Do you celebrate Valentine's Day ?
As yet another lonely Valentine's Day comes along I think of how others may be 'celebrating', how circumstances can be so different. Some will be cuddling up and enjoying spending time together. Some will be travelling near and far. There may be flowers and chocolates, plans for a great day out together. Some may be visiting hospitals or nursing homes, battling to even remember each other. Some may just think it is all a beat-up money-grabbing venture. With the new lockdown in Victoria I cannot go to visit my Valentine (he is at his final resting place). However you are 'celebrating', please take the time to appreciate all you have. Please, no political comments, allow others to enjoy this day if they want to celebrate it. Hugs to all, especially those who have no-one with whom to share the fun of the day.
Finding Happiness In The New Normal
I'm in the process of rebuilding my life after BC. My internal and external life. The oncologist says the physical recovery from chemo will take about a year. I'm at the three month mark from the bilateral mastectomy and DIEP reconstruction and feel more or less physically recovered though my belly is still quite tight. I've completed an oncology exercise physiology course which was brilliant. Run by Eastern Health in Melbourne, it was an hour of exercise, specifically tailored for me by an exercise physiologist after an assessment. Each exercise session was followed by an hour of education. That was wide and varied, including Tai Chi, sleep advice, an hour with a hospital pharmacist to ask about your meds, a session on fatigue, Feldenkrais and art therapy. Two sessions a week for seven weeks. The price for ALL of this was $10. Our public health system is incredible. So I feel like I've made a good start in regaining my strength, and I'm looking forward to gaining back more when I begin the ExMed programme in September. And walking more as the weather becomes more conducive! Setting aside the ongoing issue of adjusting to the side effects of a decade on an AI, that's the physical, but what about the mental? The hard bit. It sure is a rollercoaster. And very much a work in progress. Up and down, mood swings, anxiety, hopelessness, sudden joy in the lttle things, pointlessness, fear of recurrence, life with sensationless foobs, frustration, etc etc etc. When I was having chemo I kept a list on my phone of things I'd like to do when I was 'better'. The oft repeated advice to be kind to yourself, and put yourself first more often, rings in my ears. I'm taking it to heart and bit by bit I'm constructing a new normal (not overly fond of that phrase) which contains more for me, and less servitude to the family. Because you know, you could get run over by a bus tomorrow. Or get cancer... So now I hang the expense and buy fresh flowers each week. They make me happy when I look at them. I'm extending my kitchen skills. I don't want to die without knowing how to make good pastry and a cumquat marmalade. I'm doing a preserves & fermentation class later this year! I'm giving back by saying yes to every advocacy opportunity I'm offered. The biggest one in a way is the institution of a monthly day trip. I love to travel. It feeds my soul and makes me happier than anything. Travel doesn't have to be overseas or far away, it just has to be somewhere new. My husband works 50 - 60 hours a week outside the home, often interstate. Come the weekend all he wants is to be at home. Currently I work the same hours in the home. And come the weekend I want to be anywhere else BUT at home! For 19 years I've put his needs above mine on this front but no more. Once a month I'm leaving the house, the laundry, the tidying, the cooking, the cleaning, the music practice, the homework, the catering all behind and heading off to explore my home state. Up to roughly a two hour driving radius, a trip with the aim of exploring, being diverted, a good walk, a rummage in an op shop, a local sight or anything else that might take my fancy. This took a bit of persuading for my beloved to take on board. But he got there and we've had two fantastic day trips so far. The second was today. We went to Wonthaggi and Cape Paterson, two places I'd never been before. Sometimes I'll go on my own, sometimes with my husband and sometimes I'll use the opportunity to have some one on one time with the kids. Useful when you've got four of them I think. Today we took my 12yo nephew, wrenching him from his beloved computer. Initially reluctant and resentful he had a lovely day. We also took the big dog who adored our exploration of the kangaroo filled wetlands between the desalination plant and the wind farm, not to mention the tennis ball throwing on the beach. We came home with some Bitossi from a fantastic vintage market, a delicious bottle of local pinot gris, award winning lamb and mint sausages and a new red leather collar for the dog! I've done over 15,000 steps, had a delicious cup of coffee, ate fish and chips, learned some stuff I didn't know and seen a whole new part of the world. Which is all a very long winded way of saying what are you doing, or planning to do, to find some happiness in your new normal? Spotted today on the back of the door to the ladies loo in the Cape Paterson Tavern: Happy dog at the beach:
Rant- It's all about him!
I need to vent or I will explode. Lately every ailment I get, my hubby more or less says he has the same thing. I remarked a fellow lymphedema sufferer had a paper cut and her arm and hand swelled and she needed to go on antibiotics and all he could say is oh yes those paper cuts are really bad, I had them in the bank job I had and they are awful. I said about another friend with chemo brain on hormone therapy went to the supermarket and couldn't remember why until she noticed the shopping list was in her hand. Hubby- oh yes I forget stuff all the time when I go in a room. If I complain about any of my conditions or how I am feeling, he always has a comparative answer that he has the same thing. I am just so (insert swearword beep) sick of it! Grrrrrrr!
