Oh Suzi I'm so sorry that this wretched disease has got its teeth into you. It bloody sucks. All I can say is that we have a number of folk here with mets who are doing well on the various meds that are available now.
Hang out here for a vent, a question, a muse and even a laugh. This forum serves many purposes not the least of which is taking a load off our friends and family. I don't think they realise how valuable it is!
If you're feeling positive, go with it. But if you're not, don't beat yourself up about it. I find the pressure to be 'the good patient' difficult, and psychologically it's better to feel all the feels.
You know the ropes in so many ways. The biggest hug luv. K xox