mind that will make this so much more real which scares the living daylights out of me.  

Deanne

Hi @BroniD,
It is such a difficult time finding out some info, waiting for more, but it does get easier as you and your doctors work out a plan. Lisa is fantastic! You will be in very good hands with her as your surgeon. She was my surgeon when I was diagnosed 51/2 years ago. I still see her every year for my checkups. 

It is a scary time but you do get through it one step at a time. Having doctors you can trust is an important part of the process. Reaching out for support is a good idea but also remember that everyone’s situation is different. 

Take care and I hope that we can help make this process just a little less scary. Deanne xxx

Sister

Welcome to the site.  It's so hard hearing those words when you are diagnosed.  Regarding telling others - do what you are ready for but I would recommend appointing some gatekeepers.  My husband and I told his immediate family (I don't have any) and I told two close friends and asked them to pass on the information to others with the instruction not to contact me as I needed to deal with the news without having to go through it all a hundred times.  I let these two friends know what was going on as things progressed, and they told the others.  While I was having my first surgery, my husband helped me set up a blog so that I could post to that and keep friends up to date.  I think we all found that much easier.  Again, having to go through each detail all of the time would have been too draining.

The other advice I have is, if it is possible, take someone you trust to your appointments as you will not take in much of what is said.  Even doing that, I have realised that there were things discussed 11 months ago that just didn't make it through to me.  Also, write down your questions so that you remember them when you go to appointments.

And come back here for info and support!

BroniD

Thank you @Deanne. My GP said Dr Lisa is the best option.
Thanks @sister I think that's a great idea how to keep everyone up to date. I'll keep that in mind. 
So right now I'll wait for my core biopsy on Tues and then to hear back from Dr Lisa's rooms
You ladies have already made me feel better about everything, I'm not alone. thank you x

Romla

@BroniD  @Sister also gave good advice about taking someone with you as the shock of diagnosis and whirlwind pace makes it hard to retain things. The BCNA kit I mentioned has within it question s that you might like to ask medical staff which I found useful as part of the time I was quite numb. It’s also an excellent idea to keep a diary of information/ events/ etc which you also get in the BCNA kit or just purchase one as you will be overwhelmed with all sorts of information

No you are most definitely not alone and there are many that join us daily in Australia - the beauty of the blog is we have a place to join together and get thru this.Stay online , ask what ever you need to , have a chat about stuff we are here for you. XO

Romla

The BCNA My Journey Kit is now online - trying to put up the link for you https://www.bcna.org.au/understanding-breast-cancer/resources/my-journey-online-tool/

Hope this helps. The hard copy is useful too and free.

kmakm

Hi Broni. So sorry that this is happening to you. You've got some excellent advice already from the wonderful folk here. I've tagged you in another post I wrote moments before I read yours, but I want to add a couple of things here.

Try not to worry about being positive. If you are, that's great, but don't force it. It makes no difference to your medical outcome (one of my oldest friends conducted the study that definitively proved it didn't). If you are a positive person in you pre-BC life then it will help you feel better as you go through your treatment. But there's absolutely nothing wrong with saying you feel like crap and are miserable and scared. Bottling up these feelings does no one any good. I was very angry and upset in the early days and I just wanted the pain to stop. A counsellor told me to lean into it, which I found bizarre at the time. But at almost a year later I now know that if you don't acknowledge and express those emotions, you're more likely to have difficulties later when you try to resume your life.

Of course you can't be all devastated and upset with everybody! Have a chosen trusted few with whom you can be genuinely open. It will truly help. Reaching out to a girlfriend who's been through this herself is a really good idea.

I think it's much easier to tell the wider circle of friends and then work the news when you have a treatment plan. You yourself will feel better at that point and will be able to answer the questions easier. You are absolutely in the worst bit right now, the not knowing. Hang in there. One day at a time. Big hug, K xox

BroniD

Hi Romla, thank you, how do I get a BCNA My Journey Kit? I got it online on my laptop but I think I'm better with a book to write in.

Romla

https://www.bcna.org.au/about-us/information-for-health-professionals/request-my-journey-kit-and-hope-hurdles-sample-packs/Hope this works if not will ask a moderator . Can you help @Giovanna_BCNA ?

BroniD

Thanks Romla, that was great, I just sent off my order.
You ladies are amazing, have a great day xx

Romla

They are pretty special this lot on here.We also have blokes on here who have breast cancer and they are great too.xo

Afraser

Re your question about telling - I told my work colleagues (after family) when I got the biopsy results. I had surgery 3 days later so no point in dallying. I also wanted to work through treatment if I could (and did) so it made things simpler just to have it all known. It was my very small bit for demystifying bc. Not secret, not shameful, hard work but common. Best wishes.