Hi, Although I dropped in on someone else's conversation the other day as I've been stalking these pages, I thought I should be brave and introduce myself. I'm 54 with 3 kids, primary through to high school ages. I had a breastscreen done 3 weeks ago, was recalled last Friday and diagnosed on Tuesday night with a 2.5cm lobular carcinoma in one breast. My amazing GP got me in to see a surgeon on Wednesday afternoon and I'm looking at surgery just before Christmas for a probable lumpectomy and sentinel node removal, with the option of a second op if the surrounding tissue looks sus. Of course, that depends on the results of the bone scans I had yesterday! I have to admit that I'm veering between absolute terror and despair, and numbness and denial, while still trying to show positive for the kids. It's the first time in my life that I don't want to face people - I've told a couple of friends (by phone) and asked them to tell other people, and my husband is fielding any phone calls. I think that if the bone scans come out clear, I'll be able to function better but if they don't, I'm worried that I'm just going to fall apart. While I'm hearing all of the professionals tell me positive things, I find it hard to really believe them as personal experience with my sister years ago tells me the opposite. We lost her to this in 1999.I'm sorry, guys - this was supposed to be a sane (and light-hearted?) introduction but I can see it's turned into something else. I think I needed to say it, though. And I think many of you have probably been here.By the way, I've realised that my username paints a picture of a highly politicised feminist and while I have nothing against that, it wasn't my intention. All of the good usernames had been taken so the one I chose was because I was feeling a particular affinity with my sister at that moment.

Hi @Sister Welcome to this exclusive club of wonderful ladies who will be here to support you through whatever is to come.Give yourself a break and let it out as you need to - we all understand and help where we can. We have all travelled a different road but we are still here for you.Please try not to concentrate too much on the loss of your sister at the moment as the diagnosis and treatments have come a long way since then. Listen to your medical team as they know your specific issue and the best way to attack it - and attack it they will. After all, they want you to live a long life as much as you do.Keep on checking in as you will find lots of friends to vent with !Hugs Summer :)

Thank you all so much. I've really appreciated your support, honesty and the sharing of your stories over the last week. It has helped me to get some perspective over this and realise just what an a network of people are living with this and how amazing you all are. I finally got some positive news last night that it seems to be localised to the breast and I'm scheduled for surgery late next week so I guess the kids will be cooking Christmas dinner. I know that the op might show some spread of the cancer but I'll deal with that if it happens. I also know that even if it is clear, it could come back so that's for the future, too.I, like Jane Doyle, refuse to call it a journey (I like journeys), but it is a life experience and we all know that some of them can be pretty shitty. What I've gotten from this site is that, women are living with cancer and so can I.You are all amazing!

Hi and welcome. I was diagnosed two years ago at 53 and while I didnt return to the same as I was, I am okay. I am thinking with your christmas is it possible for someone else in the family to host the dinner bit, or let the older kids have a bash at it? They might not do things quite how you like it but now is the time for them to get that confidence in hosting family gatherings. I have two older boys and while cooking isnt their forte, decorations aren't bad. Rest easy over Christmas and start a diary. It is interesting to read back through it in years to come. <3

Hey @Sister welcome aboard our creaky little boat. Most of us start out literally paddling for our lives which is absolutely exhausting. On any day there will be a couple in danger of falling overboard, there will be robust discussions about navigation and someone will be asleep in the hammock. Excuse the nautical references, I have no idea where that came from. Never mind. Welcome anyway.I've had a history of being in the middle of some cancer catastrophe or other over Xmas on a couple of occasions. You'd think I would have learned not to do that, but apparently not. You' will muddle through somehow, we all have. Reluctantly, sometimes, but what else can you do?Good luck with the scans and surgery. I've got lobular BC as well, it's a shit of a thing.Be kind to yourself. Marg. Xx

Hi @Sister, welcome to the club no one wants to be part of. As I’m sure you’ve seen the other club members are wonderful for advice, reassurance and a listening ear. Not knowing is hard but there will be an overload of information shortly. Take each day (or hour at times) as it comes. Jen xx.

