New diagnosis metastatic breast cancer
Hi, I'm all very new to this being diagnosed only 7 wks ago with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer (triple positive) which has spread to my bones. I am 51 with 2 children. I had only had my first mammogram 18 mths previous which was clear. I felt unwell at work & went to hospital and they found it looking for something else. It has been such an overwhelming process. My family & friends have been amazing but am feeling so very alone.
De novo Mets
It's everywhere, all through my spine, left shoulder , should blade, breast bone, hips and both femurs. Some of them are big . In February I was blissfully happy with my husband , backpack hiking in Tasmanian mountain wilderness for our 1st year anniversary. I just had an annoying sore shoulder and what I thought was normal menopausal aches. The tumour in my boob is tiny, I can't even feel it now I know where it is. It wasn't picked up in mamograms. My blood test are normal. I don't feel sick other than waves of panic. I'm not angry, just terribly terribly sad . Biopsy says it's a HR+ PR+ Her -. The nurses telle that's good and slow growing, lol, tell that to my skeleton! I'm finding it hard to be positive given the extent of the spread. Still waiting to see a specialist and start treatment. My doctor has said no running, cycling or hiking and that I'm lucky I haven't broken my arm or back. I literally don't know what to do with myself. It's like I have to give up my "core" personality
Feeling scared and just a bit angry
Hi, I'm Karen, 61yo, from Victoria. I was diagnosed in September, my birthday actually, I was numb. I had been dealing with a very coercive relationship, narcissism, gaslighting the lot, to be told this news was just too much, I had all sorts going through my head, How do I tell my children? How do I do this? Why me? Everything was so hard to process and even now I'm struggling. I was told it was an Oestrogen based cancer, sorry I cant remember much of that conversation, but 2 Biopsies, the first one they biopsied the wrong lymph node, Pet scan, M.R.I and blood test later to be told sorry its not good news, well having a lump in the breast isnt good news anyway but, I had my right breast and Lymph nodes removed, then to be told its bad news I'm so sorry was another kick in the guts, 35 of my 36 nodes were affected, so onto another more thorough Pet scan, blood test and M.R.I, To get the good news that it wasn't anywhere else in my body. Now I'm preparing for Chemo to start on the 2nd of Jan and I'm absolutely terrified, I have no emotional or any other support at home, even though I'm told everyday that he cares, they say actions speak louder than words well Im yet to see any, my son who is my heart, doesn't know how to deal with this and neither do I. They have just had an Eptopic pregnancy and I'm hurting for them, we were all so excited and happy. I don't know what to do or how I'm going to do it, my living situation is so toxic to my mental health and is impacting on my son and daughter-in-law as well. My partner is trying to get me out of the house and that is something I can't deal with at the moment as I'm trying to deal with being there for my son and daughter-in-law and Chemo, I feel like I'm rambling, my life is a mess, I just don't know what to do. Sorry for the rambling talk I'm not very good at putting things on paper, everything is very disjointed.
Recent diagnosis and new to the group
Good afternoon. My name is Jenny and I was diagnosed with Grade 2 cancer in my right breast on the 17 April. I had lumpectomy surgery on 4 May and a PET/CT scan last week as cancer cells were detected in 1 of 3 lymph nodes and results are pending. We met the Oncologist last Tuesday and due to several risk factors, chemotherapy has been recommended as the next step and I commence on 12 June starting with fortnightly infusions for the first 8 weeks then weekly for the next 12 weeks. Radiation will follow as they were not able to get the level of clear margins with the surgery and no further surgery is possible. Then if all this goes onto hormone blocking medication for 5 years as I'm ER positive, PR negative and HER2 negative. I'm feeling OK negotiating the roller coaster of procedures, tests and waiting for results and adjusting. At this stage, I've accepted what is happening and learning to live my best life with this diagnosis now and in the future. Thank you for taking the time to read to my story and appreciate the insights others can give from their lived experience. Kind regards, Jenny
Struggling tonight
I know I'm not alone in this journey but tonight I'm really feeling quite lonely. Just wondering what other people do when they are feeling this way even when they might be surrounded by supportive family and friends. Night-time is always the hardest because I live alone and have little to distract me.
