No reconstruction after double mast

❤️❤️❤️@tonyaM

I tend to think that with this bc journey you don’t know how you are going to feel/react about each step until it happens.I had a major meltdown whilst signing chemo consent forms and then when I first saw my mastectomy I was like oh well.
I couldn’t predict my reactions or emotions which rattled me abit.I do know that seeing my mangled chest is a constant reminder of cancer.But once I’m dressed I forget about it. I’m not out n proud or see it as a battle scar of how I heroically survived bc.It Just is what it is and I hide it as best as possible and get on with life.Like @Sister,clothes shopping can sometimes bring a tear when you have to put that lovely top with a low neckline back.Nothing though, when compared to being free of cancer.

Hey, @Zoffiel  -  I am not very computer-literate - how do I find your story ?  Anne

Hi @Marketta - I just wanted to wade in...the 'Choosing Breast Reconstruction' group might be a good place to ask around as these are women who have opted for recons and have a wealth of experience to share.

My only feedback in the interim, though, is that opting for breast reconstruction is nothing about vanity or the superficial things. It's most certainly not an easy option either.

And, as @Sister says - taking time to make a decision that is right for you (and no one else) is a good thing to do.

Just remember @Marketta  You don't have to be rushed into a decision!

@Sister, your right. It’s the whole honestly with self thing. I’ll admit I put my bathers on yesterday and looked in the mirror and admired my curves and thought how I would feel without them. I googled images on no reconstruction and tried to picture those images as me. 
if I choose no reconstruction I know it won’t be easy in fact I think it will be mentally as hard as DIEP would be physically hard and it would force me To have allot of growth in the self love department to work through but I see such a deeper beauty in that. ( if I can achieve that though)
I think to go without the recon is such a brave thing. It symbolises to me a depth of self love and acceptance of the journey you have been on and how strong you must be to move forward and focus on the more important things in life. The less sufferficial things. I often have moments like you where I grieve my “old self” so many changes and forced changes, but gratitude after for life.
@sister next time you pic up a top and have a tear, think of me and admirable I am of you and how I think your amazing and your pretty awesome. 
Lovibg yourself for you you are, rather than what you look like is soooo powerful to me.
i think if I’m honest I want to choose no reconstruction, I think I’d be prouder of myself but my vanity is getting in the way and that annoys me because it’s not something I can easily reverse.
thank you so much for your reply it helped me realise allot xxx you are wonderful @sister 

@marketta I would suggest writing a pros and cons list and being honest with yourself.  Why do you want recon and how you would feel without it.  Be realistic about what you can expect the recon to look and feel like.  Do some soul searching about how you will feel without it.  Sometimes, writing it down can clarify your thoughts.  

I was reflecting yesterday, as I was changing into my bathers in the public area of the changerooms at the pool, how little that bothers me (and I thought it would bother me a lot).  I have been known to shed a tear though as I put the slightly low-cut strappy top back on the rack at the shops.

The cost is because I need 2 plastics. 🙄 $8,000 each and going private so I can do it quickly. 
ill check the photos out.
thanks x 

I've put some pics up in the Choosing Breast Reconstruction group @Marketta. They are not for the faint hearted but my result, as I'm reliably informed by a series of surgeons, is outside the 'normal.' And, of course, a result of my keloid scar response rather than any poor surgical practices or lack of proper assessment. Weird, as I'm covered in chunky scars which all come with interesting stories (I bloody hate barbed wire and car accidents)
Anyway, like you, I want to do the cartwheels. OK,  I haven't done a cartwheel since I was in my 30s, but I want to be able to halter break yearlings and cut wood, drive for hours and dig holes. I can, but it hurts like all fuck. I'm never going to get better,  I wish I'd reassessed my options earlier. But there was no one to ask who' wasn't at risk of damaging  someones reputation. Theirs or one of their colleagues.
Regardless of the cost (which sounds on the high end of extortionate) talk to to another specialist . And go with your gut. Mxx

Thank you @Flaneuse