Permanent Hair Loss?

@KatieT I have to say I agree with you, Im so glad you are seeing a Psychologist! Its very beneficial on so many levels. I didnt do the LGFB course at all, but Ive heard its good, Ive always been into makeup and well groomed so didnt feel a need for it. One of the biggest psychological things of this journey I can totally relate to is appearance. I was always feminine, well groomed, had long blonde hair, though in my 40's and not young LOL. How l look now is a far cry from what I was as little as 2 years ago. My whole body shape has changed thanks to treatment, my hair whilst Im grateful, has a way to go to a length I feel happy, the toll of treatment is seen in my face as I feel Ive aged 10 years!! and I'll be honest as we do count our blessings and yes its great to be alive... BUT it doesnt diminish the sadness at the loss of all that we are along the way. Its hard to not be upset at who youve become because of treatment...I think thats normal. Its not the BC that has made you now look the way you do unfortunately, its the treatments. Ive spent alot of time learning to love me again, this new me but it isnt easy when you know how you looked previously and yes we should embrace the new us, but its not that easy or simple...and nobody else walks in our shoes, nobody...we are left to look in the mirror, nobody else. So I indulge and I pop on my makeup and do my hair and try and capture that femininity of who I am and it does pep me up, although I look different, its those little things that bring me peace and gives me that feminine feeling. Hugs Melinda xo 

Dear KatieT sorry for your loss.  It's very hard to take feeling like you have lost your looks and it's a constant reminder that you had cancer.  When I had my hair shaved off my children emailed me photos of Charlize Theron in Mad Max with a buzz cut.  She looked very sexy. Also Signory  Weever in Alien.  It made me feel much better.  Have you thought of shaving your hair and wearing a wig every day? You could have one made from human hair which you will be totally happy with.  Also having eyebrows tattooed sounds a great idea.  No eye brows looks great on the Mona Lisa but is a difficult look to carry off.  

 I am guessing  your family and friends think you look lovely.  They are thrilled you are alive.  Cancer is a horrible disease and many of us pay a big price for having it even if we survive it.  Counseling is a great idea.  My sympathies to you.  Best wishes for the future.  Karen 

@KatieT
I look in the mirror and wonder where that 18 year old has gone - the one that was happy go lucky, trim, fit as a fiddle!  I get it and understand totally, you're struggling with the reflection in the mirror.  Have you been to the Look Good Feel Better program?  https://lgfb.org.au/programs/ - it's free and will be a confidence booster!
Take care

:)  I am getting used to it a bit.  I am now seeing a psychologist for depression and I don't know if it helps but it doesn't make it worse.  I miss being pretty (even though I am older :) )  I miss being feminine.  I miss going to the hairdresser and feeling good about how I look after it.  I miss doing girl things where looks matter.  Sometimes I forget and then glance in the mirror and see my elderly aunty with the motheaten hair and bald patches as she was just before she died.  That's the new me now.  I have taken to dragging the whisps of hair up to cover the baldest bits and holding them there with a scrunchy.  It looks awful but a lady with bald patches in between fuzz isn't a good look either.  Life goes on I suppose.  People keep telling me how lucky I am to be alive.  It's hard for me to believe that but I guess they must be right.  

I'm sorry to hear about your hair problems. I have lost my hair now for the 3rd. time !  It is something you never get use to. The first time was about 20 years ago so I dont remember much about that time except that it grew back very grey and curly. Over the years it has become thinner but I dont think I had any bald patches. The second time was 5yrs ago and it took longer to grow back.  Now I'm on Abraxane again so I'm as bald as a badger. Sometimes I forget I have no hair and go to brush it after washing my head ! I use Moo Goo shampoo as it is very gentle on the little bit of fluff that is starting to appear . Really ,I guess we are lucky to have these treatments that are keeping us alive.  If only the side effects weren't so severe.

Hi Katie, I am so sorry you are experiencing this.I know a little of how you may be feeling. For 17 yrs prior to being diagnosed with BC I suffered with intermittent and relapsing Alopecia. My patches of baldness varied greatly. One time I lost hair over one half of my head and then other times I had several palm sized bald spots all over. I tried rogaine but it didn't really make a difference. Sometimes my hair loss would last for 2 yrs at other times it would begin regrowing after 2 months. I never knew when it was going to hit, or how long it would last and it made me feel terrible. I hated looking at myself. All they could tell me is that it was autoimmune related and stress was sometimes a trigger.  When I had my information session prior to chemo I distinctly remember them saying  "your hair will grow back" but when i mentioned my history with Alopecia they were more cautious and said maybe I would be affected differently to most women. I really hope that your hair is just taking a really long time to make its return appearance. FYI I used a lot of scarves and cotton soft caps to cover my hair loss so I know a few places that sell scarves very cheaply if you are interested.
Best of luck with everything

@Sillysam83

Hi Katie, why not get your eyebrows tatooed! Anything to make you feel better. I felt so much for you when you wrote about  looking like someone you don't recognise....I honestly feel that way too. Not only because of the slow hair growth  and new colour, but I have also lost 7 kilos (normally I'd be ok about that ).. But as I'm only short I believe it has aged me too.  I know it's what is inside that counts, maybe we have to remind ourselves what a beautiful person we ARE inside. 
Thinking of you.
Anne-Marie

Hi KatieT, I'm sorry to hear about your hair or lack of.  I have only just finished my chemo and have slight growth on the sides but nothing much happening on the top.  Have you tried Nioxin shampoo and conditioner?  I was told to use this right through treatment and it is supposed to encourage healthy hair growth.  Worth a try?  I got mine from Price Attack.  I found losing my hair and eyelashes/brows very difficult. I have a wig but don't really feel comfortable wearing it but scarfes drive me crazy.  Good luck xx

Docetaxel (Taxotere) has been in trouble over causing permanent hair loss without having a warning. My oncologist didn't inform me of this either.

(I was on it too and I've had to re-shave my head because while it is growing back, it's not growing back with even 80% coverage - the patches are balder than a baby's bum. I'm hoping that given more time it will sort itself out, but it may be looking at shaving it back and popping on wigs or just becoming everyone's friendly neighborhood bald girl from here on out. I'm pretty upset about it, I couldn't hate wigs more, but c'est la vie. *swoops in and saves kittens*)

I'm sorry you're having to go through this. It's all a bit of a shock isn't it.