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Nadi's avatar
Nadi
Member
10 years ago

My mum is just not coping with my diagnosis

Hi everyone

My 72 yr old mum is just not coping with the news I have breast cancer. She has had an incredibly difficult life and now having to cope with my dad with dementia her outlook on things is generally negative. Even before I knew I had BC whenever I spoke to her and asked how she was she would always say 'terrible'. Everything is a catastrophe.

Since I told her about my diagnosis she rings me everyday to see how I am, I know she loves me and worries. But the phone calls always make me feel bad, like when she tells me how my siblings are in tears about me (they're always ok when I speak to them). She rings my sons and tells them how good they have to be and that life for all of us is forever changed, and I am not going to be here forever, which only freaks them out. She rings me to tell me about breast cancer stories on the news and that I have to 'switch to channel 9 RIGHT NOW".  

She feels helpless and wants to come to all my appointments but I have told her that I just need space to deal with all that is happening and I keep asking her to be positive for me (I am a really positive person when I am not around my mum). I showed her the tips in the My Journey kit that talk about how to support a loved one with breast cancer. So far, no change. I love my mum. I am the only family that lives near her. She has no social circle so it's just me and I could never cut her out of my life (even for a short while).

But I am struggling with the negativity and the pressure I feel when she says she wants to have some role in my treatment plan. I feel like such a bad daughter because my situation is making her feel bad, but I don't think I can do anything that would ease her worries. I love her heaps, but please, does anyone have any advice? Nadine

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