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"Bubble of Disbelief"

Meggles52
Meggles52 Member Posts: 4
edited September 2016 in Metastatic breast cancer

The ‘bubble of disbelief’ is what I ask my supporters to burst and say ‘tricked ya’ when they ask ‘what can I do to help’. Breast cancer diagnosed just after my 60th birthday in 2012. Right mastectomy and just one chemo treatment which caused complications and I nearly lost my life. As a result, I didn’t proceed with the remaining three; my philosophy being that if it nearly killed me, then it has killed anything else floating around!

My goal was to be clear for five years so I could return to donating blood. Being O-ve and CMV-ve which is only 9% of the population, this particular blood group is safe for premmy babies and high-risk/IC patients. However, this was not to be. Early months of 2015, I developed a blur spot in my eyesight. Eye tests did not detect any issues with the sight itself.  Consult with my doctor resulted in a CT scan which suggested possible metastatic breast cancer. Further tests at the PA confirmed lesions through the brain, lungs and liver.

On Wednesday 20/5, I am to start ten days of intense radiation of the brain due to the fear of brain dysfunction and seizures. It is then immediately into chemo treatments, which I am informed will be ongoing.

What an adjustment! Not only going through the mental anguish of the diagnosis and its implications and complications, but also to the fact that I’ve gone from being a totally independent, working fulltime individual,to being totally dependent on supporters to pick me up for appointments etc. as doctors denied me driving due to the deteriorated eyesight.

There is no choice as to what cards are dealt in this game of life, one just has to play the hand.

Comments

  • TonyaM
    TonyaM Member Posts: 2,833
    edited May 2015

    Hi Meggles52,

    What a shock- you had every reason to believe you'd be ok and get past the 5 year mark.This is what we all fear and I'm so sorry you have to face treatment again.It's such a random, unfair bugger of a disease.I hope the 'not driving'thing is just temporary -I'd hate that.I'm almost 60 yrs old.I had bc in 2003 and then a recurrence in 2010 in the same breast. Luckily,it was caught early again but I sometimes think it's just a matter of time. Sending love and strength to you hun as you start treatments.Tonya x

  • June1952
    June1952 Member Posts: 1,808
    edited May 2015

    Hello Meggles

    You have amazing strength of character and hopefully this will help you to fight through this next phase of this terrible disease.

    As you say, we go along hoping all will be OK then wham.  It is great to read that you have good friends to support you.  To go through the radiation and chemo again is devastating but to be denied the right to drive makes it so much harder.

    The thoughts and prayers of myself and other BCNA network ladies will be with you over the coming months.

    Big hugs

    Summer  :-)

  • Jess_BCNA
    Jess_BCNA Member Posts: 475
    edited May 2015

    Hi Meggles52, As TonyaM mentioned, this must of been a shock for you and i hope you find the support your looking for in the online network. 

    Im not sure if you have a look around, but  there is a group for women living with advanced/secondary breast cancer which you might like to also connect with. You can find the group here: https://www.bcna.org.au/online-network/groups/living-with-advanced--secondary-breast-cancer

    And if you need any help with anything in the network, please just let me know

    ~ Jess

  • Meggles52
    Meggles52 Member Posts: 4
    edited May 2015

    Thank you Tonya, for your words of support, strength and encouragement, much appreciated.

    Megx

  • Meggles52
    Meggles52 Member Posts: 4
    edited May 2015

    Thanks Summer, for your kind words and support and thoughts. The lack of driving is most frustrating; however, I am hoping the radiation will assist in shrinking the lesions to a point where I can drive again. Even if I'm too sick to go anywhere when the rest of the treatment kicks in!! Megx

  • Meggles52
    Meggles52 Member Posts: 4
    edited May 2015

    Thanks Jess. I've requested to join that network, what a great system this is. So much support and encouragement from previous sufferers and survivors! Megx