Today's feelings in poetry
Lucky So lucky, people say. That they caught it when they did That it hasn’t spread That they got it all That I have insurance So, so lucky. That my friend told me about her cancer That I finally moved my arse and Went and had that mammogram That I live in the lucky country So lucky That my prognosis is good That my job will be there for me That I am surrounded by family and friends With their love, soup and casseroles. Lucky. That my new set are perkier Smaller, Scar-rier, numb-ier. A bit lopsided Like me. Some days though, I just feel A tiny bit Unlucky.
Single and still dealing with the complications of breast reconstruction and radiation
Hi I’m seeking insight and any comparative stories from any other women that have suffered from having complications with their reconstruction. After having a reconstruction 12 months ago following 6 months of chemo and 6 weeks of radiation I have just had to have my implant on the radiated breast removed. My reconstruction was purely silicon implant as the surgeon did not use any of my back or stomach tissue. In the last 12 months I have had Lymphatic fluid seepage from the right breast as the wound refused to heal completely. This occurred on and off throughout the last year and both me and my surroundings were hoping this would fix itself. Unfortunately in December 2018 I got an infection in the breast which has been treated with antibiotics. The infection came on very quickly and caused 50-100 mls of fluid to seep from my breast. This eventually stopped after 2 weeks. However a month later and the process repeated itself. The solution that has been presented to me to fix this is to remove the implant for 3 months. Clean the area to rid the infection. Which I underwent 3 days ago. The next stage is another surgery in 3 months to do a last dorsi tranplant to the radiated area to insert healthy tissue and replace the implant. The scar should then heal properly as it will be non-radiated skin. I am to,d this op will take 6-8 weeks to recover. So after 2 years of going through what I thought was my breast cancer journey I now have another 6 months where it is leading the direction of my life, stopping me from working, costing me money I don’t have and pausing any progress in my life. I have been told by the doctors and nurses that this is all very common. Is it? I’ve not met anyone who has had this happen to them. Im 48 yrs old. I’m single. I have no children. I also have vaginal atrophy and absolutely no sex drive. I’m getting very tired of the uphill battle and getting tired of being told to be strong. This will be over soon and I’ll get through it. I’m sick of it and have also had to deal with a lot of grief in the last 10 yrs. My breast cancer journey started In 2008 when I was only 37. I haven’t had any support groups to help or relate to throughout this. I have had no-one my age to compare my journey or health experiences with. I’ve not had a breast care nurse to support me through any of it either. I have been the captain of my ship the whole way through this and I feel like it’s sinking. When I received the BCNS journal when this all began I saw there was only 2 pages dedicated to single people. The rest of the book was dedicated to families and their support group. As a single person I feel isolated and left to the side. its much harder to find a purpose to wade through all of this when you are alone. Of course we have friends and a social circle but as I’m constantly reminded it’s not the same as having a husband or children to brighten your day. The commitment is not the same. Im looking for help. Can anyone out there please relate to any of my story, my experiences both emotionally and physically. I was advised to look on here and give this a go so I really hope I’m not wasting my time.