Hi Concernedsister, that's awesome that you are using this site, as it is important for families and spouses also.
My cancer was quite advanced initially, I had a mastectomy and auxiliary clearance in 2015. There was a large ductal tumour along with a separate one on the nipple. There were 5 positive lymph nodes, so mine was well on its way. Following chemo and rads I was started on tamoxifen as I was post menopausal. This worked well for about 18 months, and then I was diagnosed with bony mets. Then following rads to the bones, I was commenced on Arimidex and that worked for a few months, and then my oncologist commenced me on oral chemotherapy.
My breast care nurse explained to me that the cancer cells can sit there microscopically and be not picked up by scans, so spread is hard to diagnose until it takes off. The earlier that breast cancer is diagnosed and treated, the better the outcome.
I am fortunate to have a great treatment team, who are trying as many options as they can, so I'm receiving wonderful care, and my family and friends are my other team.
My advice is to ask as many questions as possible, take a list with you, and explore your options.
Sending you a big cuddle, Trace