I am dealing with secondaries...I'm not going to lie to you it is shit! planning your own funeral...crap! Telling your kids you won't see them grow up! totally, utterly gut wrenching crap! Dealing with the fact that cancer is going to kill me! utterly, completely CRAP! People telling me I should just stay positive "wanting to punch them in the face" CRAPPITY CRAP CRAP CRAP!!!

Hey Belinda, I'm not gonna lie and tell you I know how you feel, cos I dont. But I am gonna tell you that I would be feeling the same way and I think your restraint in language is amazing! :-) I know we're online and all but yep, I'd be lettin out those crazy a** words, just put some of these **** in there and we'll get you! If you cant say that stuff here, where can u? Chicks at our age have got too many other much more important things in life we should be dealing with other than this shite! I've got 3 girls too (21, 18 & 10) and they are my life, so you have every damn right to feel angry and let down by the world. Positivity is great and all but C'MON PEOPLE...BREAST CANCER SUCKS!! Its that phrase that everyone says to you when you get diagnosed but I reckon its a crock! Lets see if THEY can be positive while dealing with surgeries, chemo, rads, vomiting, being bald, scars, stitches, hospitals..and that's on a GOOD DAY!!!! Then lets chuck in kids, work, running a household, school excursions, lunches, homework etc etc WE HEAR YA BELINDA!!! YELL AWAY!!! Sam xxxxx

I can't begin to imagine how you are feeling, dealing with a primary is hard enough. There are no words to comfort you but if I could I would give you a big hug and swear away with you. And believe me I have a potty mouth when the mood takes me! Take care of yourself sweetheart this is seriously an Effed up disease. xx Dan xx

However you feel, go with it. Unfortunately or fortunately, I have not "done" the angry bit YET. You need to let it out, punch walls, yell, swear whatever. I deal with my diagnosis by keeping extremely busy - even if I ache all over. The only person who knows my pain is my hubby - and I keep most of it from him!!! I can't tell you how to feel - only be here to "hear" your ROAR. If I could wave a magic wand and rid us all of BC I would be a very happy soul. It is CRAP and it does CRAP things. Please live in the knowledge that there are people on this site who care about you. XLeonie

Just wanted to say this whole bl**dy thing is shit, and you have every right to scream it from the roof tops, and I know what you mean about the stay positive line, if I have one more person say how strong I am I think I might throttle them, dont they realize we are crazy on the inside, arrh, would love it if we could wipe it off and flush it down, but seeing as that is not going to happen, I say bottoms up with a whole new meaning ( have a drink) and yell all you like. Cheers Narelle

Secondaries | BCNA Online Network

chipmunk
Member
13 years ago
Belinda

I just dont know where to start. I am sorry, but I have just got onto my laptop from being away on holidays.

Just cherish every moment you have on this earth with family, your beautiful children, much brave husband and friends. You have even given us - Pink Ladies - courage and strength from your blogs. I totally thank you for that :) and big hugs.

It will not be easy for anyone, but you are showing so much courage and determination to fight this wretched cancer. We all send you positive thoughts and blessings.

Hold every moment in your heart and thoughts.

Hope you have as much time with your family.

Love to you always Julie XX
chipmunk
Member
13 years ago
Belinda

I just dont know where to start. I am sorry, but I have just got onto my laptop from being away on holidays.

Just cherish every moment you have on this earth with family, your beautiful children, much brave husband and friends. You have even given us - Pink Ladies - courage and strength from your blogs. I totally thank you for that :) and big hugs.

It will not be easy for anyone, but you are showing so much courage and determination to fight this wretched cancer. We all send you positive thoughts and blessings.

Hold every moment in your heart and thoughts.

Hope you have as much time with your family.

Love to you always Julie XX
LeanneI
Member
13 years ago
Belinda - I cannot even begin to imagine the world you are living within.

Your honesty in sharing is just purely inspirational and I can't find words to describe your courage.

Every word I start to type just doesn't seem appropriate.

Your have given your family everything you possibly could have - lessons in courage, inspiration, strength and most of all immeasurable and unconditional love. They will hold these in their hearts for their entire lives.

May you have relief from pain and as much time with your family as possible.

Love to you and your family.

Leanne xx
Kerries
Member
13 years ago
Dear belinda thank you for sharing your story. I too have been diagnosed with secondaries this year & reading your story inspires me to know that you can do whatever it takes to fight back. I agree with you, this disease is shit & crap but you are strong enough to fight it to the end. Take care & love to you & your family. oxoxox
ShirlO
Member
13 years ago
Belinda ... I have been following your journey over the last 6 months and I find your courage totally awe-inspiring.

The fact that you have accepted the inevitable and have used this precious time to spend with your family and create memories they will always hold onto, their birthdays, and yours, Christmas and the New Year (perhaps not on as grande a scale as you could wish) means that in time they will remember you with smiles not tears.

It never ceases to amaze me that through this bloody disease we make contact and form friendships with people we may never meet in this life but I'm sure we'll all get together some where, some time. Until then ...... Much love to you and yours

Shirl x0x0x
ShirlO
Member
13 years ago
Belinda ... I have been following your journey over the last 6 months and I find your courage totally awe-inspiring.

The fact that you have accepted the inevitable and have used this precious time to spend with your family and create memories they will always hold onto, their birthdays, and yours, Christmas and the New Year (perhaps not on as grande a scale as you could wish) means that in time they will remember you with smiles not tears.

It never ceases to amaze me that through this bloody disease we make contact and form friendships with people we may never meet in this life but I'm sure we'll all get together some where, some time. Until then ...... Much love to you and yours

Shirl x0x0x
TonyaM
Member
13 years ago
I was so sad to read your blog but inspired at the same time.Your courage is beyond words.I hope another chemo will buy you more time with your lovely family.Sending love and hugs,Tonya xx
TonyaM
Member
13 years ago
I was so sad to read your blog but inspired at the same time.Your courage is beyond words.I hope another chemo will buy you more time with your lovely family.Sending love and hugs,Tonya xx
FD
Member
13 years ago
Belinda I am so sorry to hear your news. You are an inspiration to many. To be so brave to try another chemo shows your undeniable never ending love for your family. I have everything crossed that the next round of treatment is far more successful and helps to relieve any pain you are feeling. I can't imagine how you manage to find the strength day after day but your courage amazes me. I am sending all my love and wishes to you and your family xx Lara xx
JJoy
Member
13 years ago
Hi Belinda, well my darling - what can I say, I am shocked and deeply upset - it makes me realise how darn fragile everything is. Unusual for me but I am having difficulty in expressing myself, but can I say that I wish you love. X x x Josie