Forum Discussion
Friends say the dumbest things
I have chosen to tell a select few friends for support but now wondering about a couple of those. I guess time will tell who is who on this with me. I was feeling emotional 3 days after surgery and p...
@Cath62 - some people's reactions & comments can be very hurtful - usually said more out of ignorance, than malice. Some even think that by association with you, they may also 'catch it' - so they stay away! Others don't know what to say, so say nothing, which is equally as hurtful. Her comment about joining a support group tho, was spot on!
It's great that you've joined us here, as you can put anything past us & we won't be surprised, upset or rude! Cos 'we get it'. My husband had most of his stomach removed 10 years ago from cancer & as his 'carer', I thought I 'knew' everything there was about cancer & chemo ... until I 'got it' myself - and I felt like I had a sledge hammer to my head! Only then did I fully understand. Two & a half years later - I am still learning ....
Your friend 'structure' will surely change over the course of your treatment - some will step up to the mark & be marvellous support, whilst others will go into hiding & you'll wonder what you ever saw in them as a friend. Some will bring joy to you when they arrive to visit you, others will give you joy when they leave!!
Try & keep your sense of humour - it is one of the essentials (I reckon) on getting thru this shit. We have a few 'funny'
threads here, that are well worth a look!! ;) Some of us have a rather 'dark humour'!!
Also, try & keep busy doing things that you love doing! Try something new - we have some very talented & creative art & craft people here (check out the Craft thread!)
I noticed your 'ju-ju' comment early in the thread - are you from South Africa or Zimbabwe? My husband grew up in Zim & lived in Sth Africa as well!
Take care, try not to be too upset about silly friends' comments .... and just look after YOU xx
It's great that you've joined us here, as you can put anything past us & we won't be surprised, upset or rude! Cos 'we get it'. My husband had most of his stomach removed 10 years ago from cancer & as his 'carer', I thought I 'knew' everything there was about cancer & chemo ... until I 'got it' myself - and I felt like I had a sledge hammer to my head! Only then did I fully understand. Two & a half years later - I am still learning ....
Your friend 'structure' will surely change over the course of your treatment - some will step up to the mark & be marvellous support, whilst others will go into hiding & you'll wonder what you ever saw in them as a friend. Some will bring joy to you when they arrive to visit you, others will give you joy when they leave!!
Try & keep your sense of humour - it is one of the essentials (I reckon) on getting thru this shit. We have a few 'funny'
threads here, that are well worth a look!! ;) Some of us have a rather 'dark humour'!!
Also, try & keep busy doing things that you love doing! Try something new - we have some very talented & creative art & craft people here (check out the Craft thread!)
I noticed your 'ju-ju' comment early in the thread - are you from South Africa or Zimbabwe? My husband grew up in Zim & lived in Sth Africa as well!
Take care, try not to be too upset about silly friends' comments .... and just look after YOU xx