Scared

Dear Sabine, I hear the anxiety in your post and am so sorry that you have to endure these frightening memories.  I think knowing what I know now we should give ourselves every opportunity to stay on top of our health and do whatever possible to reduce our risk of any kind of new or recurrent cancer.  In my humble opinion, if you ignore them you will probably worry about 'what if".  You would be devastated if your had the opportunity to check something but ended up not doing it out of fear and then get a diagnosis later when prevention is then impossible and treatment options become less effective.  I would say, do it afraid, just do it.  Get someone to go with you to hold your hand and to be there for the results too.  Get a friend or relative that can stay calm and help you to be calm. 

I was told for 12 months "I had nothing to worry about" before I was told my 'benign cysts' were 3 malignant tumors.  I wish I could have known earlier and prevented my cancer from spreading.  So I get your anxiety and fearfulnes of what has happendened to you in the past.

Could you perhaps consider going for a hysterectomy if you have a fear of it spreading there? Sorry, I don't quite know the extend of how your cancer has metastesized or if this kind of surgery is even an option.  I really think you should have it checked hun.

Lots of hugs and prayers for courage xxx