Thanks everyone for your helpful responses here, it made all the difference!
I'm home now, but because I'm alone with two hopeless (but loving) young adult children I asked to stay until the drains could be removed. So I came home Day 7.
That worked perfectly for me. We've already had some struggles adjusting at home, and I just wouldn't have coped earlier. I'm much tougher at Day 7!
I got my two little pillows from the BC nurse on my first morning after surgery, and they have worked as well as a tablet for pain relief! My armpits are so bruised, and with these pillow tucked under my arms I feel I can relax and drop my shoulders and let my arms hang naturally which makes such a difference. I couldn't be without them.
I loved my light shawl. It helped when my temp was funny in the air con. It helped enormously when my dear boss visited - I wore it like a looped scarf to hide the concave chest a I have now. I even felt confident enough with the scarf over my chest to walk down to the hospital cafe at Day 5 and buy myself a cappuccino to take back to the ward. The other Godsend, those little home-made bags for your drains, made this possible too. Day 6 I took myself for a walk in the hospital gardens like this. Kids even talked to me, so I mustn't have looked that scary.
Unfortunately, my own son (17) is struggling to be around me. I've got the hospital social worker involved so we will take up the help available there I hope. I can't force him to go.
Both my kids are very angry with their Dad, who left 5 years ago and has been a bit dismissive when the kids have mentioned my cancer.
It's all complicated but very very simple at the same time, isn't it?