Forum Discussion
Mastectomy this Thursday..
I am booked in for a single mastectomy (followed by chemo and radio) this Thursday. I tried to discuss with my surgeon the possibility of removing both breasts at the same time, one being preventative (as this is what I would really want) but she dismissed it. I have asked again yesterday and she said she wouldn’t do it as it may delay treatment and because of covid, there is a need for beds in hospital.. plus there is double the risk for complications.
While I originally accepted her reasoning, I am now working myself up as I am upset that this option was not fully considered and the reasoning do not make all that sense to me. There are pros and cons of course..
Anyone been in a similar situation and/or had a second mastectomy later? How long after you finished treatment were you able to have another surgery?
I do not want to delay surgery this week, but I also want to do the right thing for myself..
While I originally accepted her reasoning, I am now working myself up as I am upset that this option was not fully considered and the reasoning do not make all that sense to me. There are pros and cons of course..
Anyone been in a similar situation and/or had a second mastectomy later? How long after you finished treatment were you able to have another surgery?
I do not want to delay surgery this week, but I also want to do the right thing for myself..
55 Replies
- I have never ever seen any comments in here of women regretting having a DMX. Some even choose to stay flat afterwards and some choose reconstruction. I am not sure about what is required regarding expanders etc and later a person is choosing reconstruction, nor the regime around radiotherapy. Has your surgeon discussed this with you?
Absolutely, all our circumstances are different and I also always said if I needed one breast removed I wanted both gone. Now that I know a DMX is on the table I feel much better and free to make the best choice for me.Keeping_positive1 said:Try not to overthink it, but don't worry I am sure many of us do that. I had 2 months from diagnosis until surgery, and I didn't toss any of my ideas around with anyone, but from the start I wanted a DMX if I was told I only needed a single. I still haven't changed my ideas in that regard. We can only give you our opinions and why we chose what we chose. Don't get too caught up other peoples ideas though. To be honest I never even discussed with anyone why I would have had a DMX, I only told the surgeon quite firmly what I wanted.
Read all our comments if you find them usual, but don't be swayed, because we each make our own best decisions according to our own circumstances. You know what is right for you, and there a right answer.
In the beginning I had some well meaning friends/acquaintances tell me I would be best to keep working and take my mind off things, lol...... nah, they weren't going to come and help cook for me nor run my home whilst I worked my butt off and went to the zillion tests I needed.
My point is don't listen to what others think is best for YOU. Take care, and keep commenting here and reading our comments, but do what you need to do for YOU. xo
Of course, if everyone says to me they regretted doing a DMX I may think about it even harden, but knowing that so many of you thinks like me makes me feel even better about my decision. ❤️
I feel you.. I have taken 6 months off work and omg I am so happy about it. It is making this whole thing so much less daunting!- I love a bit of scientific evidence base for decision making and a research so much in my spare time. However when making surgery decisions for myself, it goes beyond quantifiable benefits/risks.
I had a cancer than would typically be removed by lumpectomy. But I chose a skin sparing mastectomy (and immediate recon).
I had a few reasons, but first and foremost was anxiety. Thankfully my care team were respectful of this being a valid reason for my choice.
I know that I only reduced my recurrence risk by a tiny amount and that the mortality rate is essentially the same with either option. But stress is scientifically shown to cause disease. No one would be able to easily quantify the overall health benefits of me sleeping peacefully each night, versus constant thoughts of doubt and worry had a chosen a lumpectomy instead. I knew the statistics, I knew a lumpectomy would be adequate, but anxiety is a fickle beast who doesn't tend to like logic! - It’s actually not strange at all that you’re overthinking it. I do the same. It’s the fear. You never know if you’re making the right decision, and you doubt yourself every time in case things go wrong. But things can go wrong no matter how much you plan and no matter how much something could be the right decision. We’re not in control of that. And you’re even more scared because you’re going against the surgeon’s wishes. But that just shows how little control we have over decisions about our own bodies. We feel guilty and doubtful whenever we go against the doctor, and it shouldn’t be like that. We should always be given full control by our doctors, so we never have to feel doubtful. This is why I’m so annoyed by your surgeon’s initial hesitancy to do a double. She now has you feeling doubtful and scared, even though those options were given to women for years prior.I was diagnosed at 39, no family history and no reason to suspect I had it. I had had an ultrasound in 2016 which showed a little cyst and nothing more. I asked for another one in 2018 and was denied. (Waste of resources). I found a lump end of 2019, which then turned out to be 2.5 lumps in my right, AND another lump in my left. All positive. I had the mri with contrast before surgery, which basically showed every possible type of lump under the sun in my breasts, including DCIS. So my surgeon opted for the double. It was not that much riskier as I said, plus I had expanders inserted. I recovered quite quickly and didn’t need too many painkillers either. I did all the physio exercises I was given in hospital. I also did qigong prior to surgery and as much as I could afterwards. I took long walks, even with those dreaded drains, and put music on and danced to it as much as I could, even one day post surgery. Prep and mindset are very important. You’re young, and there’s no reason you shouldn’t reach very old age. Heaps of women in our situation have. But you have to be your own advocate, and always listen to your intuition. It always knows best for you.
