Today is my low day
Yesterday I went to work as I wait for my surgery on the 17th, I work with children aged 2 & 3 who have had quite a few different teachers over the past year. I needed to met the new teacher who would be taking care of my kids, i met her today and i realised that my class will be fine without me. This realisation made me realise that i need to take some time for myself.
To add to this realisation i also recieved a phone call from my breast surgeon saying that there are some cancer cells located in the discharge from my right breast, so to add to the removal of my left breast i now have to deal with the removal of some milk ducts in my right breast. whilst i am remaining positive about the whole process it is still hard to take this knock back.
My boss tells me that I have been knocked when i am down. It feels like that, my husband and I have decided to keep this additional information from old children who range from 17 to 5.
All i feel like doing is screaming from the roof saying to the universe " Leave me alone"
I know their are others out there experiencing far worse than me, and i am sorry for the poor me complaining, but after this typing i feel better
Thanks for listening
Comments
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Hi Sharon, this is definitely the place to let out those frustrations as we've all been there, and yes, sometimes it does feel like you can't catch a break! It is a confusing and upsetting time, particularly at the beginning of this ordeal, but it sounds as though you've made a great decision to just concentrate on you and getting well again. That old saying, this too shall pass, is something to remember and hold onto when you have those tough days. Hope tomorrow is a better day for you. Jane xx
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Hi Sharon
Hope you are feeling better about things today. Sometimes you just have to hold on until the crappy days are over. It's a bit like having a hangover, every hour you get through means you are one hour closer to it being over. Life sux sometimes I agree. I often think that I must have a black cloud hanging over my shoulder! You will get through this by being kind to yourself. Keep a journal if that helps, I did. Is interesting to look back upon in the coming days. And posting here on BCNA is also a fantastic type of therapy. I would post here in 2012 and it helped me to vent a lot! Take care and post often. Lots of sympathetic ears here.
xx Natalie
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Hi Sharon,
Yes, there is always someone worse off but we all go through the why me's, the it's not fair, the I don't want to's. And quite frankly, you're entitled to feel like screaming. It's crap. I think acknowledging those feelings is part of the process. Tomorrow is another day and hopefully you will be able to pick yourself up and keep ploughing ahead. If you can't do that, you need to see your doctor and make sure that depression is not setting in. This is definitely the place to get those feelings out. Sometimes all you need is to verbalise/write those feelings out and know that you aren't the only one. Hang in there. Karen xox
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Hi sharon. I would think that most of us ladies have been where you are now and felt as you feel. Its ok to feel this way. Try not to focus too much on the negatives and put all your energy into getting better. Take it all one day and appointment at a time and you will get through it.
Be kind to yourself and take care of you.
Maryrose
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OMG Sharon, that's so much to face all of a sudden, and having to hand over your work to another worker is equally traumatic, even if it temporary. Sounds like your husband is good support for you, my hubby has been marvellous. Hold onto each other tight, and work through this dilemma one step / appointment at a time. I know that I've been through a similar situation with my mastectomy, and was looking down the barrel of a double mastectomy. Sending yo my warmest wishe for this week, I hope that your surgery goes well for you. Trace ??????
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