Forum Discussion
Sadly, Wendy55 passed away on March 3rd, 2024
I have just heard the sad news from Wendy55's partner, Ron, that Wendy passed away on March 3rd, 2024. He asked me to thank everyone for their friendship and contact with Wendy over the years. xx
She was first diagnosed with Breast Cancer 11 years ago - and had the most amazing Oncologist who fought for her all the way - she was on many new tests and trials with many good outcomes. Most Oncs will only give you 2-3 'lines of treatment' ... Wendy's Onc gave her 10 or 11. She was on many trials & tests & given meds on compassionate grounds .... but late last year, things started getting really tough.
It was Wendy's wish that her friends on BCNA be advised of her passing.
She wanted the Dragonfly Motif to grace her name.
Wendy was just the most amazing, uplifting, wise, wonderful woman - so tolerant of the treatment she was going thru - yet wiling to share SO MUCH of her story with all of us.
Wendy had been the beacon for so many members here (particularly those with Mets) and was so supportive of everyone else, even when she was feeling so crook herself, particularly in the last 6 months of her life.
She was incredibly supportive of me, when my beloved husband was diagnosed with Mets in 2020 and passed away in May 2022 .... for which I will forever be grateful.
They really could write a book about her Breast Cancer story - as she never stopped fighting.
Vale Wendy - Rest in Peace my friend. Fly high xx
I have advised my siblings that I, too, want members to know of my demise and the dragonfly attached to my profile, when the time comes. They will email BCNA when appropriate.
She was first diagnosed with Breast Cancer 11 years ago - and had the most amazing Oncologist who fought for her all the way - she was on many new tests and trials with many good outcomes. Most Oncs will only give you 2-3 'lines of treatment' ... Wendy's Onc gave her 10 or 11. She was on many trials & tests & given meds on compassionate grounds .... but late last year, things started getting really tough.
It was Wendy's wish that her friends on BCNA be advised of her passing.
She wanted the Dragonfly Motif to grace her name.
Wendy was just the most amazing, uplifting, wise, wonderful woman - so tolerant of the treatment she was going thru - yet wiling to share SO MUCH of her story with all of us.
Wendy had been the beacon for so many members here (particularly those with Mets) and was so supportive of everyone else, even when she was feeling so crook herself, particularly in the last 6 months of her life.
She was incredibly supportive of me, when my beloved husband was diagnosed with Mets in 2020 and passed away in May 2022 .... for which I will forever be grateful.
They really could write a book about her Breast Cancer story - as she never stopped fighting.
Vale Wendy - Rest in Peace my friend. Fly high xx
I have advised my siblings that I, too, want members to know of my demise and the dragonfly attached to my profile, when the time comes. They will email BCNA when appropriate.
27 Replies
- I believe, It used to be applied to any member who'd passed, not just with mets, @Vangirl
Many of us brought the subject up in the survey that was on earlier this month. - Can I clarify - would the dragonfly motif be applied to members' profiles who have mets when they are diagnosed as such or only when they die? I have mets, so that's why I'm asking.
- Dear @arpie thank you very much for letting us know about @wendy55
@wendy55 posted some caring lovey supportive posts
on a personal note, I’m in the mets group but I don’t like the dragonfly motif and have had a discussion around this with @Mez_BCNA - it should be an option to opt for or not
best wishes to everyone xx - Thanks @Mez_BCNA. We definitely are honouring our friend.
I am sure as well as the survey, you are also able to raise the concerns mentioned here to help us. - Sending compassion and kindness to all of those who are friends of Wendy. Very saddened to hear of her passing and hope you all connect with and support each other during this time.
We don't want to take away from purpose of this discussion in honouring Wendy and will keep this next part brief. We do not want to ignore the conversations around the Dragonfly and the legacy process, we encourage you to please voice this feedback in the survey (Refer to post Have your say on the Online Network )
Take care and reflect on the wonderful connections you have had with your friend Wendy. - The way I see it is that members who become metastatic should be asked about this or members should be asked on joining what their wishes are.
BCNA only exist because we do and their survival is related only to us. So if they stop meeting members needs, they will lose funding if members aren't joining or they leave.
My point is that they should therefore give us the dragonfly and other simple things we require from them.
The current survey is an opportunity but for staff who read this thread please look at this issue. Actually any issues raised from us here should always be considered, escalated and responded to. That would be service. - Ditto @Blossom1961
Why the Dragonfly was discontinued without consultation is beyond me. Obviously those 'in charge' have no understanding of how we feel about each other. - I felt so upset when a friend had passed from this disease and it took me two months before finding out. Chasing someone up for months only to find out they have died is extremely cruel. Bring back the dragonfly.
- Absolutely, @Cath62 - I actually believe there should be 2 x 'click options' within our profile that we can change at any time to:
1) permission to advise members of our demise once BCNA is made aware of it by a family member
2) Add Dragonfly to our profile as a sign of respect
Initially I thought maybe a question when registering with BCNA - as at that point, the new member doesn't have a relationship with the group & would be unlikely to tick 'yes' ...
Wendy55 was also very concerned about inactive members, particularly in the Mets Private Group - it should be a simple change, to show members from 'joined most recently' rather than as is showing now ...
Checking on inactive members could be something as simple as the Mods sending an email out to those who've been inactive for a year or so - 'just checking on how you are going' ..... and hopefully they would reply - or else a family member may reply, advising that the member had passed away. xx
Many of us have ongoing 'offline' contact with members who have become very good friends & we also socialise and holiday together - many of us have exchanged email & phone numbers, so that we can keep in touch when offline .... and we support each other thru good times & bad.
And having the Dragonfly added to passed member's profiles - shows that WE CARE!
