I can't connect with my diagnosis..
Hi there, This is my first post for 5 years. A month ago, I was diagnosed with metastatic bc in my spine and rib, 5 years almost to the day of my initial diagnosis. I am perfectly well, and it was pic...
Forum Discussion
Hi @Ellamary98 - I'm going through my first diagnosis with Breast Cancer and haven't been diagnosed with mets - definitely a raw deal for you there and with all the research and new treatments available I'm sending you lots of positive vibes....
What I can relate to, is a disconnection from your diagnosis and really wanting life to go on as normal. I was diagnosed in January with invasive lobular carcinoma and managed to get the A-OK to delay my surgery and treatment until April. Apart from the time that I was going through the staging scans (about a week), for most of those three months I just kept the BC diagnosis in the background, doing as much research as I could about what I'd be going through, but effectively just working, socialising and running my household as normal. The only people who knew about my diagnosis were my husband and kids (and they were all fine, because I was fine), one brother in law who is a doctor, one close friend who is a BC survivor and my manager at work. I didn't tell anyone else.
In fact, the most STRESSFUL time for me was a week before my surgery, when I had to let the cat out of the bag to the rest of the family and a whole heap of friends. I knew that a lot of people would react badly and that I would have to manage their fear just like you are dreading - all the while I was feeling absolutely fine, looking fine and doing fine!
I sent out a text message and basically set the tone - using a bit of humour (started my text by telling people I had to get a couple of things off my chest) and laying down the law - didn't want to hear gloom and doom, don't contact me until you've had a chance to absorb this and deal with it and you're ready to be on Team Chirpy etc - it did have the desired effect and although there were a few people who dissolved in tears that I had to mop up, generally everyone is 'behaving' - at least to my face! hahahahah - I'm sure it's a different story behind my back!
You'll deal with this in your own time, your own space and your own way. Don't feel that a sense of calm is a bad thing - it's actually a gift. You're obviously pragmatic and you'll take one day at a time and one step at a time.
Sending you lots of hugs xx
What I can relate to, is a disconnection from your diagnosis and really wanting life to go on as normal. I was diagnosed in January with invasive lobular carcinoma and managed to get the A-OK to delay my surgery and treatment until April. Apart from the time that I was going through the staging scans (about a week), for most of those three months I just kept the BC diagnosis in the background, doing as much research as I could about what I'd be going through, but effectively just working, socialising and running my household as normal. The only people who knew about my diagnosis were my husband and kids (and they were all fine, because I was fine), one brother in law who is a doctor, one close friend who is a BC survivor and my manager at work. I didn't tell anyone else.
In fact, the most STRESSFUL time for me was a week before my surgery, when I had to let the cat out of the bag to the rest of the family and a whole heap of friends. I knew that a lot of people would react badly and that I would have to manage their fear just like you are dreading - all the while I was feeling absolutely fine, looking fine and doing fine!
I sent out a text message and basically set the tone - using a bit of humour (started my text by telling people I had to get a couple of things off my chest) and laying down the law - didn't want to hear gloom and doom, don't contact me until you've had a chance to absorb this and deal with it and you're ready to be on Team Chirpy etc - it did have the desired effect and although there were a few people who dissolved in tears that I had to mop up, generally everyone is 'behaving' - at least to my face! hahahahah - I'm sure it's a different story behind my back!
You'll deal with this in your own time, your own space and your own way. Don't feel that a sense of calm is a bad thing - it's actually a gift. You're obviously pragmatic and you'll take one day at a time and one step at a time.
Sending you lots of hugs xx