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18 Replies

Caseypinto
Member
8 years ago
@Sister great news! Wishing you a lovely Christmas relaxing and recouping as everyone waits on you - I totally agree with @iserbrown it's a hideous cruel roller coaster - sometimes you're at the top and sometimes at the bottom, but the amazing ladies here are so supportive and knowledgeable- knowing just the right things to say- take care of yourself xxx
Romla
Member
8 years ago
Hi @ sister and welcome. This is a great blog full of wise wonderful women who support each other after a breast cancer diagnosis. I too have lobular bc - lumpectomy March followed by reexcision to widen surgical margin which was clear.My tumour was 1.4 cm deep over the breast bone and LHS. I also had a sentinel node biopsy - 2 nodes removed one with microstasis. The biopsy more/less firms up treatment options and mine was no chemo but 16 rounds radiotherapy in May to be qfollowed by 5 years hormone therapy ( Letrozole) as I am er+ which I have been taking since August. From diagnosis to the end of radiotherapy everything moved quickly and I felt quite safe as all staff medical/otherwise were caring and professional .I too have 3 kids at home - with twins entering year 12 next year. I am glad you found this site so quickly as the tough part for me was after treatment finished then you need support as it can be frightening with every new change in your body regardless of how small making you fear a recurrence plus yes there are side effects too.When the treatment phase is over you might also like to look into the free YWCA Encore hydrotherapy course plus there are also local support groups which meet for a coffee or a meal - some of which are. Listed in the BCNA “ My Journey “ kit which was my “ bible” during the treatment phase. If there are any questions you have am more than happy to share whatever knowledge I have just ask.XO
socoda
Member
8 years ago
Hi @Sister, I have to admit when I saw your username I actually thought sister as in Nun - oops - former Catholic upbringing :s. So happy for you that you have had good news that it is localised. Here is a link for what to take to hospital - helps take a bit of pressure off the brain at this stage. http://www.reclaimyourcurves.org.au/uploads/2/6/5/5/26558246/ryc_what2pack-print.pdf ; - put together from the experience of others . Let us know how your'e going. Xx Cath
iserbrown
Member
8 years ago
Good to hear you now have direction! Localised to the breast is good news! Wishing you a speedy recovery with surgery and an enjoyable Christmas dinner prepared by the kids! There are lots of descriptive words to cover what we go through and roller coaster is my preferred! As it is emotional as well as physical but with the support on here we all get through, somehow!
Take care
primek
Member
8 years ago
So glad you have some good news. I was relieved to get that too. Now to surgery. X
SoldierCrab
Member
8 years ago
@Sister
I call it a Roller coaster ride I bloody hate them......
Sister
Member
8 years ago
Thank you all so much. I've really appreciated your support, honesty and the sharing of your stories over the last week. It has helped me to get some perspective over this and realise just what an a network of people are living with this and how amazing you all are. I finally got some positive news last night that it seems to be localised to the breast and I'm scheduled for surgery late next week so I guess the kids will be cooking Christmas dinner. I know that the op might show some spread of the cancer but I'll deal with that if it happens. I also know that even if it is clear, it could come back so that's for the future, too.
I, like Jane Doyle, refuse to call it a journey (I like journeys), but it is a life experience and we all know that some of them can be pretty shitty. What I've gotten from this site is that, women are living with cancer and so can I.
You are all amazing!
onemargie
Member
8 years ago
Hi there @sister it’s a shitty thing to be here but so good that you have chosen to come onboard you will find heaps of great advice from many bc survivors from all different walks of life and backgrounds I was aged 43 may last year when I was diagnosed and all good for me now (3cm tumor left boob left mastectomy so I only had to have 8 rounds of chemo and no rads, scans all clear and negative for the gene and no family history right boob off as a preventative 6 months later). And remember so much as changed since 1999 since the sad passing of your lovely sister with treatment and survival rates so rest assured you will get all the reassurance and guidance you need with your bc too on this forum . My advice is don’t google anything, take the advice from your team and the lovelies on here and once you have all your results and a plan of attack it does feel better. And nothing wrong with your name... we are all “sisters” on here lovey. Biggest hug. Margie xx
Sister
Member
8 years ago
I've brought up genetic testing and the surgeon has noted it but said let's do first things first (as he should) but it's something I need to keep in mind with 2 daughters.
primek
Member
8 years ago
I think it's perfectly normal to feel terrified, teary, avoiding people and being unable to sleep. So is being calm, calculated and thinking you are in control. How we react to this assault on our life is highly individual.

I also lost my sister to breast cancer.
On my father's side I lost an Aunt to breast cancer and many others to ovarian cancer. The same week of diagnosis my sister in law was dying from endometrial cancer. I was at her funeral and still waiting on my results. All these experiences impacted me greatly and made it difficult for me to "just be positive". But that's okay. We don't have to be positive, we just have to show up and have the sugery and treatment for our best chances. And slowly slowly we start feeling as a SURVIVOR.

Have you been referred for genetic testing?. It won't change your current treatment plan but it may impact on what you should do in the future. Make sure you have a referral to a genetic specialist. Whilst mine was negative (huge relief) it was valuable to map our family and as new genes emerge they will recheck our dna. We were delighted not to have inherited my Father's family BRAC1 faulty gene. None of my siblings have. Apparently at this stage it's just bad luck.

Kath x