My mum is just not coping with my diagnosis

Hi Nadine  Does she have anything to do with disability services as a carer?  My daughter is disabled, now lives with another disabled young man.  She has a mild mental retardation.  I have allways been there for her and was very worried about my cancer diagnosis and treatment.  I rang her local area coordinator and had a talk to her.  It was great my daughter could get counselling, did get a "friend" visiting her weekly, the coordinator kept in contact and visited even more often.  Turned out that I didn't need to worry, shes like a teenager, life only concerns her.  All I got was a "great, now I could get BC too" and off she went to annoy her GP to discuss getting herself checked!!!  Gotta love her.

My mother is 91.  She sounds a bit like your mother - the guilt of not being there for her daughter, not being able to help was consuming her. Shes in the country so twice she hassled my brother to bring her down to have lunch with me, but shes 91, she wants to go home after -so a 5hr trip for her and another couple of hours for my brother.  She did settle down quickly - and I rang constantly to give her slightly watered down updates from treatment.  The worse day was when they had hercepton on the news (June/July last year).  I had told her exaggerated figures as to my risk %, and this news report was saying that it only helped even less woman than I was told.  My phone bill went up, but she did settle down.  

And god sorry I've been raving.  But see if disability services can help.  If they are not registered her doctor should be able to do it.  There are a lot of services available for carers.

Pam