The story so far...

I've never really known how important routine mammograms were until the events of the last couple of weeks have occured.

I recall a conversation I had with Mum only a couple months ago – Breast cancer had a lot of media attention around the time – with Angelina Jolie’s double mastectomy and the Mother’s Day fun run coming up - I questioned whether she had ever had a mammogram?  Her response was said with ease and with no sign of alarm as she calmly told me that she had them on a routine basis.

I naively questioned the discomfort of this procedure and what was involved. Looking back on this conversation, I feel ridiculous and potentially insensitive for even asking such a question. Instead why didn’t I ask - how she felt about breast cancer? Was she ever worried? What was our family history?  I now realise that the little discomfort this routine procedure may bring, is nothing compared what the results may betray to that person – whether it provides relief of now knowing that you’ve been granted the all clear (this round) or in the case of our family the fearful results of finding something suspicious.

As it turns out, Mum had her last mammogram in April 2012. Here she was advised that due to inconsistencies with the tissue and family history of breast cancer it would be recommended that she had regular mammograms - instead of every 2 years, it was suggested she come back every 12 months.

Now, as us girls often joke, Mum’s hearing is not always the best (selective maybe?), but I thank my lucky stars that she listen this time and went back for her routine check about 12 months later. Mum went for her routine mammogram towards the end of May 2013.

She states now that she started to feel anxious when they kept her in the waiting room for almost 2 hours following the mammogram. The doctor came and saw her to advise that they could see something suspicious and that they would like to take a biopsy. Apparently 20% of Mammograms detect something suspicious & 80% of these come back as no concern. They took the biopsy on the Wednesday & advised that she would get the results back within a week.

I rang Mum everyday (annoyingly?) enquiring whether she had heard anything – her response was the same each day – “Not yet, but I’m sure it will be fine. I’ll call you if we hear anything.” This response did not prevent me from calling her the next day… only to hear the same response again. I was worried & I could tell that Mum was too (naturally).

The 5th of June 2013 was a day that shook our families world. Mum had her follow up appointment with her GP at 2pm and we all anxiously waiting for the results. My phone rang at 2.30pm & it was Ray – although he was ringing for a different reason (to pick my niece up from school), I could hear Mum crying in the background & I knew the news was not good.

Mum rang when she was on her way home from the Doctors & suggested we go around there after we pick Isla up from school. My mind was in overdrive as I was trying to prepare myself for what I was about to be told. I could tell from the look on Mum’s face when we walked in that she was upset. She attempted small talk but ultimately we all knew where the conversation would lead too. Mum then relayed what the Doctor had advised her… There was bad news… but it wasn’t the worst news. The biopsy revealed she had breast cancer, however they were optimistic that they had caught it early.

The Dr provided mum with a histology of her results and information from the breast cancer website. The results revealed that that Mum had INVASIVE DUCTUAL CARCINOMA – this translates to cancer that has broken through the wall of the milk duct and begun to invade the tissue of the breast. The cancer was approx 1cm square in diameter and was situated at 1pm (from the nipple) and approx 5cm deep. Like with any other event that occurs, I went into research mode. I googled every term in the histology & sought any story similar to ours in a hope to predict what was around the corner.

However there was so many “what if” scenarios that I fell in to the trap of information overload. Every persons experience was different. In saying that, my googling actions were not conducted in vain -  I discovered many support websites/groups such as  bcna.com.au, McGrath foundation, & the Cancer Council Australia. We (& more importantly Mum) was not alone on this Journey…

The Dr scheduled her into a surgeon – Liu Ming Schmidt – for Tuesday 11th June. Lucy and I attended the appointment with Dr Schmidt. She spoke very confidently and like Mum’s GP she sounded very optimistic about the prognosis. She advised that they will cut the cancer out and this would provide more information on its stage, exact size etc plus assist in determining the treatment (if any) required. She advised that during surgery they will also conduct a biopsy of the lymph nodes to determine whether the cancer had spread.   Mum was scheduled for Surgery the following Wednesday. It would be an all day schedule which would include a Lymphocintogram, a hook wire procedure and then finally the actually surgery to remove the cancer & conduct sentinel lymph node biopsy.

Our first stop was Albury Base Hospital where the Lymphocintogram was conducted. This is a technique used to track the paths from the breast to the lymph nodes under the arms. They injected Mum with blue dye and then watched it move into the lymph vessels. This would allow the surgeon to identify where the lymph nodes are for a sample to be removed & tested. We then made our way to the Albury Private where Mum was admitted & taken for her Hookwire procedure. The hookwire is where they guide a fine wire into the abnormality to assist the surgeon to know what to remove. Sitting in the waiting room with Mum, Lucy & I were the only ones in plain clothes. Around us were 3 other ladies, anxiously waiting in their bath robes. Each politely attempted short talk, primarily mentioning the weather and how cold the hospital was. As we all fell silent, James Morrison’s song “I won’t let you go” played on the radio. I looked around me & felt the tears hit my eyes. Although the week leading up was massive (not to mention emotional/anxious/sleepless) the enormity of where we were & why we were sitting there hit me. I looked at Mum & wished I could make it all go away. At this stage of the day, the McGrath foundation Nurse, Jude arrived. Her support so far has been amazing & the information she has provided has not only been educational however has helped put our minds (particularly Mums) at ease when confusion or worry sets in.

Jude went in with Mum & walked us back to day surgery. She explained what to expect and gave Mum a “show bag” with cushions, seatbelt holders & lovely pamper products – just an extra little touch to assist with Mums recovery.

Lucy & I waited… I was so grateful to have her there with me, not only for her knowledge of the medical/surgery/hospital but for her support/empathy/humour. Mum’s surgery took approx 2 hours 15mins. We were advised she was in recovery. They took us through to day surgery where she had been seated – she looked pale & unwell. The general anesthetic had an ill affect on her & made her feel nauseas & lethargic. We were in there for approx 1hour before the surgeon came & saw us.

Liu Ming advised that the surgery went well however it was deeper than what she first anticipated. She predicted mum would feel quite sore as in an attempt to get clear margins she had to cut into the chest wall. She was advised that she would not know more about size/lymphnodes/stage etc until the results came back. A follow up appointment was made for 10 days later the 02/07/2013 at 2pm. It’s accurate to say that the day of Mums surgery was one of the most difficult days I’ve had to face. It was hard on all of us… it was a day that I never wanted to experience however at the same time there was no where I would have rathered to be (considering the circumstances).

You never think you need reminding of just how important your family is, but its days like these that really make you realise how much you can’t live without them. After surgery Mum was obviously in pain & highly uncomfortable however I think it was the battle of the mind which affected her the most.

There were many sleepless nights, plenty of cups of teas & lots of talking.  It was a rollercoaster & although there were good & bad days, each day she was feeling (& looking) better physically and mentally.

It’s amazing how we find mechanisms to adjust & ways to continue on with everyday life even if in same way, shape or form we are disabled. Physically, Mum found what activities she could do with ease and which ones exhausted her (like doing the dishers… haha). Mentally, she found ways to attempt to ease the worrying too – becoming informed, asking questions, keeping a journal, reading (even just one page) & talking. Although I don’t think any mechanism worked 100% (there’s still sleepless nights) & may have took a bit of trial and error  - it certainly assisted in attempting to make every day easier.

Our next step is the surgeon appointment on the 02/07/2013. We are all thinking positively about the results & praying for good news (hey… it all helps?)