Stress

primek

Just when you think you are back to a new normal you realise you aren't really quite there yet.

I just find it hard to deal with stress these days. My impending minor surgery has me super anxious.

I'm not sleeping well.
I'm comfort eating.

I'm not coping well at work trying to wind up workloads and see all my clients in 3 days because I'm having 2 weeks off. (well I'm hoping it's just 2 weeks)

Yesterday a rather tense incident of poor communication made me super upset and I really needed time out.

Today I just feel emotionally blunted from exhaustion which is not great in the job I do.

Tonight in tears just trying to figure out what to cook for tea as I hadn't pre planned and was stuffed when I got home. 

The recent 1000 k round trip for just a pre op appt hasn't helped.

The death of a fellow bc sisters mother of metastatic disease...brings home our fears.

I'm also trying to organise my sister's 60th in between this as her partner has not done anymore but book a table...having it Saturday, day before we leave for my next trip to Adelaide.

But on we go.
Deep breathe.
At least after surgery I'll be off the mouse wheel for just a few days at least.

Kath x

Afraser

Oh Kath, you take on so much, no wonder you get tired. We are all eternally grateful but you need some Primek time!! I know that crazy work thing, driving yourself into long, long days so you can have a few off. As long as you realise you are trying to do the roles of several people, you will also realise that a) you are not lacking in any way, b) tiredness is not because of your condition or because of treatment but because anyone else trying to do the same thing would also be (to use a technical term) knackered and c) you are compensating for others, which is generous but may be exhausting! Take some time out! Let someone else do the picking up or let something drop (no one will die!). Be a recuperating person for 2 weeks. Look forward to your surgery - it's been a long road, and demand some time! Very best wishes. Alison. 

SoldierCrab

I hear you  hugs xxxxx 

fairydust

Hi primeck. I am getting stressed just reading what you have been up to. Your living life to the full.Your facing life head on.
Sometimes things can get overwhelming.
The problem is I forget I no longer have the same stanima I used to have and I get overtired. Things will slow down. I get anxious going to the hospital just for a follow up appointment let alone a minor procedure. A lot is happening for you at the moment which is fantastic . You are alive and active and of course will bounce back and soldier on. Best wishes

KathSe

You are an amazing woman Primek and u do it all with a smile! One of the most consummate professionals I have ever met and it's great to work with u and also call u my friend! Next week is a great step forward and u will do it well! Take some time out for you and take it easy u deserve it. We will miss u but will be cheering u along the way and u will fly thru with ur usual style xxxxxx

InkPetal

Wish I could give you a big cuddle.

Today I was trying to figure out what the conditions are in figuring out currency exchange rates - why sometimes you multiply and sometimes you divide. I couldn't see the sense in it very clearly at first so I asked someone and they recited a sum at me with no explanation but followed it with "Next time try google". My usual response to that kind of thickwittery is wow, tool alert, bye. but for some reason today all I could think about was what was the point of being so mean to me when all I did was ask for help and I actually cried about it. 

Stress is a crazy-ass monster of a thing. *hug hug* *hug hug hug*

Pammy46

Hugs to you xx

melclarity

Kath! its any wonder youve hit a wall!! my goodness, how could you not be overwhelmed and I think it will be good surgery!! because you will just stop!!! you know how wound up I was pre surgery geeee, but surgery day absolutely fine! so give yourself a break, theres too much going on, time to wind down and let others take control. Hugs Melinda xo

primek

@InkPetal . Yes, people can be so mean when they could have been more helpful and it often takes less time to actually  do that.

I had a panic about not having enough leave Wednesday only to realise I was reading it wrong. Fortunately my boss was patient and gave me a hug realising I was just stressed and not thinking with my normal brain. 

InkPetal

Oh that's lovely. So wonderful you're in such positive environments.

Zoffiel

Hey Kath, it's weird when you get to the point where everything feels like it's unravelling. You don't feel like you have enough hands or energy to do what you need to and even the weather feels like a personal insult. And, of course, your brain is either in overdrive or reverse.
I've got a fair idea what advice you'd give to one of us in the same position. Priorities become important. Do the minimum at work, eat cake if you want to, feed it to everyone else for dinner and deal with the consequences later. As for the birthday party, if there is enough food and plonk, people usually cope, forget about the extras.  
Take a breath, put your feet up and stop looking after everybody else, just for a couple of days. Drive the first leg of the trip to Adelaide if you feel you must then take a pill and sleep the rest of the way. The people around you will step up if you step down. 
Enjoy your new foobs. Marg xxx

Butterfly 40

@primek hi Kath,  I can feel your stress. You must be an amazing nurse caring for your clients. It's a very rewarding profession, but can be stressful at times.

I don't think you are having a "minor" surgery, it's a big deal to get the real boobs after 14 months with the expanders. You can get off this roller coaster after your surgery and start a new chapter in your life. 

I was so upset to hear that my son's prep teacher passed away from ovarian cancer recently. It definitely brings out our fears. 

Family commitments can stress us out. I just had my biopsy done on Wednesday, I am anxious about the results and waiting for double mastectomy. My mum invited 10 people for lunch at my house this Saturday. 

My strategy for stress and anxiety is deep breathing. I feel like all the stress and anxiety are blew out from the base of my chest. 

I hope you had a good night sleep, you feel better today. Have fun at your sister's birthday tomorrow. 

Good luck and all the best for your surgery. Looking forward to hear from you after surgery. 

Lots of love and hugs for beautiful Kath! 

iserbrown

@primek
Kath just wanted to wish you a smooth transition from work to being a patient and recovering quickly.
 
Whenever a dedicated passionate person (like yourself) is due to go on holidays it appears to be a struggle to get away from work.  Add the stress of this being a medical reason and you are being tested to the max.

Your nurse training will take care of the medical side of your emotions, it is the struggle to know that you've left your clients in good hands, the family is taken care of, the party is organised and oh and then there is you!  As others have said it is time to put you first as you get in that vehicle to head to the new foobs!
Take care and sending you a virtual hug

primek

You guys are awesome.

Ne

Kath I hope you can unwind soon and just focus on you for a bit and that you will turn the corner into less stressful days.  I wish I could give you a hug as I can so relate to what is currently going on with you.  I smiled when you mentioned about getting your leave wrong as I did the exact same thing for my planned 3 weeks off starting next week and my boss did exactly what yours did!!! so grateful for the support I get at work.  I've had a couple of melt downs at work at things that normally I would have been able to handle with much better poise.  I burst out in tears at the pharmacy two days ago when I purchased my $280 Prolia injection because they told me the injection is now endorsed by my Dr because I have Osteoporosis which means I get subsidised on them and only need to pay $38 in future!!!  I was so relieved.

It seems like you have done all to make sure all is taken care of at work and I wish you a smooth surgery and recovery.  Big hug to you xxxxxx