Waiting, waiting, waiting + frustration
I’m sorry, I’m really making the most of the solidarity here. It’s been almost 3 weeks since my diagnosis (43yr old, Grade 2, ER+ PR+ HER- mixed lobular/ductal) & I’m usually a super patient person, but I’m feeling quite down. I go for my PET scan & MRI tomorrow morning, early. I’m then seeing the surgeon again next week for hopefully a bit of a plan for treatment. I’m sick of not being able to plan or commit to anything. I’ve kept working as much as I can, but I’m getting sick of being told about friends of friends who have died of BC, or at the other end that ‘it’s so treatable & nothing much to worry about’. This morning I had my first real big cry, which made my 10yo daughter cry too, which made me feel worse. I cried because she has a grotty cough & so we had to take her with us for the 4 hr trip to our nearest imaging place & not send her to school or expose our neighbours to her germs. I cried because my oldest daughter had to stay behind. I cried because my oldest daughter turns 13 very soon & wants to be excited & plan her birthday, then she flips & apologises & says ‘don’t worry about getting me anything Mum’. I really know now how it feels to feel like a burden. I told my husband I should have just gone alone this trip, but he insisted on coming to keep me company, which I do appreciate. I’m so lucky really to be surrounded by so much love & well-intentioned support, but I think reality is really starting to sink in. I’m already sick of doing the 8hr round trip for the nearest cancer care, yet this is only the start. How do I decide what surgery is best? I don’t care much about my appearance, & I think a mastectomy & going flat makes the most sense, causes the least disruption to my family, but I feel quite sad still about losing my breast. Ugh. Anyway, no need to reply, just needed to get this off my chest.Support with coping
I've just been diagnosed with invasive breast cancer NST, I haven't been told what stage or what kind yet. I'm 27 and this has come as a major shock to my family and I. I'm struggling with how to cope, major low feelings and significant worries about what the future brings, especially given my age. I'm hoping to be provided with some reassurance or advice or tips... or anything lol Thanks so muchNew diagnosis triple negative BC
Hi all, I'm having a bit of difficulty reaching out to talk to anyone going through a similar experience - I'm 27 and just diagnosed with triple BC. I've joined the young persons group and awaiting to join triple negative group. I'm in the limbo period of waiting to be referred to oncologist and awaiting appt with the surgeon, so I really don't know anything yet. I suppose I'm just wanting reassurance and support from someone that has go e through a similar experience or maybe if anyone has any recommendations for other places I can go to for support, I've contacted a breast cancer nurse, but I haven't heard back yet. Thank you!
Good-bye boob photos - your ideas?
I've spent a month wrestling with the information about DCIS, and my decisions about what to do next. Starting with a flyer for the BCNA, given to me by BreastScreen NSW, that seemed to indicate that DCIS is not straight-up, bald-faced cancer. I spent the first 2 weeks after diagnosis trying to get my head around concepts and terminology. Is it life-threatening? No. Does it mean you're more likely to get invasive cancer at some point? Yes. Can you sit on it, and see what happens? Yes, if you like playing Russian roulette. The next 2 weeks making appointments with specialists... A breast surgeon: get it out. A plastic surgeon: we have marvellous folding tables and can recreate your boob from other bits of your body. For my A-B cup delights? No thanks, way too much hassle. A doctor who has had a bilateral mastectomy: you don't want to deal with radiotherapy and chemo, get it out. My doctor friend who uses complementary therapy: it's about survival, and you're young with a lot of stressors in your life, get it out. A breast surgeon and top-level researcher: we can't force you to do anything but getting it out is the best idea. And so the expert consensus, even though I feel fine, I am potentially fine, and I may remain potentially fine, is that I should cut out my very small boob - including the 6.1cm of low-grade DCIS - and get on with it. So that is what I've lined up for later this month, even though a vain and fatalistic version of myself is writhing around inside me, clammering for attention so I can hear it scream STOP. On the pro-mastectomy side: - I'm small-breasted so this is not such a big deal in terms of lop-sidedness - Survival, maybe - I can take up archery with fewer complications - Maybe it's time to go #braless4ever On the con side: - I'm cutting out a boob - Scars, pain and zombie-time - Dressing myself might be a bit of a nuisance So you see, there are more pros. Anyway, as part of saying goodbye to my booby, I've planned a pre-surgery photoshoot. Candid, B&W, naturalistic in my home. Does anyone have any ideas for poses, props and backgrounds that would work? Or good places to look for inspiration? I've tried Google-Imaging but I don't like to spend too much of my life scrolling through porn sites... which is what happens when you search terms like topless, semi-nude, female body art. B) :s Thanks in advance!
New mum struggles just got more challenging
Hi everyone! It’s lovely to meet you all despite this being the location. I was officially diagnosed on Tuesday but I’ve suspected it was breast cancer for over a week since the mood at my biopsy seemed urgent (and extremely sympathetic). I’m 34 years old and first time mum to an awesome little 11 month old boy. I’ve been struggling being the default parent because of the surprisingly small amount of help my partner offers. I thought we’d be more of a team but I let him get away with doing the bare minimum early on and now it’s slipped into a pattern that isn’t sustainable. I struggle with resenting him and it’s definitely affecting our relationship. I feel especially snappy and reactive now. This diagnosis is extra troubling as I have almost lost all faith in him stepping up more. How did others navigate their parenthood and relationship/marriage challenges while dealing with their cancer journey?
