Goal Setting
I am trying to manage stress by focussing on small goals but other than counting down the weeks need some ideas. What has worked for you? I will be having active treatment till May 2017 (chemo 6 months, surgery, radio, finish Herceptin) then 5 years of Tamoxifen. When I write it all down it sounds even worse. Any ideas truly appreciated. Thanks, Helen
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Hi Helen
I am planning little getaways here and there to help me get through 14 months of treatment. Not too long and nothing that won't break the bank if we have to cancel at the last minute. For example I am going Glamping with my hubby for 2 nights in a couple of weeks. Am planning a mini reunion with high school friends from 30 yrs ago in Sydney in a few months time. Also thinking about having the whole family, down to Kangaroo Valley for 2 nights. I haven't been away with my brothers in over 43 yrs! Just small goals like that at this stage while I am off work. About 10 yrs ago I used to write for an online community and had quite a large fan base. It gave me so much joy as it was such a supportive experience but I had to stop when real paying work got too much. I am thinking of starting that up again while I have spare time as I am not working. I also have a list of movies and books that I am working my way through - a pile of to do things around the house and of course will start an exercise regime once I can get my breathlessness sorted out.
Hope you find something. Take care, Nadine
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Hi Helen
I think Nadine has some great ideas there. I also had some mini breaks during chemo. I also went even more basic with my little treats for each step of the way. Just getting out to a quiet cafe with a friend on the days you can. My hubby and daughter would take me 'out' for fish and chips (sitting in the car at a lookout because it was winter and my immunity etc) each time my taste buds returned with chemo! For some reason I just craved for hot chips (I normally hate them!).
Try to focus on what you have got through rather than what is ahead. Pat yourself on the back for each small milestone. Know that each day is a day closer to being through this rather than looking at how many are still to come. Sometimes it is best to just do what you can to make yourself as comfortable as possible. Lighten your 'load' and cocoon yourself when the going gets tough.
It is hard but you do get there. I think it is usually fair to say that chemo is probably the hardest part for most people. Dream of what you will do and appreciate when this is over. But also make the most of all the good days. I think most of us have quite a few of those along the way. Deanne xxx
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I focus on getting over one stage at a time. I don't worry about the next stage because I haven't gotten there yet.
I plan such things as my pets maintenance (aquarium fish, birds, dogs) and my house work. I delegate chores to the family and instruction so I am prepared for the times I am not active at home. It does get very boring doing next to nothing and I could push myself but then its just awful as I get overtired and then cannot sleep anyway so I just go with the flow and dream and scheme about what I want to do when I am all finished treatment. Dreams are free and don't cost any money at all.
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Hi Helen, I think all the other suggestions are great, haven't really got much to add. I just took it one treatment at a time through chemo, then after surgery, focused on being well before I started radiotherapy. My 30 radiotherapy sessions went reasonably quickly.
Take care, Lyn
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Thanks Nadine. I think I am putting my whole life in hold but love the getaway ideas. I rang the Otis Foundation today and they have retreats available for free for people with BC. Sensational organisation. I was delighted to book a weekend in early May - something to look forward too and not a financial risk if I am too sick to go.Fingers crossed. Thanks for the ideas. Cheers, Helen
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Thanks for your response Deanne. Years ago I remember spending time looking out at the sea and eating takeaway. My son would only sleep if he was in the car and it was a very peaceful place to be. Thanks for suggesting it - but might have to wait till Winter. Cheers, Helen
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Thanks Brenda. Dreams I can do. I'm so glad I have internet (but of course I try to avoid Dr Google). I was planning a weekend cruise in May for my birthday but will now plan to go to Bendigo instead. There was also a huge family 40th/60th/80th party in the UK in June but I would have only been able to go for 2 weeks so now I can plan a longer visit next year. Best wishes, Helen
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Hi Lyn. Thanks for the reply. Its always nice to hear from people who have been there. Best Wishes, Helen
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Hi Helen,
yes definitely little trips away, booking in with girlfriends for coffee and the like. A couple of other things I did that was fun was I held a jewellery party as a bc fundraiser. We played games and were silly and had a fabulous day. All the girls bought a plate so I didn't have to worry about afternoon tea. I also bought a season matinee ticket with a girlfriend to the local theatre group. I was due to turn 50 and finish treatment within a month of each other, so I planned a luncheon for my birthday and a two week holiday with my husband and a girlfriend in Airlie Beach. I needed something to look forward to. I had all of these little things planned throughout, and even though sometimes I wasn't well enough to go, I still made the effort to plan things. Good luck with the rest of your treatment. Karen xox
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Hi
I had much the same as you (but no radiology) and yes it sounds terrible when you write it all down ( and that's not counting any side effects, which even when small can be a real pain). But three and a half years on (heading for the big 4, then the really big 5 can't be too far away!), it's amazing how much you adapt.
Concentrating on the small things and the day to day things is very practical. But it may also help to imagine the day when it all seems rather far away. Day oncology a thing of the past (terrific as they were), one small tablet a day (I'm on Femara as I am post menopausal, no observed side effects), did my first big overseas trip after treatment last year.
Think of it as looking through a reverse telescope at the minute - everything looks so far away and goes on for so long. But the day will come when it won't.
I found being busy helped a lot (I didn't stop work) but this is really variable. Some people get huge benefit from taking a break. As far as possible, do what works best for you at the time, there never was a better time to be 'selfish'!
Good luck
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