Forum Discussion

Janet_A's avatar
Janet_A
Member
11 years ago

Hot Flushes!

I am wondering how long these hot flushes last! Feels like I am a council worker in the hot midday sun permanently!

How does one think feminine when these flushes keep us so sweaty?

Can anyone out there give me any suggestions? My oncologist says they will subside, I guess as time goes along new things come to mind and going forward after treatment what will life be like?

I feel relations with my partner may never be the same after enjoying a very good sex life! Now I don't feel like the same person....and trying keep my sense of humour! My partner seems distant or is that me looking into the mirror seeing a bald woman! Tufty hair and slight acne, yes you read right acne at 55, what a sight! Not sexy at all.

This is difficult stuff.

side-effects
  • mum2jj's avatar
    mum2jj
    Member
    11 years ago
    I also meditate daily, in fact off to meditate right now. Problem is I have a very busy mind so struggle a bit to find the inner peace. However I figure once a day I sit and be by myself in my room and be still. It's a good start. Enjoy your catch up girls. Have a wine and a curry for me. Hehehe. Paula x
  • DaisyMarigold's avatar
    DaisyMarigold
    Member
    11 years ago

    Thanks Julie. Heading off tomorrow night to the Sidney Myer Music Bowl with a bunch of friends for the Melbourne Symphony's annual outdoor concert series. Feels good to be organising those sorts of outings again. Was too exhausted and focused on my own stuff last year. Look forward to having a glass of wine with you next month - I shall bring my $2 fan in case of hot flushes! Have a good weekend.Pam  xx

  • Merlins_mum's avatar
    Merlins_mum
    Member
    11 years ago

    Hi Louise - yup thats me.  Have just finished my glass of wine after a plate of Sri Lankan chicken.  Yum.  I know I will get the sweats later but it was so worth it!

    One day at a time is the only way I think.  So pleased you dont feel so alone as, as you can see there are lots of us with the exact same issues - we just try to find ways to deal with the physical stuff while we all wrestle to some extent with the mental journey.

    Cheers for now

    Julie

     

  • Loucobamd's avatar
    Loucobamd
    Member
    11 years ago
    Hello ladies, Hot flushes are the pits and the crawling on your skin that goes on is horrible. One thing I did notice though was I got the crawling on my mastectomy side which in a warped way made me happy after having numbness for so long, go figure that one!! My hot flushes are not part of treatment just part of being a woman. I have done the stopping caffeine, alcohol and spicy foods and it does help but sometimes I cave in and have a curry and a glass of wine. Sometimes we have to fall off the bandwagon we deserve it :) I have struggled quite a bit with self image, confidence and sexuality following my mastectomy. I don't really have any answers or solutions. It is not always easy to discuss these things with your partner or friends but I have found all you lovely ladies and do not feel so alone anymore. I keep my mantra as one day at a time. I would like to get back to that confident sexy woman I once was but I try to keep it realistic too and know these things take time. Thank you all for sharing, Louise x
  • mum2jj's avatar
    mum2jj
    Member
    11 years ago
    Not much I can say that the girls haven't covered. Just wanted to say welcome to our little group where we have a bit of a giggle over things we can't share with anyone else. I am lucky my hot flushes are not very frequent and usually when I'm stressed. I live in Cairns so I hear you re the humidity. Stay in touch. Paula x
  • Janet_A's avatar
    Janet_A
    Member
    11 years ago

    Hi Pam,

    Thanks for the tips. All my favourite things I must give away? Baha. Love coffee. Is it ok to take st johns wort? I am nervous about any hormonal stuff now. I too was on HRT for horrible symptoms that I just couldn't cope with. Luckily I guess just the hot flushes have returned. Although during chemo my temp went up and down this last treatment, we always remember our cycle and it occurred around the time of that when I used to get these fevers I thought like flu symptoms that my gyno diagnosed as menopause which I had been getting since I was 31, I was 43 at the time of seeing my gyno who put me on estrogen. It stopped all of that but this last treatment I think its back. Debilitatilng symptoms for a full 24 hours. I noticed when I am stressed my flushes kick in, funny hey.

    I will have a think about the herbalist as I live up at Mackay. Hot flushes and heat humidity is just fantastic as you can imagine. Thankfully the wet has finally arrived with the cool sea breezes to cool us down at last, the build up lasted a long time!

    Cheers Janet

     

  • DaisyMarigold's avatar
    DaisyMarigold
    Member
    11 years ago

    Hi Janet - I know where you're coming from. I was on HRT for 18 years because of dreadful menopause symptoms, but had to stop 18 months ago because of BC. All the symptoms came back with a vengeance. I don't know where you live, but I consult a medical herbalist in Melbourne who did her PhD in herbs/menopause etc. She's been brilliant. She mixes up tonics - we've tried a number of different ingredients - some have really lessened the hot flushes and some brought them straight back. So I can say that the right mix really helps me a lot. I still get a few each day/night, but not as many as I did, and not the dreadful soaking ones that happened when I first went off HRT. I also take herbs such as Kava and St John's Wort which she prescribes, and they help keep me calm. Stress/anxiety is a killer for hot flushes - and Julie is right about alcohol and spicy food. You can add sugar and caffeine to that list too - I drink organic freetrade decaf coffee beans, and they're ok. Decaf tea is better too - if you can stand it. My partner also bought me cheap but really effective Asian-style fans at the $2 shop. I keep one in my handbag, and use it when I need to. Hot flushes are far worse for me in humid areas, as I found out in Sydney recently. My herbalist does Skype appointments for people out of Melbourne, so if you're interested in contacting her, let me know. Re the sex. We ALL struggle with that, which is why we formed this group. Have a look through the posts - Yes vaginal moisturiser and oil-based lubricant have helped a lot of us re painful sex - including me. We haven't hit gold on the libido issue - you can take some herbal preparations that help with that, but they just made my hot flushes worse. My partner is very understanding, but our sex life is certainly not what it was. I think we've both accepted it will never be the same, but I do try to take good care of his enjoyment during sex, even if I have no interest myself. He appreciates that gesture, and that stops me feeling too bad. It's all bloody difficult to negotiate, and as Julie says, you just have to try to find a different kind of intimacy. Good luck with it all, and keep in touch with us. Pam xx