I am wondering how long these hot flushes last! Feels like I am a council worker in the hot midday sun permanently! How does one think feminine when these flushes keep us so sweaty? Can anyone out there give me any suggestions? My oncologist says they will subside, I guess as time goes along new things come to mind and going forward after treatment what will life be like? I feel relations with my partner may never be the same after enjoying a very good sex life! Now I don't feel like the same person....and trying keep my sense of humour! My partner seems distant or is that me looking into the mirror seeing a bald woman! Tufty hair and slight acne, yes you read right acne at 55, what a sight! Not sexy at all. This is difficult stuff.

Hi Janet - I know where you're coming from. I was on HRT for 18 years because of dreadful menopause symptoms, but had to stop 18 months ago because of BC. All the symptoms came back with a vengeance. I don't know where you live, but I consult a medical herbalist in Melbourne who did her PhD in herbs/menopause etc. She's been brilliant. She mixes up tonics - we've tried a number of different ingredients - some have really lessened the hot flushes and some brought them straight back. So I can say that the right mix really helps me a lot. I still get a few each day/night, but not as many as I did, and not the dreadful soaking ones that happened when I first went off HRT. I also take herbs such as Kava and St John's Wort which she prescribes, and they help keep me calm. Stress/anxiety is a killer for hot flushes - and Julie is right about alcohol and spicy food. You can add sugar and caffeine to that list too - I drink organic freetrade decaf coffee beans, and they're ok. Decaf tea is better too - if you can stand it. My partner also bought me cheap but really effective Asian-style fans at the $2 shop. I keep one in my handbag, and use it when I need to. Hot flushes are far worse for me in humid areas, as I found out in Sydney recently. My herbalist does Skype appointments for people out of Melbourne, so if you're interested in contacting her, let me know. Re the sex. We ALL struggle with that, which is why we formed this group. Have a look through the posts - Yes vaginal moisturiser and oil-based lubricant have helped a lot of us re painful sex - including me. We haven't hit gold on the libido issue - you can take some herbal preparations that help with that, but they just made my hot flushes worse. My partner is very understanding, but our sex life is certainly not what it was. I think we've both accepted it will never be the same, but I do try to take good care of his enjoyment during sex, even if I have no interest myself. He appreciates that gesture, and that stops me feeling too bad. It's all bloody difficult to negotiate, and as Julie says, you just have to try to find a different kind of intimacy. Good luck with it all, and keep in touch with us. Pam xx

Hi Pam, Thanks for the tips. All my favourite things I must give away? Baha. Love coffee. Is it ok to take st johns wort? I am nervous about any hormonal stuff now. I too was on HRT for horrible symptoms that I just couldn't cope with. Luckily I guess just the hot flushes have returned. Although during chemo my temp went up and down this last treatment, we always remember our cycle and it occurred around the time of that when I used to get these fevers I thought like flu symptoms that my gyno diagnosed as menopause which I had been getting since I was 31, I was 43 at the time of seeing my gyno who put me on estrogen. It stopped all of that but this last treatment I think its back. Debilitatilng symptoms for a full 24 hours. I noticed when I am stressed my flushes kick in, funny hey. I will have a think about the herbalist as I live up at Mackay. Hot flushes and heat humidity is just fantastic as you can imagine. Thankfully the wet has finally arrived with the cool sea breezes to cool us down at last, the build up lasted a long time! Cheers Janet

Sounds good, may I have her details, thanks so much Pam xx

Not much I can say that the girls haven't covered. Just wanted to say welcome to our little group where we have a bit of a giggle over things we can't share with anyone else. I am lucky my hot flushes are not very frequent and usually when I'm stressed. I live in Cairns so I hear you re the humidity. Stay in touch. Paula x

Hot Flushes! | BCNA Online Network

Janet_A
Member
11 years ago
I saw a picture of a bc survivor on facebook, there was a story attached with an image of this girl. She was standing with hands on hips, looking directly into the lens, her hair was short from treatment and seems a double mascetomy, her face was lit up with a beautiful smile and air of confidence and happiness, this was inspiring and wish i kept the image when my bald head looks balder if that makes sense! It was like she was saying, this is me.
Janet_A
Member
11 years ago
I saw a picture of a bc survivor on facebook, there was a story attached with an image of this girl. She was standing with hands on hips, looking directly into the lens, her hair was short from treatment and seems a double mascetomy, her face was lit up with a beautiful smile and air of confidence and happiness, this was inspiring and wish i kept the image when my bald head looks balder if that makes sense! It was like she was saying, this is me.
Janet_A
Member
11 years ago
How was the rain up there Paula! I am so glad it's cooler. Walked the beach today, windy but refreshing, happy too that I could walk the same distance pre diagnosis! Didn't feel any hot flushes haha too windy!
Janet_A
Member
11 years ago
How was the rain up there Paula! I am so glad it's cooler. Walked the beach today, windy but refreshing, happy too that I could walk the same distance pre diagnosis! Didn't feel any hot flushes haha too windy!
mum2jj
Member
11 years ago
Me too ;) P x
mum2jj
Member
11 years ago
I go through stages with mantras, chakras etc. still hunting for the perfect meditation... Aren't we all? Paula x
Merlins_mum
Member
11 years ago
Haha. Soo looking forward to it!
Merlins_mum
Member
11 years ago
Thanks Paula. Wish you were in Melbourne! ;)
DaisyMarigold
Member
11 years ago
Yep, I still suffer from the busy mind syndrome even after 25 years. I have a mantra, but when my mind is racing I find it helps to say 'Just be still'.... Don't know if you use any of the chakras in your meditation, but I find if I focus on the heart chakra, it gets me out of my head and more into my body. Yes, we'll have a wine and bloody hot curry for you...only joking about the curry! Pam xx
mum2jj
Member
11 years ago
Been meaning to comment. Love your new profile pic. You look great. Paula x