Scared, confused and need advice

Hi Thanks for all the info and support .. Yesterday was a blur .. Most of the afternoon I couldn't even talk I was just a heap on my bed with my 2 little dogs .. I think they know again what is happening ... Since yesterday luckily I've got to speak to the nurses at the hospital and they have rushed me in tomorrow to have a bone scan .. And I will have blood tests and a heart test on Monday so the onc will everything he needs to make a prognosis .... I am still really scared .. As I'm thinking it's going to be really really bad ,.. But they now know I plan to fly out next Friday .. And the nurse told me it is a 3-4 week to start chemo normally .. So she can't imagine the doctor saying don't go ... But I know this is all circumstantial still at the moment .. I can't make a decision till I see the doctor .... Today I didn't go to work and went and sat on the beach ( my happy place ) and looked out the blue sky the sound of the waves and decided this IS NOT going to get me this time either ... My cancer was oestrogen positive I think before ...