- I told the surgeon I will postpone the surgery to next Wednesday. I figure that if I change my mind again I can always say so and at least I given myself a few more days to think knowing that a double is now on the table..
Thank you again for your support and looking forward to reading more of your stories in the coming days
@Keeping_positive1 that is one of my main reasons too. I am not going to rush into reconstruction so would rather be flat than lopsided. I also do not wear bras and with a single mastectomy I will have to to be ‘even’.. - Try not to overthink it, but don't worry I am sure many of us do that. I had 2 months from diagnosis until surgery, and I didn't toss any of my ideas around with anyone, but from the start I wanted a DMX if I was told I only needed a single. I still haven't changed my ideas in that regard. We can only give you our opinions and why we chose what we chose. Don't get too caught up other peoples ideas though. To be honest I never even discussed with anyone why I would have had a DMX, I only told the surgeon quite firmly what I wanted.
Read all our comments if you find them usual, but don't be swayed, because we each make our own best decisions according to our own circumstances. You know what is right for you, and there a right answer.
In the beginning I had some well meaning friends/acquaintances tell me I would be best to keep working and take my mind off things, lol...... nah, they weren't going to come and help cook for me nor run my home whilst I worked my butt off and went to the zillion tests I needed.
My point is don't listen to what others think is best for YOU. Take care, and keep commenting here and reading our comments, but do what you need to do for YOU. xo - I just read you are going private, that would be why you are already booked in for 2 nights. The public system kicks people out earlier. :)
From the beginning I had said if one boob has to go, I want both to go. My reasoning is because I don't want to be lopsided, that is what I told the surgeon, and he would have removed both if that is what I wanted. Turned out because of location of the tumour in both breasts that I could have lumpectomies, so I went with that option on both breasts and the lymph node clearance. I was told that if I had both breasts removed it doesn't mean the cancer wouldn't return, but that was not I was focussing on, my thoughts were more about not having one large breast to lug around and cause more back problems because of lopsidedness.
For me it had nothing to do with whether cancer would return or not elsewhere or in the other breast. When we know our own reasons for wanting a DMX then we have made the best decision we can for ourselves. - Thank you all for your incredible support.
I am 36 so hopefully have many many years ahead of me, which however also mean more time and risk of another cancer.Have some family history of breast cancer and still have to do the gene test. I only discovered this one by chance as I wanted an ultrasound done (I am not even sure why). I have no lump and the ultrasound and biopsy showed a 1 cm cancer. PET scan and MRI showed that there are actually multiple cancers or 1 big 8cm one. There are traced on the lymph nodes too so those will be removed.
I know there will be routine test done on the good breast moving forward, but.. what am I going to do with only 1 breast?
I always thought I wanted to remove both if the time came and I am just worried I will regret it if there are indeed complications, but I guess that is normal. Funny how convinced I was this morning until the surgeon said yes we can do it and now I am overthinking it.. - Don’t be scared just because it’s not happening tomorrow. All decisions made at this time will be scary. That’s because you’re in an extremely stressful situation. Waiting til next Wednesday is not a long time, if that’s what you really want. Don’t read too many articles, as I said. Do it if you feel it’s right. Surgeons are definitely focusing on more breast conserving surgery these days, and that’s good too. Then again, you might not like being lopsided. Just think about what you want, and what would bring you peace.
- @Fernweh, I had lumpectomies in both breasts, but only because they told me I didn't need a mastectomy in either. But if I was told I needed a mastectomy in one breast I was saying I would want both removed, that was before I knew what was required, but the surgeon would have taken both off he said if that is what I wanted. I used to be small breasted, in my younger days, but because I am now large breasted I really wouldn't have wanted to be lopsided or weighed down on one side, that was my main reasoning behind having them both off if only one needed to go.
Each person and case is different, but I had strong feelings about what I would have wanted, and that was and still is not to be lopsided, I have enough back issues as it is. All the best and when we know our own reasons for wanting the DMX it will be the correct decision for you. I wish you all the best. xo
