Update on latest events

I actually live in Gracemere which is the beef capital of Australia.  It is near Rockhampton but you are excused because there is a suburb in Brisbane named Gracemere.   I am about 1 hour from Biloela.  I've got lots of questions for the medical oncologist today.  I had an ECG prior to chemo and will be asking for another one now that I am finished just to compare.  I will never have chemo again - thems fighting words I know but someone will have to be very convincing to get me back there.  My surgeon told me yesterday that he likes the portacath (Penny) to stay in for 2 years after treatment just in case more chemo is needed!!!!  Like hell I thought.   Radiation is a breeze compared to the side effects of chemo.  I know that the side effects of chemo are most likely gone after a certain period and that some of the radiation ones are permanent (lympodema - rare) but I would always opt for radiation over chemo.  Today I am actually starting to feel a bit okay but still no energy or interest in doing anything.  I'm usually unstoppable but someone has let all my steam out and it is going to take a while to put it all back apparently.  I feel like such a dragon still sitting here in my pj's with nothing done.  It really is a mental thing to get myself going each day.  "Enjoy" your stay in hospital - at least you don't have to feel bad sitting in your pj's.  Must get that mental thing happening before I disentergrate. XLeonie

Ladies, I am about to vent! I need to! Here goes - I am sitting in hospital with too much time on my hands and kind of waiting for the phone to go or an email 'How are you Mum?" NO not happening!  My second eldest son travelled an extreme journey to visit me last week (bless him) - a little bribery of the air fair helped, but hey it was worth every cent! The other four children I have to jab, chide, beg to get a lousy email or amazingly a phone call.  What did you do wrong as a parent I hear you wondering, well ladies I was firm but fair, and gave lots of cuddles and hugs, and most of all I was there when they came home from school!   I was talking about this to a friend the other day and she said she gets the same 'too busy' signal from her childen and she wondered where in the dickens did she screw up - I said to her, "You were and still are a fantastic and wonderful Mother' you stayed home for your kids the same as I, you kissed their tears away, smacked their bums when they deserved it, but hugged them and told them bed-time stories.....if you screwed up, then so did I, and I don't believe that for one minute.   We were taught to respect and honour our elders, whether we liked it or not and it was firmly ingrained in us from childhood.  My Mother was not the most endearing person in the world, but my husband and I left everything behind in Queensland to travel down to Victoria to be with her in her last days, no regrets!  Well ladies, give me your input...............need it darlings x x x Josie

Ladies, I am about to vent! I need to! Here goes - I am sitting in hospital with too much time on my hands and kind of waiting for the phone to go or an email 'How are you Mum?" NO not happening!  My second eldest son travelled an extreme journey to visit me last week (bless him) - a little bribery of the air fair helped, but hey it was worth every cent! The other four children I have to jab, chide, beg to get a lousy email or amazingly a phone call.  What did you do wrong as a parent I hear you wondering, well ladies I was firm but fair, and gave lots of cuddles and hugs, and most of all I was there when they came home from school!   I was talking about this to a friend the other day and she said she gets the same 'too busy' signal from her childen and she wondered where in the dickens did she screw up - I said to her, "You were and still are a fantastic and wonderful Mother' you stayed home for your kids the same as I, you kissed their tears away, smacked their bums when they deserved it, but hugged them and told them bed-time stories.....if you screwed up, then so did I, and I don't believe that for one minute.   We were taught to respect and honour our elders, whether we liked it or not and it was firmly ingrained in us from childhood.  My Mother was not the most endearing person in the world, but my husband and I left everything behind in Queensland to travel down to Victoria to be with her in her last days, no regrets!  Well ladies, give me your input...............need it darlings x x x Josie

Thanks Fran I am having the 24 hour injection tomorrow (hence another night in the house of pain)  The vein thing is a bit of a s...t isn't it, I mean with all the stuff that goes on, bone scans (injections) pet scans (ohh injections that make you think you've weed your pants) heart xray injections (two ten minutes apart and sting like buggery!) blood tests prior surgery, blood tests prior chemo, blood tests prior herceptin - I feel like a bloody pin cushion (lookin' like a junkie!) I am scared to have a drink in case all this water comes spurting out of every needle hole - I can picture it now, saying to shocked on-lookers and nursing staff - me sheepishly grinning as water spurts in every direction and me saying "I really think you have gone too far this time guys!" x x x hugs and love to you all x x x Josie

Hey Cath  - I wish you all the best for tomorrow, and look darls, if you are stressed - they can and do give you something to calm you down - do like I do "demand drugs"! Hence yours truly snoozes right through the whole cheno thing and wake up just in time to go home (yay!) I take crosswords and stuff - but honestly I get way too drowsly to concentrate - Oh yes and have two smokes! (I didn't say that the smoke nazi's are listening! wooooooooo!) luv ya and hugs x x x Josie

House of pain, house of horrors! You would think it a flash motel except for the dinging sounds of ward bells, chatter in the hallways and needles (Ugh! I have always hated them and I dont like them now either!) Tea was rather nice and hubby commented "Least you don't have to wash up" "Thanks Darls" I said in a mocking sort of way - so he is going to treat himself to a counter lunch at the pub (half his bloody luck) any way poor man has to go home to an 'empty house', I said "Think of the upside, now you get to pull ALL the blankets off my side of the bed and wrap your self up in a cocoon and not have me digging at your ribs whinning "I am bloody freezing over here!".........He nodded and grinned and said "yeh, but with you not there it wont be as much fun". Love his cottong socks! x x x   

Hi Leonie - My son lives in Biloela (I am totally sure I have got the spelling wrong!) but I am thinking you are in Brisvegas right?  I was very interested in what you had to say abou the chest pain,  right now I have has my fourth (and hopefully final) chemo today and am now tucked up in a bed in a ward at the local hospital for 48 hour observation - I am having the 'tummy' injection in the morning - I am thinking that is the one that knocked me around though it has never happened before.  I bought my laptop in with a heap of 'funny' movies to watch (can't stand those bloody medical shows on tv!) or any gore and stuff (yuk!) any way wish me luck and I wish you luck too - sounds like we are having some issues and hope we find out that is 'just a reaction!'  x x x Josie

Thank you Moira, I will keep the laptop thing in mind  - xxx J

love your sense of humour but if we dont laugh we cry so keep laughing. 

boy i can identify with the blood tests. all my veins collapsed and even with the picc line it was always a major hassle. i had the 24hr later injection to boost up my white cells and bone marrow.  hope all goes well for you tomorrow, Fran

Hi Josie,

Wow you have been throught the ringer, I love your sense of humour though. Hope I can keep mine as well as you have. I get those you are so brave comments too and I think no I'm not I'm just doing what has to be done, I don't have a choice. I'm going to put my brave face on tomorrow as I go in to do battle with the enemy within.....first round of chemo for me..YAY, not! I can just picture it now, me standing outside the hospital not wanting to go in, my husband saying come on and me replying no I have to have a smoke first...lol.

Take care and look forward to hearing all about the new house. Big hugs back to you.

Cath xx